Noisy kids in Sacrament

[Vort]

Anyways, I already decided, since it bothers so many, I will try to take them out. I will be selfless and let my Sacrament meeting be destroyed. As long as other people get spiritually nourished that is fine... I guess.

Your turn is coming, and it will last the rest of your life. For the moment, your calling is elsewhere.

It's like being in Young Men's so you can't go to elders quorum meeting. If you love your quorum, that's a real sacrifice. But it doesn't last forever, and you are doing much good in sacrificing elders quorum attendance for your Young Men's calling. Your calling as a father is infinitely more important, so your sacrifice is all the more necessary and good.

And as I said, it doesn't last forever. Actually, in retrospect, it's a very short time.

[Jennarator]

Sometimes it just takes a few seconds and you miss what main part of a thought or story that the speaker is saying and that is fruserating. I have 5 kids, they are not very quiet, but I don't just hope it's going to stop in 20 seconds. Theya re just out of there.

[applepansy]

Oh that's why you have to win this one. Ok.

And my point is that in a ward like the one I'm talking about in Texas, the noise is not created by misbehaved kids. It's created by the natural reverent behavior of a jillion kids under 6. You seem to keep missing that.

And don't put words in my mouth. I never said I was OFFENDED by the twisting parents. I said, as a speaker, I WOULD RATHER the parents pay more attention to what I'm saying than them having to worry so much about their kids.

Are there parents that are not teaching their kids reverence? Yes. That's a given. My point is addressing the other side of that coin. That there are parents who get paranoid over their kids' behavior at church because of their self-consciousness towards their seatmates. Don't walk out of sacrament at the first sign of the baby cooing. He's just fine. Turn the mics up and these parents who are trying their hardest won't feel too paranoid.

I really wish I could show you the sacrament meeting in that ward in Texas. Complete eye-opener that. They need to turn up their mic.

I would prefer as a speaker that parents do what parents should do, teach their children.

[applepansy]

At 5 months and 18 months it is not a matter of being a good parent. They don't understand if you tell them not to do something. Try telling a 5 and 18 month old to be reverent. Any inconsistent discipline they will not understand, like doing something once a week. If you take them out, you are mainly doing it as a courtesy to other people.

Been there done that. At 18 months your little one is just manipulating you if you think she doesn't understand. Five months...well, that's different.

[annewandering]

Being selfless IS nourishing your spirit. In this case just not how you had hoped to do it.

[annewandering]

lol 18 month toddlers dont understand what you are telling them? Ok I remember when I was 18 months. I understood just fine what was going on and being said. Dont short your kids on their knowledge. :

[applepansy]

It comes down to the fact, I just can not grasp how it is such a disturbance. Then again, I have an ability to zone people out. I think that is conditioned from Basic Training though.

Anyways, I already decided, since it bothers so many, I will try to take them out. I will be selfless and let my Sacrament meeting be destroyed. As long as other people get spiritually nourished that is fine... I guess.

That's part of being unselfish and putting your children before your enjoyment of Sacrament Meeting.

You're expressed in this thread a couple of times that its more important for you to enjoy Sacrament Meeting that it is to teach your children. At 18 months you daughter is capable of playing quietly for an hour. Have you taught her how? Have you taught her the consequences if she doesn't play quietly?

We had my grandson since he was 17 months old. We didn't have the luxury of having him since birth in Sacrament Meeting learning how to be quiet every week. It only took two Sunday's for him to understand. He didn't like sitting on the table in one of the classrooms.

[applepansy]

It comes down to the fact, I just can not grasp how it is such a disturbance. Then again, I have an ability to zone people out. I think that is conditioned from Basic Training though.

Anyways, I already decided, since it bothers so many, I will try to take them out. I will be selfless and let my Sacrament meeting be destroyed. As long as other people get spiritually nourished that is fine... I guess.

I agree this is the crux of the argument.

[JesusParadox]

It is funny how quickly old people forget how to raise kids. Then I get told I put Sacraent Meeting above my kids. Oh yea, I forgot this is members of the LDS Church we put our family before the lord. O yea, only when they are members though and if not darn them.

I often wonder why people have a hard time hearing things they don't agree with.

[JesusParadox]

Quit worrying about crying babies in Sacrament and focus on Christ. I will leave it at that...

[Echo2002]

It seems like our ward is made up of 50% children. It gets loud sometimes. Our old Bishop would stand up and interrupt the speaker to tell people to take their children out. We have one lady that is louder than her children, she doesn't whisper when she scolds her children during sacrament.

I think giving children snacks during sacrament is a bad idea, most of it winds up smashed into the seats or the carpet.

It's unfair to others for parents to just sit there and try to ignore their children when they are being loud.

[annewandering]

Quit worrying about crying babies in Sacrament and focus on Christ. I will leave it at that...

hm I am thinking that is the point. If parents take care of their children then it is lots easier to focus on the speakers and learn more about Christ.

[dahlia]

Noisy kids almost stopped me from attending church.

The first time the missionaries took me, we sat toward the back. The noise was terrible - and our members bring crayons, picture books, Cheerios, etc., so it's not like the children can't occupy themselves. But there's not much you can do for babies. Our ward has mostly young marrieds (young to me) with kids, 3-5 is typical. I think we have something like 70+ in primary.

