Cancellation of Sealing Question

[Utahguy1980]

Thank you everyone for your input... here is what I have found out with my Stake President and Bishop. The only way a cancellation of sealing can take place is if my ex wife applies for this because she wants to get remarried in the Temple.

I spent hours yesterday on the phone with my girlfriend trying to explain the principle of why I'm not allowed to request a cancellation. If there was anyway possible I would ask for it. I spent the majority of yesterday in tears. I love my girlfriend more then I've ever loved anyone. The thought of losing her crushes me but I need her to have faith that the Lord will provide a way. If you could all keep us in your prayers I would appreciate it. I'm at a dead end right now.

[MobyMule]

Well I know for a fact in our Stake I've had 3 men get cancellations. They requested it. On the form or in the handbook it does not deny that to a Man. I feel like your Bishop and SP need to read the instructions instead of going by tradition. But that is just me. That being said if there were not major trangressions that led to the divorce it won't be granted.

[MarginOfError]

Well I know for a fact in our Stake I've had 3 men get cancellations. They requested it. On the form or in the handbook it does not deny that to a Man. I feel like your Bishop and SP need to read the instructions instead of going by tradition. But that is just me. That being said if there were not major trangressions that led to the divorce it won't be granted.

I have the handbook in front of me right now. It is quite clear that women may apply for a cancellation of sealing, and men may apply for a sealing clearance. The words "cancellation of sealing" are not once mentioned in reference to men.

Now, having clarified what is actually in the handbook, would you care to revise the bolded part of your statement?

[MobyMule]

I have the handbook in front of me right now. It is quite clear that women may apply for a cancellation of sealing, and men may apply for a sealing clearance. The words "cancellation of sealing" are not once mentioned in reference to men.

Now, having clarified what is actually in the handbook, would you care to revise the bolded part of your statement?

No because I have seen it and it has been approved. I'm saying it doesn't deny a Man from doing it. It is not prohibited. I am currently serving as the Man's Bishop and did the paperwork.

[MarginOfError]

I feel like your Bishop and SP need to read the instructions instead of going by tradition.

But alas, you claim that everyone else's stake presidents and bishops need to read the instructions and stop going by tradition, and have now stated that you do not feel a need to edit that claim. All this despite the fact that I have double checked the instructions, and nowhere do they state that men may apply for a cancellation of sealing. So, if you go by what's in the instructions, you would tell a man that he may apply for a sealing clearance, not a cancellation.

Are you content to just be wrong? Cause I'm okay with you being wrong. I just wanted to give you a chance to be right.

[MobyMule]

But alas, you claim that everyone else's stake presidents and bishops need to read the instructions and stop going by tradition, and have now stated that you do not feel a need to edit that claim. All this despite the fact that I have double checked the instructions, and nowhere do they state that men may apply for a cancellation of sealing. So, if you go by what's in the instructions, you would tell a man that he may apply for a sealing clearance, not a cancellation.

Are you content to just be wrong? Cause I'm okay with you being wrong. I just wanted to give you a chance to be right.

And I'm saying that it isn't prohibited. It has been done. I do instruct what the Handbook says. If they ask if they can get one I say for them to ask the SP or request it. Why would the Church approve a Man's request if it wasn't allowed? What I'm saying is it allowed maybe it isn't a normal procedure but like I said earlier unless there was major trangression involed by the woman it won't be granted.

If it was not allowed at all it would state it.

[Wingnut]

And I'm saying that it isn't prohibited. It has been done.

Well, murder has been done, too, but that doesn't mean that it's not prohibited.

(An extreme comparison, yes, but it illustrates the ridiculity of the argument.)

[MobyMule]

Well, murder has been done, too, but that doesn't mean that it's not prohibited.

(An extreme comparison, yes, but it illustrates the ridiculity of the argument.)

You can guys can call me wrong all you want. I'm fine with it. I'm only letting you know that it has been approved. These things go to way above me. If it was not allowed they would not be granted. But they were.

Again I'm not saying it's normal or regular. I'm just saying that it isn't a procedure that is prohibited. Again it takes alot of evidence of transgression. If that is this mans situation I was just sharing my experience with him. Whether or not his local leaders will allow him to even request it is not my decison.

[MarginOfError]

And I'm saying that it isn't prohibited. It has been done. I do instruct what the Handbook says. If they ask if they can get one I say for them to ask the SP or request it. Why would the Church approve a Man's request if it wasn't allowed? What I'm saying is it allowed maybe it isn't a normal procedure but like I said earlier unless there was major trangression involed by the woman it won't be granted.

If it was not allowed at all it would state it.

