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Would You Date a Guy Like Me?

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#21 JudoMinja


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Posted 02 March 2011 - 12:22 PM

Would I date a guy like you? Right now? No. In the past? Maybe. Defining the line between casual and serious dating can be difficult sometimes. Casual dating is typically geared toward the teenage years, because teenagers are not yet ready to be making marriage decisions but should be spending time getting to know others of the opposite gender and identifying traits they like/dislike. Typically, once people reach the "adult" age, though, dating ceases being casual and becomes serious. At this point, people are in it for finding a marriage partner. Many non-members continue "casual" dating even in to the adult years, but typically these people do not have the same outlook on relationships that members do. A typical non-member in today's society believes in "living it up" and letting relationships "figure themselves out" over time. As such, they tend to take what they can get out of a relationship and see whether or not it all falls into place. Members (or at least members serious about the gospel and seeking temple marriage) look at things differently. Once we are ready to look for a marriage partner, we no longer date for "fun". We are dating in order to find someone we'd be willing to spend eternity with. So if someone isn't as equally serious about the gospel, we typically will not date said person, as having even a casual relationship could cause feelings to blossom over time, and it is better to make sure those feelings do not blossom with someone who cannot or will not go to the temple.

#22 JanSan


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Posted 12 March 2011 - 10:33 PM

As a mature woman looking back on life.. if this girl is happy in the church and wants it to be in her life, then I hope that she would not date you. I say this not out of meaness but out of experience. I was married to a man who had a serious accident and lost 3 years of memory from it. He went to work that day a healthy happy LDS man married to me, he woke up thinking he was married to his ex and that he was of another religious faith. We had been married in the temple and he lost all memory of this. We stayed married for 13 year before getting a divorce, but we were able to remain friends. It was sooooooooooooo hard, going to church alone, going to the temple alone, not having the example of a good LDS honorable priesthood holder in my home for my boys. It hurt so much... If you can save this girl you think is so special that you want to date her from this pain.. then I hope that you are man enough to it!

#23 ZorabelMay



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Posted 03 August 2011 - 07:47 PM

You don't need someone for "dating". You need a friend a true friend. I can be that.

#24 Kindan


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Posted 03 August 2011 - 09:45 PM

I fell for a beautiful, mysterious, happy, confident girl - who had no interest in me romantically. I asked the question, what would it take for me to attract a girl like her? .... long story short, as I got to know her and realized what she was looking for, I began to read the Book of Mormon and began my conversion. I'm married to someone else, not the girl I mentioned above. But maybe what you like about this girl comes from the way she lives her life.

#25 mehamgul101


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Posted 15 October 2011 - 04:36 AM

i don,t think so

#26 TheJosmo


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Posted 21 March 2012 - 01:31 PM

You might have more luck with less-active girls. But I disagree with Bini on the subject of "casual" dating. I'm only starting to date and I think it would be stupid for me to look for an Eternal Companion right now. An inexperienced dweeb such as myself is not ready wise or skilled enough to take on such a responsibility as marriage. Hanging Out is an important stage for people preparing for spouse-hunting.

#27 ReynaRosa



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Posted 23 March 2012 - 02:52 PM

lds church shouldn't be a meat market for marriage, people have the wrong concept of real lds members that are non active members..so to answer your question, yes you are intitled to dating other christians of good sound mind and vice versa...but remember that you will be tested.

#28 clarissa


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Posted 30 April 2012 - 04:12 PM

You may be a good guy with good intentions, but an LDS girl wants to marry a man that she will be with for eternity because she will love him enough to want to share forever with him and him only. If you are not living according to the standards that qualify you for the Temple and eternal marriage, how can you expect a girl to date you, knowing that she could fall in love with you but then face the pain of knowing that your union would not last forever? I really hope that doesn't come across as offensive, that isn't my intention. Just try to see it from our perspective. Another thing, an LDS girl wants a guy who doesn't look at porn. I have no idea if that is a problem for you or not, but before you EVER decide to seriously date a girl, make sure that porn is not a part of your life. It will destroy a girl's life in so many ways if the guy she is with looks at porn. Believe me, that is HUGE. Live the standards of the Church and be your best self so that you can deserve the woman of your dreams.

