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#1 carterg

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 04:59 AM

Hi, I am a member of Trowbridge Ward in the uk. I want to have myn wedding ceremony and reception at the chaple however alot of my family and my partners friends are not ldsd and drink does anyone know if we can serve alcohol in the cultural hall? Grace

#2 hordak

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 05:06 AM

Hi,

I am a member of Trowbridge Ward in the uk. I want to have myn wedding ceremony and reception at the chaple however alot of my family and my partners friends are not ldsd and drink does anyone know if we can serve alcohol in the cultural hall?

Grace


No you can't serve alcohol at the church.
"There are not enough general authorities to do all the thinking for the membership of the church." J. Golden Kimball


"I only teach the general rules. Whether an exception applies to you is your responsibility. You must work that out individually between you and the Lord." Elder Oaks

#3 carterg

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 05:11 AM

thank you

#4 Hemidakota

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 06:44 AM

Hi,

I am a member of Trowbridge Ward in the uk. I want to have myn wedding ceremony and reception at the chaple however alot of my family and my partners friends are not ldsd and drink does anyone know if we can serve alcohol in the cultural hall?

Grace


If you have an opporunity to be married in the temple, then wait.

#5 carterg

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 06:48 AM

In england we have to marry in the chaple before as temple weddings are not legal over here

#6 Hemidakota

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 06:50 AM

I forgot - sorry - but congrats on your new journey now since you are receiving the final mortal convenant, the Fullness of the Priesthood.

#7 carterg

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 06:53 AM

thank you, its just the dilemma of pleasing friends and family ie alcohol in the chaple

#8 WmLee

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 07:09 AM

1st, congrats on your wedding!! I didn't know that temple sealing were not considered a marriage there. Interesting!
With your invitations you might consider a small insert that reads something like, "Out of respect, no alcohol or smoking at the wedding or reception", and leave it at that. In no time people will know and understand that your standards for living are and what the church allows on it's property. Might just be a door opener for missionary work.


#9 Guest_Alana_*

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 07:25 AM

I've been to several receptions where there was no alcohol even though that was what most of the family members were used to. Everyone coped and it was fine. In fact, it was kind of pleasant to watch them 'suck it up' lol.

#10 hordak

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 07:26 AM

thank you, its just the dilemma of pleasing friends and family ie alcohol in the chaple


If it's a real problem you could hold the reception elsewhere after the wedding. Then again if your friends and family can't go 3-4 hours without drinking, it's time to call AA (alcoholics anonymous) or whatever you have in the UK.
"There are not enough general authorities to do all the thinking for the membership of the church." J. Golden Kimball


"I only teach the general rules. Whether an exception applies to you is your responsibility. You must work that out individually between you and the Lord." Elder Oaks

#11 Bini

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 07:51 AM

Congratulations! I would think most people would be willing to adhere to your wishes on your special day. I had the same dilemma when I got married. My parents and sister were the only LDS amongst his big family of non-members. But we didn't get too fancy and did a reception dinner out. Because my dad paid for the whole thing, he took us to a nice restaurant that didn't even serve alcohol, so it wasn't an issue at all. Smokers had to take an elevator down about 9 floors to make it outside for a smoke break. Everyone survived and nobody complained :]

No more dancing candy cane - hurrah!


#12 carterg

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 07:53 AM

lol i know i don't see the problem with no alcohol as i have always been a member but some of my partners friends would not think it was a very good wedding if they couldn't drink. We obviously understand that everyone is diffent etc and who are we to judge.

#13 Bini

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 08:27 AM

lol i know i don't see the problem with no alcohol as i have always been a member but some of my partners friends would not think it was a very good wedding if they couldn't drink. We obviously understand that everyone is diffent etc and who are we to judge.

Yeh it's not really about judging.. It's more about what she and her fiance want for their special day. If they request no drinking and smoking at their wedding/reception, their wishes should be respected, regardless of what anyone else feels or thinks.


Back to OP. Besides, this special day is about you and your SO - not your family or his family. It isn't about pleasing the masses. If you show your families how important this issue is to you, hopefully they'll be supportive and won't make much of a fuss. And if you're planning on going to the temple one day, following the Word of Wisdom, is just one of many life changing aspects that will be applied. So making decisions like this now are more important than letting them slide in fear of awkwardness or offending those that may not understand :]

No more dancing candy cane - hurrah!


#14 OneEternalSonata

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 08:35 AM

Its not so much a matter of "who are we to judge" as it is that we need to set the example as Church members. We should encourage people to live by Church standards by living them ourselves. However, I don't mean that we should forcibly do so. Often, if we compromise our standards to please others once we will be expected to again.

Edited by OneEternalSonata, 16 November 2009 - 03:30 PM.


#15 carterg

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 08:38 AM

i don't drink neither does my partner i can see where everyone is coming from though.

#16 pam

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 08:48 AM

It's also a matter of showing respect to the Lord's house. I also agree with Bini. It's your wedding, your reception. Others are just "guests."

#17 anatess

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 10:50 AM

I agree with Bini too. The thing is, this is just the first of many parties to come. It's good for your guests to understand this about you now - that your parties don't have alcohol. If they don't show up coz it doesn't seem like fun, then you have 2 choices - do without your friends there or bend over backwards for them. It's not about understanding or compromise or judgement. It's what you believe in. Now, if YOU go to your friend's reception and poo-poo them for having alcohol, or even not going to it because they serve alcohol, then I can see how that may be judgmental. After a wedding reception, then there would be Christmas parties, bday parties, all other parties in your house... maybe you're fine with serving alcohol in your house. But, maybe you can use this time to put forth your testmony of the WoW and set a standard.

#18 hordak

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 02:26 PM

I think some of you guys are taking this WoW thing over the top. It's one thing to set a good example ( I made this covenant and I keep it) but another to say I made this covenant you keep it whenever your with me. In this situation it isn't appropriate, nor allowed to serve alcohol in the church, but following the WoW doesn't mean you need to "make" others follow it. My wife doesn't cover her head when out with our neighbor, because she is a Muslim(the neighbor not my wife) she didn't make that covenant, or follow that religion. Sometimes i think the better example to set "Look how much fun Mildred is having and she hasn't touched a drop of Alcohol. I don't need anymore to drink" Rather then " Boy that Stan is in a messed up religion, not only does it say he can't drink, but his friends can't either" Don't get me wrong, that's not to say you can't have standards and enforce them but i don't want you to get the idea that your covenant means you have to make others follow them as well.
"There are not enough general authorities to do all the thinking for the membership of the church." J. Golden Kimball


"I only teach the general rules. Whether an exception applies to you is your responsibility. You must work that out individually between you and the Lord." Elder Oaks

#19 OneEternalSonata

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 03:37 PM

I agree, hordak. Encouraging others to follow standards shouldn't mean forcing them on others. By encourage I mean living the covenants we made, not telling them what to do. We shouldn't alienate people or look down on them for their beliefs. No need to hash out beliefs at every corner.

Sometimes i think the better example to set "Look how much fun Mildred is having and she hasn't touched a drop of Alcohol. I don't need anymore to drink"


Exactly what I'm intending to say.

Edited by OneEternalSonata, 16 November 2009 - 03:41 PM.


#20 Moksha

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Posted 16 November 2009 - 10:44 PM

"Look how much fun Mildred is having and she hasn't touched a drop of Alcohol. I don't need anymore to drink"


Posted Image

Mildred needs no alcohol...

:)
Jesus said, "The first in importance is, love the Lord God.'
And here is the second: 'Love others as well as you love yourself.'
There is no other commandment that ranks with these."


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