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Will your husband cheat?


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#1 Fiannan

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Posted 04 October 2008 - 01:24 PM

Men Who Cheat: It's Not About Sex, But Appreciation | Newsweek Culture | Newsweek.com

Really interesting article. Should be required reading.

On a related note, I once saw one of those "Is your husband cheating" articles on another forum. Seems it goes along in many psychological ways with the serious article above. I think it went like this:

1) Your husband starts wanting to spend more time at work.
2) Husband often has smells like someone else's perfume on clothing.
3) He starts to work out more than he has in the past.
4) Wants more intimacy but if you turn him down he just says "okay, no problem -- I understand".
5) Starts listening to totally different types of music. If he was into classic rock of the 70s and now starts listening to pop, dance or alternative rock he's likely with a much younger women. If he turns to country it's hard to tell and if he suddenly starts liking plays and listening to Barbara Streisand his new lover is a man.
6) Suddenly suggests totally different recreational activities or new places to dine out.
7) Vocabulary shifts.
8) Starts interests in totally different things than in the past.
9) Makes comments like Bill shouldn't be judged to harshly for cheating on Hillary -- especially if he's a hard-core Republican.
10) Encourages you to visit your out-of-town relatives way more than in the past.
11) Hides internet and telephone conversations.
12) More assertive and shows higher levels of confidence.
"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." - Sigmund Freud, General Introduction to Psychoanalysis

#2 BenRaines

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Posted 04 October 2008 - 01:47 PM

I saw an article online about this guy. He was on Oprah. Hey anything to sell a book.

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"If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties." Sir Francis Bacon

#3 AngelonaWing

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Posted 04 October 2008 - 03:17 PM

I can say that NO My husband will not cheat on me. and I won't and don't cheat on him.

#4 lilered

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Posted 04 October 2008 - 03:47 PM

Men Who Cheat: It's Not About Sex, But Appreciation | Newsweek Culture | Newsweek.com

Really interesting article. Should be required reading.

On a related note, I once saw one of those "Is your husband cheating" articles on another forum. Seems it goes along in many psychological ways with the serious article above. I think it went like this:

1) Your husband starts wanting to spend more time at work.
2) Husband often has smells like someone else's perfume on clothing.
3) He starts to work out more than he has in the past.
4) Wants more intimacy but if you turn him down he just says "okay, no problem -- I understand".
5) Starts listening to totally different types of music. If he was into classic rock of the 70s and now starts listening to pop, dance or alternative rock he's likely with a much younger women. If he turns to country it's hard to tell and if he suddenly starts liking plays and listening to Barbara Streisand his new lover is a man.
6) Suddenly suggests totally different recreational activities or new places to dine out.
7) Vocabulary shifts.
8) Starts interests in totally different things than in the past.
9) Makes comments like Bill shouldn't be judged to harshly for cheating on Hillary -- especially if he's a hard-core Republican.
10) Encourages you to visit your out-of-town relatives way more than in the past.
11) Hides internet and telephone conversations.
12) More assertive and shows higher levels of confidence.



Yet in all fairness, a man could be doing some of these things and it doesn't necessarilly mean he is having an extramaritial affair.

#5 SkyWishes

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Posted 04 October 2008 - 05:03 PM

not to be negative about this but I dont feel good when I read these kinda things in magazines. It makes me think should we really be doubting our partner? how would we feel if our partner was doubting us? and it also makes me think, well heres Saten again trying to worm his way in and create worries to make a void between husband and wife. I am not completely ignorant some husbands do cheat on there wives, but I am sure, that these are man who are not close to God. You can not be close to God and at the same time be sinning as sinning takes you away from God.

#6 MorningStar

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Posted 04 October 2008 - 05:41 PM

What kind of appreciation? I appreciate my husband not cheating on me and I tell him that often.

1. hahahahaha - no
2. Nope, still smells like sawdust and sweat after work
3. No
4. again - hahahahahahaha
5. He does put my radio on the country station just to tick me off, but still listens to the same stuff he always has
6. He suggested we walk the opposite way we normally go on this one trail. I am scared. Oh, and the other day he suddenly wanted to eat at Wendy's. : O
7. Sometimes he says "dude" a lot and other days he doesn't. Oh noooooo ....
8. He just crocheted our kids some hats using yarn instead of the strips of flannel he normally uses. I better find a lawyer just in case.
9. Still hates Bill Clinton with a passion -check!
10. Uhhhhhh ..... No, never. Such mixed messages I'm getting here.
11. How would I know? He's hiding them!
12. He assertively and confidently tells me how much he dislikes Bill Clinton. Does that count?

Thank you for making all the women on the board paranoid. Really, cheaters almost always screw up so royally, we don't need to watch for signs.

#7 MichaelPAGuy

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Posted 04 October 2008 - 05:52 PM

Not to be nagative here, but why is it always men cheating on women? Women also cheat on men. Yet, you hardly hear about it or hear anyone talking about it.

#8 pam

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Posted 05 October 2008 - 12:04 AM

Yet in all fairness, a man could be doing some of these things and it doesn't necessarilly mean he is having an extramaritial affair.


