Sleepover?

[MarginOfError]

Actually, I did address the issue about official Church policy in the very first response on this thread.

I know of no policy forbidding sleep overs, except that over night activities are not to be held in church buildings (there are some modifiers to this, but I left my handbook at the chapel, so I can't look them up right now).

[MarginOfError]

I'm not saying anything you said is inaccurate. I'm sure it is quite correct. And your comparison makes sense. But, what can be PERCEIVED from your data is that 80% of men are molestors.....I know that's not what you're saying but that's what the perception is.

As long as we're talking about probability....line up 100 men. Chances are that, at the most, 1 of them is a child molester. Even though they are 4 times more likely than a woman, the are MOST CERTAINLY NOT likely at all. But you've lumped them all into that stereotype by an incredibly small sample of the population. It's over the top.

Again, I don't want to diminish the gravity of molestation and certainly parents should be aware and involved with those which their children are exposed. But labeling every man a potential molester based on the very, very low probability that they actually are is quite insulting. That is the impression I get from your justification. Maybe that's just my perception, but that's what I took away from your post.

It would take a very, very poor understanding of basic probability to obtain the perception that you claim my statement provides. The perception you present requires redefining the sample space. My experience has been that reasonably intelligent adults can tell the difference.

[ADoyle90815]

Most child molesters are males who are known to the child and family, whether that person is a family member or a friend of the family, clergy, or even a babysitter. Still, I think it's unfair to lump every man as a potential pedophile, as most men don't molest children. It's especially sad that men who would be excellent teachers often decide on a different career because they want to avoid being falsely accused of molestation. We've had witch hunts before where day care workers were falsely accused of molestation, and I would hate to see something like that happen again. Even if someone is able to prove their innocence when it comes to molestation, they have a difficult time repairing their reputation.

[NeuroTypical]

A lot of different things getting jumbled together here.

I think it's unfair to lump every man as a potential pedophile

No argument there - life is full of all sorts of unfairness. But until I'm able to read minds and righteously judge hearts, I won't really be able to tell. So, avoiding risk it is!

It's especially sad that men who would be excellent teachers often decide on a different career because they want to avoid being falsely accused of molestation. We've had witch hunts before where day care workers were falsely accused of molestation, and I would hate to see something like that happen again.

Well, identifying risks is not the same thing as falsely accusing people. By definition, a risk is something that has a chance of occuring - not a claim that it has occurred. I haven't seen anyone here make any accusations about men.

Even if someone is able to prove their innocence when it comes to molestation, they have a difficult time repairing their reputation.

Well again, there's no such thing as having innocence proven. You're found 'not guilty' - meaning there wasn't sufficient evidence of guilt. But yeah, I see what you're saying. Allegations often harm a reputation, whether the allegations are founded or not.

LM

[lizzy12]

My mom was raped at a sleepover and her rules are (no matter if there members of the church or not). This rules are not only for safety from rapist but from peer pressure as well.

- She meets the parents before the actual sleepover (usually by them coming over to sleepover at out house first)

-she meets the friend

-She call's other girls parents who will attend the sleepover and they discuss if its safe and their impressions

-they sleep over at our house instead (this depends on if for some reason things didn't groove)

-we establish a secret password..if something happens that makes me uncomfortable I call and Apologize for not putting the "grapes in the fruit salad." and she comes to pick me up

-if something illegal is occurring and i can not call the police (such as rape.) I call her and say "The beans are in the pullout drawer" She then call's the police.

-everyone in my family (and just my intermediate family..we don't share it with out friends or ward members.) know the passwords. They stay the same forever.

Never before have I needed to use the passwords however there once was a sleepover where the adult was missing a bit of something and was kind of crazy and although my mom wanted me to celebrate my friends birthday so she came along and spent the night :)

These rules never before have seemed over dramatic in the least and although I may never have been in a situation I'm glad we have passwords and such.

Just be careful with those in your ward. A child molester ( we actually have a few in out ward) was somehow put into a primary position and the whole ward knew but kept there mouth shut for some stupid reason. We moved here and heard and immediately informed the Bishop who knew but for some reason did'nt do anything in the past. My mom threw a fit and now he barley comes to church. Was it wrong ? I don't think so. He would eye these kids (my sister especially) in the creepest way. If he's not active on our account...well honesty I couldn't care less.

The others who come are carefully watched.....If he even talks to a child..BAM an adult requests him to keep to himself. Are we over reacting ? Do they deserve this treatment ? I would say we aren't over reacting...but do they deserve it....well I would rather someone be rude then a child be harmed.

[Snow]

Thank you all very much for your personal opinions which I appreciate, but what I was actually asking was if anyone cantell me if the Church has an official policy regarding sleepovers.

Yes - you can find it right next to the Church's official policy on radial tires and their official policy on flying coach.

On a related note: do you know if the Church has an official protocol on flossing?

[Guest mysticmorini]

Yes - you can find it right next to the Church's official policy on radial tires and their official policy on flying coach.

On a related note: do you know if the Church has an official protocol on flossing?

i can appreciate your point but, the manner in which you have presented it is a little uncalled for.

[Blackmarch]

Not sure where I should ask this. I couldn't find a section for Young Women questions.

Can someone tell me what is the church stance on sleepovers now? In the past the Young Women have had sleepovers at the homes of leaders but has this been banned now?

I think that's a stake or ward level decision rather than a churchwide one. I recall there being another thread on this subject.

I also can't think of anything where such was endorsed on a churchwide level. so i imagine that the yea or nay will remain on the stake/ward level.

[Elgama]

Just be careful with those in your ward. A child molester ( we actually have a few in out ward) was somehow put into a primary position and the whole ward knew but kept there mouth shut for some stupid reason. We moved here and heard and immediately informed the Bishop who knew but for some reason did'nt do anything in the past. My mom threw a fit and now he barley comes to church. Was it wrong ? I don't think so. He would eye these kids (my sister especially) in the creepest way. If he's not active on our account...well honesty I couldn't care less.

The others who come are carefully watched.....If he even talks to a child..BAM an adult requests him to keep to himself. Are we over reacting ? Do they deserve this treatment ? I would say we aren't over reacting...but do they deserve it....well I would rather someone be rude then a child be harmed.

I agree it was a member of our branch that abused my daughter (it wasn't sexual but nasty), because people won't speak out that person is still Primary President and we are the ones that are inactive