Posted 16 October 2011 - 12:28 PM
Posted 16 October 2011 - 01:17 PM
i don't have problems, i have issues
problems can be fixed, issues you just deal with
"The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence. Fences have nothing to do with it.
The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you may be."
Posted 16 October 2011 - 01:34 PM
Posted 16 October 2011 - 05:10 PM
Posted 16 October 2011 - 06:38 PM
Posted 16 October 2011 - 09:00 PM
Posted 17 October 2011 - 12:37 PM
Posted 18 October 2011 - 12:19 PM
Posted 18 October 2011 - 02:05 PM
I know a woman who grew up in an incestuous family. She was abused from 9-13 or so. The whole family would go to church, and she'd sing "families can be together forever", and she'd listen to the lessons about how you want to remain chaste and how you're less attractive to good people when you are immodest. Then everyone would go home, and she'd have to spend some time in the basement with her older teenage brother.
It's hard for me to convey how bad I feel when I'm in church and there are talks and testimonies about how happy families are to be sealed together in eternity and how this is "The Most Important Thing". It's what everyone should want, or so that's the gist I'm getting.
Yeah, she knows a little about dysfunction. And no, neither she nor you are alone. There are plenty of dysfunctional families out there of all sizes and types of melodrama.
Sounds like you have it figured out. No, it's not easy. You can't fix them.
I pray for them. I focus on the good qualities of each person. I have somewhat tentative relationships with all of them, and try to keep the peace, and stay in touch with each.
But you don't have to worry about people who hate each other, being forced to be around each other for eternity. That's not how it works. There's good reason for hope - even if someone leaves the earth without ever getting a clue.
This lady I know, writes it up like this: She would really like all those people to be healthy enough to make it to heaven. In the meantime, she'll work on getting herself there, which means doing her best to give up all the stress and rage and grief and blame, so she can just live a good life. Their lives are not up to her.
And maybe have a seat by the Eastern wall.
And I'd discuss the holy books with the learned men, several hours every day.
That would be the sweetest thing of all.
If I were a rich man...
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