Latter day saint funerals

[Lilac]

I read the article and it was very informative. Thanks for posting it.

I gotta say, my mom was a Christian woman and not vain at all.

I really don't think (had she been LDS) that she would've wanted anyone seeing how badly the cancer ravaged her frail body. Anyone who has lost a loved one to cancer knows how brutal the disease is from your hair falling out, to extreme weight loss, her dental work eventually came out, her finger nails turned all brown from the chemo drugs and the list goes on. She was on chemo for four years straight and it was harsh.

I think my mother would've wanted me to remember her when she was happy and health and smiling. I would've done it for her gladly but SHE wanted her dignity, I guess?

In fact, we only had an open coffin for immediate family only. She requested it closed so people could remember her healthy and smiling and not stand and talk about the dreadful cancer that claimed her life.

For her, she would've wanted her privacy, even in death.

Any thoughts on that?

[bytebear]

I think whether you want to dress someone in their temple clothes, or just put the pouch containing the clothes in the coffin, it doesn't really matter. The church is very flexible on the wishes of the deceased and the family.

I do know how helpful the church is though. When my dad was in his last days, he wanted to die in his home town of Springville, Utah. My parents had retired in St. George and so they literally moved into a house sight unseen in Sprinville a week before he passed. They hadn't even attended church yet at their new ward.

So, I called the local bishop and left a message explaining the situation. "Hi, my mom just moved into the ward, and now we have to plan a funeral for my dad who just passed." Well the wheels of community spun up fast and the Bishop and the Relief Society president had arranged everything without us lifting a finger. I was amazed at all that was done, from meals at home and at the service, to calling relatives and getting everyone there. It was absolutely amazing seeing this ward help my mom who had never met any of them.

My mom has since moved but she still is in close contact with those in that ward who were so kind to her. I will never be able to repay their generosity, love and compassion.

[mordorbund]

One other practice that we have is dedicating the grave. A simple prayer is said over the deceased's final resting place.

[Elphaba]

So, I asked my mother today what her wishes were with regard to me being there, and she said she would like me to be.

She said that when her mother died (1998) it didn't occur to her to dress her, so she was a bit surprised by my question. She's going to ask her Relief Society president about the protocols of it all.

So, now I know her wishes, with the understanding that if it's not allowed I would completely understand and abide by that.

Elphaba