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Temple sealing cancellation questions


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#1 dstrahan

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Posted 24 August 2009 - 10:28 PM

My situation is kind of complicated (aren't they all?), but I was hoping some of you could help me know what to expect...

My first wife and I were married 14+ yrs and had 4 kids. She left and we divorced last year. There was misconduct on her part. She alleges abuse by me, but that is false. She married and divorced one guy within 9 weeks and then married husband #3 6 weeks after divorcing husband #2. I have also remarried since the divorce.

My wife was sealed to her first husband who passed away a few years ago and they had no kids. Husband #3 was sealed to his wife with 4 kids of their own.

I met with my bishop about the procedures in canceling my sealing, but was told I would have to wait at least a year, but it could take 5, 10 or 20 years before my sealing is canceled because we have kids involved.

Now, my ex-wife is trying to get sealed to her new husband in January, yet as of today, I have received no paperwork from the church about canceling my temple sealing. I would like to be sealed to my wife, but I'm not in a rush to do it faster than the church or First Presidency sees fit. I know it will work out in the Lord's time.

But here's my questions:

#1 - It's not possible for my sealing to be canceled without me filling out paperwork or being involved in the paperwork, is it?
#2 - I assume that it will take quite awhile to get the sealings sorted out and canceled. But it's not possible for a situation as complex as mine to get sorted out that quick, is it?
#3 - My ex-wife is going to accuse me of abuse (physical and mental). Those allegations aren't true, but does the validity of accusations matter when canceling a sealing? Or would I face any repercussions with the church because of her allegations?

Thanks. I haven't gone through this before and I just don't understand how it all works...

#2 Generally_Me

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Posted 25 August 2009 - 08:26 AM

#1-not to my knowledge
#2-By January? I doubt it. I've heard it CAN be that quick, but probably not in your case (kids and all).
#3-This is a toughy. Does she have police reports or trial records of any sort? I would think if you had been through the system and proved innocent, it wouldn't have any effect. In fact, to clear your name you might want to take her to court for slander.

You might want to ask your bishop about the abuse allegations and how they affect your standing in the church.

#3 dstrahan

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Posted 25 August 2009 - 08:46 AM

A little further information -

I've never been arrested, convicted or even had any abuse charges filed against me. Her talk of abuse didn't start until after she left our marriage. I have a current temple recommend (received it in May 2009), so I assume I have a decent standing in the church... ;)

#4 MrNirom

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Posted 25 August 2009 - 09:10 AM

My first wife and I were sealed in the Swiss Temple and had one child born in the covenant (BIC). After our divorce, she moved back to France.. found a new husband.. and wanted to get sealed to him. That became the appropriate time for the sealing to be annulled. Her bishop requested it.. I signed off on it.. and it was done. It did not take 1, 5 or 10 years.

If one is not replacing a sealing with another.. I believe it is taught that it is better to stay sealed to someone than no one... and it all "works" itself out in the end.

Because the children were (BIC) that does not change because of a divorce or an annulment of a sealing. The children are always sealed to you. (Yes.. depending upon your worthiness.. etc etc etc.) I am just saying that being given an annulment in no way reflects on the status of your children having been sealed to you.

Normally the only reason you would want an annulment is because you want to be sealed to another woman. And to be sealed to a new woman.. you have to be worthy. Any allegation that is made by your ex-wife of abuse.. would normally need to be "proved" in some way. And from what I have heard.. if the they "prove" it in civil or criminal court.. then it transfers over to the church court as well. But I know that your wife will have to give her permission for the sealing to be annulled because she will be without a sealing if she does approve.

The one question I can't answer is if anyone can be forced to have a sealing canceled. I mean if there are special circumstances that they would do it without her permission.
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#5 talisyn

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Posted 25 August 2009 - 06:18 PM

Why do you need your sealing to be removed? I can understand maybe your new wife but not yours.

#6 BenRaines

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Posted 25 August 2009 - 08:57 PM

As stated earlier, if you are a member of the church you are supposed to be contacted regarding a sealing cancellation when filed for by your ex. This allows you to answer any questions that have been raised. And if you have reasons to deny or request that a cancellation not be granted. In almost all cases the ex of whom the cancellation is being requested has no objection.

Ben Raines
"If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties." Sir Francis Bacon




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