General Advice for Marital Problems (especially women)

[crazypotato]

Hello to Anyone with Marital Problems,

I just wanted to say that my marriage used to be sooo messed up and I didn't understand why, but mostly thought it was my husband's fault because he was not as churchy as me, etc. It's a long story and we had lots of legitimate problems and reasons to divorce.

Anyway, I have learned soo much from a book called "Fascinating Womanhood" by Helen Andelin. This book is either loved or hated by women. And it is very often attacked as a book on how to be a doormat to a male chauvinist pig. Can I just say that it is a wonderful book?! Helen Andelin was LDS, and she really prayed about this book while she was writing it. There used to be lots of women that would take Fascinating Womanhood classes, and now it is starting to pick up again online.

If you read the book, it will give hope to a lot of you that may have really crappy marriages, even infidelity, alcohol, and abuse. I know that sounds crazy, but it is true. There are testimonials at the end of each chapter of women who have turned around their marriages from miserable and doomed to fantastic! My marriage was always on the verge of divorce for years and we had lots of serious problems. When I finally humbled myself and read the book and really thought about it, and tried it, my marriage did a big turnaround.

The book is only telling women how to be Christlike, how men think so that you don't misinterpret them as a bunch of jerks, how to find joy in being a wife, mother and homemaker. So many of us women, even LDS, think that men are oppressive jerks that always want sex and never help with housework or kids. This book will enlighten you as to how being feminine is not bad, how most men are not the bad guys, and how if you treat someone great, they will treat you great too.

It all starts with the woman and is in your power, and it doesn't work for total jerks, but is worth a try, because maybe you just think your dh is a loser and he is not. Dr Laura would probably agree with a lot of it, but the book would not fully agree with her, either. The book is nondenominational but based on biblical ideals and it never advocates being a doormat or putting up with abuse.

I heavily recommend it to everyone I know. So many women refuse to read it or laugh it off as terribly sexist and pathetic, but give it a chance!

Any women out that with positive experiences from this book?

[annamaureen]

I haven't read it, and am not familar with it, but have heard good things.

[Guest mirancs8]

Yes I read the book years ago and some other books as well. Sure worked really great to take more of the abuse from my ex without falling apart but if he wasn't willing to change that book would do me no good.

Regarding the book yes it's excellent! I love the book. If I had a somewhat healthy marriage it would have only made the marriage so much better. If needing to do some serious work on yourself I absolutely recommend the book. Actually got the book for someone who was newly married and she got VERY offended that I would give that book to her (she basically assumed I was prepping her for a life as a slave to her husband ). But I would definitely recommend the book because it really can help you to be a wonderful and humble wife.

I also read the book "The Excellent Wife" which even has a workbook and that was also terrific. I think it's important to learn as much as you can to be the best wife you can to your husband but it has to be mutual.