You don't seem to get it. You're railing against bishops and stake presidents who don't read the instructions. But the instructions are clear about who may apply for what. If you read the instructions, then you would advise a brother to apply for a sealing clearance. I want you to explain to me how exactly you can reconcile your statement that doing so is not reading the instructions.

[MobyMule]

You don't seem to get it. You're railing against bishops and stake presidents who don't read the instructions. But the instructions are clear about who may apply for what. If you read the instructions, then you would advise a brother to apply for a sealing clearance. I want you to explain to me how exactly you can reconcile your statement that doing so is not reading the instructions.

Maybe I don't but the issue is can a Man request a Sealing Cancellation. I see nothing on page 85 of the CHI that indicate he can not. In fact it appears to me to be at the discretion of the SP and Bishop.

The only clear instruction is for a sealing to take place there must be a clearance for a man and a cancellation for a woman. No mention that a cancellation for the man can not be done.

I will print the form out Wednesday night and read the instructions again to see what the fine print says since I don't have that with me.

Again I think it is wrong to state for a fact that a man can't request it. Nothing says a request can't be made. Of couse the clearance is first. I will double check but again If I was wrong in the 2 cases I have been apart of then It wouldn't have got past my SP. He interviewed and looked at the application of these brethern.

[Utahguy1980]

Perhaps instead of people arguing on here about the church handbook you could give me some advice on how to explain to my girlfriend that just because I am sealed to my ex wife does it mean I will end up with her. She has only been active in the church a little over a year and this is hard for her to explain. Perhaps any woman out there that have had to deal with this could help?

[Finrock]

Good afternoon All! I hope everyone is doing well. :)

I'm afraid a request from you to have your previous sealing canceled will not be met with much cooperation. Current policy states that men who have been previously sealed must receive a sealing clearance before they can be sealed to another woman. Women, on the other hand, may only be sealed to one man (at a time) in their lifetime and must have a cancellation of sealing before being sealed to another man. The Church is not likely to grant you a cancellation of sealing until your ex-wife applies for one so that she may be sealed to another man.

There are very good reasons for this, however, as the sealing is an essential ordinance, and the Church takes very seriously the cancellation of these ordinances. The Sealing ordinance is accompanied with covenants and promises that the Lord desires men and women to have in this life, and a cancellation of sealing would deny your ex-wife of those covenants and promises when she chooses to live by the commandments.

Your current girlfriend's insistence that your sealing be canceled indicates to me a fundamental misunderstanding of the doctrines pertaining to the Sealing ordinance. I would also describe her actions as selfish, unforgiving, and un-Christlike. She should probably sit down with someone and get a good explanation of what the Sealing is and why the Church is unlikely to grant you a cancellation.

Before you can be sealed again, you will need to apply for a sealing clearance. Your bishop can help you there.

I feel that this post by MarginOfError needs to be reiterated. In my experience I've seen that many members of the Church do not fully understand what the sealing is and what MarginOfError pointed out is extremely important to know. Quite often in the Church being married in the temple and being sealed are viewed as synonymous events. In reality, two essential things are going on. First, a couple is sealed to each other in the "being married" sense, for time and for all eternity. Second, both the husband and the wife receive the sealing blessing which is tied to their individual righteousness as opposed to what they do as a couple. So often it seems that people in the Church only see the "marriage" part of the sealing but do not understand that the sealing, as MarginOfError points out, pronounces certain promises and blessings to the individuals involved that are independent of the marriage.

Except in conditions of unrepented serious sins, it would be unjust for the Church to remove the sealing (with its promises and blessings) from a woman. And as has been stated, if this condition doesn't exist, then it is highly unlikely that the Church will cancel the ex-wife's sealing. It simply doesn't make sense.

To the OP: My advice is that once you understand the sealing and have a testimony of it, lovingly teach your fiance so that she too can understand it. Pray for help so that you can teach by the power of the Holy Ghost. I think when your fiance understands the sealing correctly, she will likely agree that it isn't the sensible or right thing to demand of you.

Regards,

Finrock

[marts1]

Not very many are going to make it high enough in the celestial kingdom for this sealing to have any effect let alone two seperate devorced people. If your x had any desire enough to live such a way, she would be asking you for it to be canceled so she could be sealed to her new husband, in which case all would be fine with your girlfriend.

[Maureen]

Perhaps instead of people arguing on here about the church handbook you could give me some advice on how to explain to my girlfriend that just because I am sealed to my ex wife does it mean I will end up with her. She has only been active in the church a little over a year and this is hard for her to explain. Perhaps any woman out there that have had to deal with this could help?