I'd say it could possibly mean mid life crisis.

#9 jimuk

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Posted 05 October 2008 - 02:05 AM

Men Who Cheat: It's Not About Sex, But Appreciation | Newsweek Culture | Newsweek.com

Really interesting article. Should be required reading.

On a related note, I once saw one of those "Is your husband cheating" articles on another forum. Seems it goes along in many psychological ways with the serious article above. I think it went like this:

1) Your husband starts wanting to spend more time at work.
2) Husband often has smells like someone else's perfume on clothing.
3) He starts to work out more than he has in the past.
4) Wants more intimacy but if you turn him down he just says "okay, no problem -- I understand".
5) Starts listening to totally different types of music. If he was into classic rock of the 70s and now starts listening to pop, dance or alternative rock he's likely with a much younger women. If he turns to country it's hard to tell and if he suddenly starts liking plays and listening to Barbara Streisand his new lover is a man.
6) Suddenly suggests totally different recreational activities or new places to dine out.
7) Vocabulary shifts.
8) Starts interests in totally different things than in the past.
9) Makes comments like Bill shouldn't be judged to harshly for cheating on Hillary -- especially if he's a hard-core Republican.
10) Encourages you to visit your out-of-town relatives way more than in the past.
11) Hides internet and telephone conversations.
12) More assertive and shows higher levels of confidence.



For the females, dont start looking for these things in your husbands please, it will only bring sadness, you will see things that really are not there and will cause you to look at the husband you love with suspicion and mistrust, then things will start on a downward slope. if you look for these things then your trust for him will be gone.
Thats my view anyway.
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#10 Fiannan

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Posted 05 October 2008 - 06:44 AM

I'd say it could possibly mean mid life crisis.


Oh I realize that -- I believe the points in the article and I said that the other thing was from another forum and might be a bit more lighthearted. Well, all except the thing about listening to Barbara Streisand, if he starts this he may have found a boyfriend.:D
"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." - Sigmund Freud, General Introduction to Psychoanalysis

#11 Tough Grits

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Posted 05 October 2008 - 06:47 AM

Adultery is a serious issue.

My father's adultery tore my family apart when I was 12. I do not condemn my father for what happened. A choice was made, consequences were dealt. Even though I was young, I will never forget the pain it caused everybody, even my father. I could never do that to my little family. A sexual fling or encounter is not worth scarring my children, my husband, or myself for life. There is not a man alive worth shredding my life, my home, and my family apart for.

My husband's father did the same thing in their family. My husband was younger than me, and in some respects that was worse. Because my husband had to go more years without a father in the home than I did.

Both of us are scarred from the effects of adultery.

We are both intelligent people. We know that adultery is very real, and happens to all sorts of people, not just those who do not have religion in their lives.

I have enough sense to know that the grass is only greener when you are looking at it from the other side of the fence...but once you jump the fence and find out the truth, it is often too late to rectify your stupidity in jumping the fence in the first place.
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#12 MorningStar

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Posted 06 October 2008 - 11:37 AM

For the females, dont start looking for these things in your husbands please, it will only bring sadness, you will see things that really are not there and will cause you to look at the husband you love with suspicion and mistrust, then things will start on a downward slope. if you look for these things then your trust for him will be gone.
Thats my view anyway.


Thank you. I know women who are already paranoid about their husbands cheating even when there aren't any signs at all. My best friend's dad cheated on her mom for 35 years and that is her greatest fear, that her husband will cheat on her. Her mom was a wonderful wife to him in every way, so it was especially confusing as to why he would do that to her.

#13 Over43

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Posted 06 October 2008 - 12:19 PM

Good grief, can we change what we have for dinner on Sundays?

1) Your husband starts wanting to spend more time at work. SOMETIMES I GET HOME AT 5:00 INSTEAD OF 4:00 PM.

2) Husband often has smells like someone else's perfume on clothing. I ALWAYS SMELL LIKE POLO GREEN.

3) He starts to work out more than he has in the past. THIS DOESN"T LOOK GOOD SINCE I STARTED THE "JOGGING AGAIN" THREAD.

4) Wants more intimacy but if you turn him down he just says "okay, no problem -- I understand". WHAT ELSE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SAY? "RAIN CHECK?"

5) Starts listening to totally different types of music. If he was into classic rock of the 70s and now starts listening to pop, dance or alternative rock he's likely with a much younger women. If he turns to country it's hard to tell and if he suddenly starts liking plays and listening to Barbara Streisand his new lover is a man. HOLY POOP! I HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO DEAN MARTIN and FRANK SINATRA. (APPARENTLY I AM SEEING A SIGNIFICANTLY OLDER WOMAN.) THANK GOODNESS I THREW OUT THE SOUND TRACK TO "HELLO DOLLY"!

6) Suddenly suggests totally different recreational activities or new places to dine out. AS I HAVE AGED I HAVE HAD TO SWITCH PLACES TO DINE OUT DUE TO GASTRIC ISSUES. CERTAINLY A CHANGE FROM MEXICAN TO CHINESE ISN"T TOO CRUCIAL?

7) Vocabulary shifts. I STILL TALK STUPID.