#29 sarah123


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Posted 08 June 2012 - 08:31 AM

No. Absolutely not. Leave her alone. Don't drag her down just because you think she is cute. I am not trying to be mean but trust me, it is easier to drag someone down then to lift someone up. If she is anything like me (a very strong and active member) she will not date you. And yes, every good LDS girl is looking to get married in the temple and I mean EVERY good LDS girl.

#30 BrendaM


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Posted 09 July 2012 - 11:10 AM

1. Yes, EVERY LDS girl who lives the Gospel wants a Temple Marriage with her eternal companion. 2. Should you persue an LDS girl who lives the Gospel even though you don't. Sure, as long as you are up front about your intentions. 3. She, however, will probably be counseled to stay away from you. 4. Even us more "mature" ladies will not date anyone who cannot take us to the Temple.

#31 shdwlkr


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Posted 27 July 2012 - 09:15 AM

I am very late to this thread and I am a guy but I can relate to what many of the sisters have said here. I will not marry someone who will not be able to walk in the temple with me, is not active in the church, doesn't want to read and talk about the scriptures, doesn't want to have an eternal relationship. Now at my age that means I might find someone who is already sealed to another and all we have is this life and that is fine as how do I know if that is what it will be in heaven, that it is not why I am here and in love with this person to make sure she gets back to the one she is sealed too. I want someone to attend church activities with, someone who will want to be with me and most of all someone I can love and enjoy being with. When we are young we never think of what life will be like for us 40 years or more down the road. Life has handed me some real challenges. My first wife was murdered, the second dumped me after 20 years she found I was a good bank to withdraw from, the third well after 6 years lets say she decided she could do better than me and started looking while still married to me. So my standards are much higher this time around and with small kids and being shall we say on the older side of the scale of life few want to enter my world. You should read some of the comments I have gotten back. Some are this if you get rid of your kids we could maybe become friends, I raised my kids and will not raise other kids, I raised my kids now it is me time and the list goes on. The funny part is I have yet to find in the scriptures when we are free to not be parents to small children. The Lord put those small souls in my path for a reason and I accept that. If you are a true LDS lady then you already know that the Lord has plans that may not be what we think should be our plans at any stage of our life. As to you dating a good LDS sister and having no intention of returning I would tell her to stay away from you because there is a good chance you will end in divorce, then if there are kids it will be a heart break for you and them. Think long and hard before entering into this "casual Dating" with a good LDS sister as they are looking for an eternal companion and you quite frankly don't make it to the first step on the ladder of what it is to be an eternal companion material.

#32 ArcticTofu


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Posted 14 October 2012 - 08:45 AM

Dear Zack, as a man I personally just see that you are not putting forth effort to make yourself interesting ... at least with the mindset you have. If you know what the common criterias are, you better work yourself over. you are either a mormon or you are not. The pladies previously pointed a lot of things out. however, if you were her, don´t you think she might be looking for someone who is her personal mainstream with the "mainstream" values ? you know pretty good that the temple along with eternal marriage is mostly deeply ingrained. I converted three years ago and I live in germany, bad enough I am not born in the church here because they seem to put a lot of stock into it, what really disqualifies me, was that I couldnt go on a mission. rm´s are highly sought for and I already been told I belong on the ysa scrap yard. in any case, looking it that way... why do you think, it might be remotely possible for you in your current mindset and lifestyle , that you could be considered at all if not out of curiosity or friendship ? anyway, what did you do, to make yourself even remotely interesting enough in case it goes into a mid term or longterm relationship ? if you are a looking for a fling or anything similarly flimsey than you would be quite the masochist to even have yourself bashed against the wall. instead of wondering if someone would date you, you should rather wonder what you can do to gain a testimony for your own sake and not for the purpose of dating. that is, if you still believe

#33 pam


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Posted 14 October 2012 - 08:49 AM

I'm kind of thinking since the OP hasn't been to the site in a year, he probably isn't needing our thoughts any more. Therefore I'm closing the thread.

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