Utahguy1980, maybe make an appt for you and your fiance with your Bishop or SP and/or RS President (female representation) and they can help you explain to her why the sealing cancellations are processed the way they are.

M.

[Maureen]

Not very many are going to make it high enough in the celestial kingdom for this sealing to have any effect let alone two seperate devorced people. If your x had any desire enough to live such a way, she would be asking you for it to be canceled so she could be sealed to her new husband, in which case all would be fine with your girlfriend.

From what the OP has told us, it is he that wants to remarry and not his ex-wife. His ex cannot really apply until remarriage is in the picture for her.

M.

[MobyMule]

Perhaps instead of people arguing on here about the church handbook you could give me some advice on how to explain to my girlfriend that just because I am sealed to my ex wife does it mean I will end up with her. She has only been active in the church a little over a year and this is hard for her to explain. Perhaps any woman out there that have had to deal with this could help?

I apologize and yes I believe a joint appt. with the Bishop/SP would be appropriate.

[marts1]

From what the OP has told us, it is he that wants to remarry and not his ex-wife. His ex cannot really apply until remarriage is in the picture for her.

M.

I knew that.

[Utahguy1980]

Finrock thank you for your post. My situation is very complicated... I'm American, my girlfriend is English. She just moved to New Zealand for Med School and I'm joining her on Wednesday there. I'm hoping the Bishop and Stake President there can help explain to her what the sealing really is. Ideally I'm hoping another woman perhaps the Relief Society President can help her to understand.

[annamaureen]

Perhaps instead of people arguing on here about the church handbook you could give me some advice on how to explain to my girlfriend that just because I am sealed to my ex wife does it mean I will end up with her. She has only been active in the church a little over a year and this is hard for her to explain. Perhaps any woman out there that have had to deal with this could help?

It definitely makes sense that it would upset her since she's fairly new to all this. It's easy for many us to have doctrinal debates about the meaning of sealings but for her, she's just thinking of you being married to another woman and, understandably, doesn't like it! I don't think she's selfish or insecure at all. As others have said, it would be a good idea to discuss with with a bishop so she can learn more.

[Guest mirancs8]

Perhaps instead of people arguing on here about the church handbook you could give me some advice on how to explain to my girlfriend that just because I am sealed to my ex wife does it mean I will end up with her. She has only been active in the church a little over a year and this is hard for her to explain. Perhaps any woman out there that have had to deal with this could help?

I hope you don't mind me asking but what is it exactly that she has a problem with? When she brings up the issues what exactly is her points as to why it's a problem that you are still sealed to your ex-wife?

[Utahguy1980]

I hope you don't mind me asking but what is it exactly that she has a problem with? When she brings up the issues what exactly is her points as to why it's a problem that you are still sealed to your ex-wife?

She says she is wants to feel special. She doesn't want to leave it to chance that my ex and I won't be together... Mostly I think she is afraid of sharing me... Fact is I can hardly handle one woman let alone two! lol

[Guest mysticmorini]

She says she is wants to feel special. She doesn't want to leave it to chance that my ex and I won't be together... Mostly I think she is afraid of sharing me... Fact is I can hardly handle one woman let alone two! lol

Perhaps that should be a red flag. if she is so insecure as to be afraid of being shared with a women you want nothing to do with.

[Wingnut]

She says she is wants to feel special.

The fact that you want to marry her doesn't make her feel special?

[FunkyTown]

The fact that you want to marry her doesn't make her feel special?

WHOAH! I can't understand the hostility towards his girlfriend, who's only been in the church for a year and a half.

Here's what she thinks, 'Sure, I'll have him all to myself now, but what about after death? Could this girl sneak in? What would happen then?'

I say, go through and cancel the sealing. Cancel it like a subscription to High Times Magazine when you found out it didn't have anything to do with piloting an aircraft.

[Finrock]

Good morning FunkyTown! How's it going? :)

WHOAH! I can't understand the hostility towards his girlfriend, who's only been in the church for a year and a half.

Here's what she thinks, 'Sure, I'll have him all to myself now, but what about after death? Could this girl sneak in? What would happen then?'

I say, go through and cancel the sealing. Cancel it like a subscription to High Times Magazine when you found out it didn't have anything to do with piloting an aircraft.

I agree that any type of hostility towards the OP's fiance is uncharitable. I can also understand her perspective if she does not understand the Sealing ordinance correctly.

However, please see post #18 and post #37. Even if the OP could cancel his ex-wife's sealing (which he cannot), it is hardly the OP's place or any individual's place, for that matter, to simply nullify a person's sealing ordinance with it's promises and blessings.

Regards,

Finrock