8) Starts interests in totally different things than in the past. I"M HYPERACTIVE AND 44. THIS HAPPENS ON AN HOURLY BASIS.

9) Makes comments like Bill shouldn't be judged to harshly for cheating on Hillary -- especially if he's a hard-core Republican. BILL CLINTON IS A A SILLY GUY. HIS WIFE IS JUST AS SILLY.

10) Encourages you to visit your out-of-town relatives way more than in the past. ARE YOU KIDDING?

11) Hides internet and telephone conversations. I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO HIDE.

12) More assertive and shows higher levels of confidence. YES DEAR!

Jon

Edited by Over43, 06 October 2008 - 12:22 PM.

Hypochondriacs are their own terrorists.- From "More Die of Heartbreak" by Saul Bellow

#14 Fiannan

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Posted 06 October 2008 - 01:47 PM

Did anyone actually read the article I linked to at the beginning of the thread?

The article reminded me of the Johny Cash movie were he calls his wife all excited about something happening in his performance and his wife kinda ignores what he has to say. Eventually he drifts into an affiar with another woman.

It's a human need to be appreciated and for someone to show interest in their live's (both men and women). If people ignore that then chances are there are others who might not be so neglectful.
"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." - Sigmund Freud, General Introduction to Psychoanalysis

#15 Over43

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Posted 06 October 2008 - 01:52 PM

Did anyone actually read the article I linked to at the beginning of the thread?

The article reminded me of the Johny Cash movie were he calls his wife all excited about something happening in his performance and his wife kinda ignores what he has to say. Eventually he drifts into an affiar with another woman.

It's a human need to be appreciated and for someone to show interest in their live's (both men and women). If people ignore that then chances are there are others who might not be so neglectful.


Now that I do agree with. And no, I didn't read the article, just the 12 points listed. Sorry. :detective:

Jon
Hypochondriacs are their own terrorists.- From "More Die of Heartbreak" by Saul Bellow

#16 minifan

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Posted 07 October 2008 - 01:17 AM

wives do cheat and it hurts just as much for us as when a husband cheats. It's swept under the rug by the media. You'll never see a show on Oprah about women who cheat. My marrage fell aprat because of her infelidity.

Edited by minifan, 07 October 2008 - 01:25 AM.


#17 jimuk

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Posted 07 October 2008 - 02:24 AM

wives do cheat and it hurts just as much for us as when a husband cheats. It's swept under the rug by the media. You'll never see a show on Oprah about women who cheat. My marrage fell aprat because of her infelidity.


Yes they do cheat, i have only been cheated on three times lol, I am now happy to be my own person, keeping my home how i want it, cooking my own meals (yes i can cook lol ) i have children all grown up now, and i love them so very much. One of my boys is moving into my place for a while soon, he is 22yrs old and a good guy, i am looking forward to that.

And no i did not cheat not once, i must have just become boring lol.
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#18 RainofGold

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Posted 07 October 2008 - 11:47 AM

I'm just tired of reading threads about cheating and infidelity, and the whys.
I don't think there's ever a reason good enough that makes it okay to cheat. You could have the worst, meanest, cold hearted wife and still wouldn't make it okay to cheat. Is about you, the cheater, about your character, your integrity, and principles.



Is Cheating Ever Acceptable?


by lrh2310, May 19, 2008


Those in serious relationships or marriage probably have been tempted and may have wondered if they should go with another person just to see what it would be like. It isn't like it is going to hurt anyone especially if they don't get caught. Right? Well, this isn't so. Cheating is not recommended. There is a reason why it is called cheating. And you have heard the phrase once a cheater always a cheater. You don't want to prove this theory right, do you?

If you have any self respect or respect for all parties involved then you will say no to cheating. You can always make excuses that your friends are doing it or you know of many other people that do it all of the time and everything is still great in their lives. This just isn't so. You don't realize what comes along with cheating. If you cheat on your spouse you will find a large amount of guilt wallowing in your mind, body, and soul. You will begin to feel really guilty and may have a harder time looking at yourself in the mirror. If you are caught cheating you will not only hurt your spouse but your marriage as well. It may be over for you and if there are children then you may not see them as often or you will have to raise them mostly on your own. It won't be so easy to raise children on your own without a second person around to help out. It won't be easy not seeing your children either.

Other problems cheating may cause is transmitting sexual diseases. If your spouse suddenly ended up with herpes then chances are they are going to quickly realize you were probably having an affair. Aside from that, your spouse and you just caught something that will remain with you forever and for no reason.

You may have to face the issue of pregnancy. If you had an affair with a female she may become pregnant or if you had an affair with a male you can become pregnant. If you have a gay relationship outside your straight marriage you risk causing so many more problems to your relationship. This is an issue that needs to be addressed with yourself and then your spouse.

Cheating is never helpful or an answer to any problems you may be having in your relationship. You need to address the issues that are causing problems in your relationship. Let it be known that you are not happy and that you are tempted to go outside the marriage or relationship to receive the things you long for. A divorce is probably recommended or a split. Hurting people in more than emotional ways is not necessary when all you have to do is be honest.


Rainofgold
"To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest”

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