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The Impact of Pornography on families


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#41 annewandering

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 10:40 PM

you need to talk to someone now. an online support group maybe.
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#42 x1134x

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Posted 10 September 2012 - 03:50 PM

The solution to a masturbating to pornography addiction is to address the root cause. Pornography did not reach out, grab you, put a gun to your head and make you view it. It is not responsible. There was a hole in your heart, or a problem in your life that you decided to use pornography to try to soothe. You may not even be concious of the issue yet. Therapy can help. I'd suggest starting off reading a book called No More Mr Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover. Do not let the name of the book fool you. It is a great book at getting to the heart of guy's issues. It focuses on childhood issues such as abandonment, neglect, abuse, etc and shows you how these issues manifest themselves in acting out behaviors like compulsive pornography/masturbation and presenting yourself as something different than you are to garner attention from women. It also gives you a roadmap to fix the issue(s). Secondly for those who are married AND those who are not, after reading No More Mr Nice Guy, get the Married Man Sex Life Primer by Athol Kay. This should be REQUIRED reading for all males to graduate high school. It is marriage oriented and NOTHING in it is contrary to the teachings of the church. It has sections about choosing a mate that could be critical to those who have yet to get married, and plenty of help for those who are already married. Once you have a HEALTHY outlook on sex, and aren't using sex and orgasms to medicate yourself from other pains, and especially after having entered into a HEALTHY sexual relationship with a partner who also has a HEALTHY outlook on their sexuality, the pornography and masturbation problems WILL disappear. You don't have to "control" any urge, they NEVER happen. Ignore people who say "I've been married for X years and still have a pornography problem. They do not have a HEALTHY sexual relationship nor a HEALTHY outlook on their sexuality. They have not addressed the root cause. Pornography usage and masturbation are SYMTOMS of a deeper issue. You have to deal with the deeper issue, or like a weed you simpy break off at the surface of the ground, the still living roots will simply grow another plant.

Edited by x1134x, 10 September 2012 - 03:53 PM.


#43 Rabboni

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Posted 15 September 2012 - 01:36 AM

Pornography is a problem. However, it is not an excuse to divorce your spouse, any more than your spouse having a drinking or smoking problem is an excuse to divorce your spouse. These are problems to be worked on, not a reason to end your marriage. And certainly not a reason to remarry someone else instead of trying to reconcile.

#44 Misshalfway

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Posted 15 September 2012 - 06:57 AM

Pornography is a problem.

However, it is not an excuse to divorce your spouse, any more than your spouse having a drinking or smoking problem is an excuse to divorce your spouse.

These are problems to be worked on, not a reason to end your marriage. And certainly not a reason to remarry someone else instead of trying to reconcile.


An "excuse"? Sounds like you have the attitude that people should stay married no matter what.

What direct experience do you have with being married to someone who is addicted to pornography? Addicted to alcohol? Someone who is unwilling/unable to change?

It's not that I don't value marriage or that I think people ought to bail at the first sign of trouble. But I do feel that divorce is sometimes the best solution.

#45 Rabboni

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Posted 15 September 2012 - 02:05 PM

An "excuse"? Sounds like you have the attitude that people should stay married no matter what.

What direct experience do you have with being married to someone who is addicted to pornography? Addicted to alcohol? Someone who is unwilling/unable to change?

It's not that I don't value marriage or that I think people ought to bail at the first sign of trouble. But I do feel that divorce is sometimes the best solution.


Based on what I've read of the advice you've given to many different people on this forum, you appear to feel that frequently.

#46 pam

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Posted 15 September 2012 - 03:33 PM

Based on what I've read of the advice you've given to many different people on this forum, you appear to feel that frequently.


So..you are brand new to the site..and you think you are already familiar enough with what she has said to respond in this way? Unless of course you are a reincarnation of a poster that is no longer with us.

#47 candi198

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Posted 01 May 2013 - 01:13 AM

You are so right. how well put.

#48 Lakumi

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Posted 01 May 2013 - 08:16 AM

I think, at least for me as a young teen it was there because of lonelyness. I got bored of it by time I hit my 20s. I always, to myself said I would get rid of it all, if I met someone and was in a relationship but at 24 I've never been in any relationship so... but it outgrew its usefulness, to me, long ago and I am fine with being alone. It is just a reminder of a bygone age to me

Edited by Lakumi, 06 May 2013 - 07:52 PM.


#49 Ulder

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Posted 14 May 2013 - 11:31 AM

i installed the K9 filter few weeks ago and havent had any relaps yet. The thing with Pornography is that it is so easy to find that you almost dont think about it as a sin, it becomes a everyday thing, just a mouseclick away - but if you make it harder, more difficult to find, by setting up obstacles, blocking porn, and setting passwords for blocked content, etc - then you soon lose interest, becasue it is too difficult and too much job to find porn - man is a lazy animal, if its too difficult to get something - meh, nevermind then! i can really recommend K9 filter!




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