I was so distressed that the missionaries sat me up front the next time, and that has been better. It has also helped that I know people in the ward now. My HT with his 5 kids often sit near me, and another family with 5 sit in front, but they are all pretty well behaved. With the babies, if things get crazy, the parents take them out. Maybe they feel more pressure on them at the front; I hear a few babies crying a bit too long in the back.

I wouldn't bring anything for the parents to give the kids, just sit further up front. It is a trial, though, at least for me.

[classylady]

I used to wonder "why can't those parents get their children to behave"? My kids, seven of them, were all reasonably well behaved during Sacrament meeting. My method of discipline was similar to Vort's. And then after my daughter died in a car accident, my husband and I had the responsibility of bringing her son to church with us. He was two months old at the time of the accident, so we have pretty much always had him every Sunday with us. He has been a "Holy Terror"!! I commiserate with parents who have difficult children. I disciplined him the same as I did my other children. Nothing seemed to work. After he was 7 years old we learned he has Asperger's Syndrome. Now, I know what I can reasonably expect from him. He can learn social skills, but it doesn't come naturally to him, and he is extremely anxious about certain situations. I'm not so judgmental about misbehaving children, or seemingly inept parenting anymore. But, I do agree if a child is being disruptive they need to be taken out of the room.

[paw722]

Sunday was better and it is the kids say 3-5 that are the loudest. There was one little girl probably about 2 that ran all the way around the center pews several times. That did not bother me because she was quiet. Like I said it's the screaming kids. Not the babbies cooing. I just wish the mothers/fathers would take them out or find some way for them to be quiet. Shouldn't they also be learning this in primary?

[JesusParadox]

Sunday was better and it is the kids say 3-5 that are the loudest. There was one little girl probably about 2 that ran all the way around the center pews several times. That did not bother me because she was quiet. Like I said it's the screaming kids. Not the babbies cooing. I just wish the mothers/fathers would take them out or find some way for them to be quiet. Shouldn't they also be learning this in primary?

That was a nice idea to offer a bag!

In my ward they have decided if you get annoyed by a baby crying just help the mother.

[Guest]

I would prefer as a speaker that parents do what parents should do, teach their children.

What I'm trying to say here is - parents get paranoid over their children in sacrament meeting that their fussing with the children is more disruptive than their children fussing. You can teach the kids in the other 6 days, 23 hours of the week which should help in their attitude in sacrament. If the training in the hours outside of sacrament is not working, then take the children outside. But, a lot of times, a parent's shushing and twisting around in their chairs is more disruptive than their kid's short lapse of reverence - especially to a speaker who is facing the congregation who is nervous enough as it is just trying to bring the spirit into his talk.

[Guest]

Noisy kids almost stopped me from attending church.

The first time the missionaries took me, we sat toward the back. The noise was terrible - and our members bring crayons, picture books, Cheerios, etc., so it's not like the children can't occupy themselves. But there's not much you can do for babies. Our ward has mostly young marrieds (young to me) with kids, 3-5 is typical. I think we have something like 70+ in primary.

I was so distressed that the missionaries sat me up front the next time, and that has been better. It has also helped that I know people in the ward now. My HT with his 5 kids often sit near me, and another family with 5 sit in front, but they are all pretty well behaved. With the babies, if things get crazy, the parents take them out. Maybe they feel more pressure on them at the front; I hear a few babies crying a bit too long in the back.

I wouldn't bring anything for the parents to give the kids, just sit further up front. It is a trial, though, at least for me.

AHHH DAHLIA!!! You know what I'm talking about! Are you still going to this ward? If so, then you can pay really close attention to each family with kids. Individually. Then you can see what I mean. If it's like the ward in Texas that I was talking about, you'll notice that the kids are as reverent as a little kid can be and if this was a regular ward, the little burst of noise each kid makes won't even distrub the people infront or behind them. It's when you multiply this by 50 kids that it becomes noise. So, each parent really can't do anything about this because her child's outburst was 2 seconds long which is not enough to cause him to get "hallway'd". But 2 seconds of outbursts in a symphony with all 50 other kids... yep. Noise.

Then you can see the worried look of the parents that are getting paranoid because they notice all the noise and so the next 2 second outburst of her little Johnny gets a 2 second "Shhh" plus a body twist... which just makes things worse.

This is really what I'm talking about. Sitting in this ward was jarring the first time. The next Sundays (I spent a month in Texas), I learned to keep reverence making the hum become background music by concentrating on the speaker. I wanted to tell the Bishop to raise the volume of the microphone a lot higher than they have it but I got to thinking about Vort's comment on that (the acoustics at the ward buildings may not support that solution) so I didn't say anything. I just went ahead and taught my 2 kids (age 10 and 8) who are getting very distracted by the noise how to stay reverent and pay attention to the talks. I went back to their younger days of having the "Sacrament Bingo" cards to keep them focused amid the noise.

Edited June 25, 2012 by anatess

[Praetorian_Brow]

Sacrament service is all ages to foster a sense of community and strength through unity, even if the speakers drone on about items that don't necessarily provide instant spiritual transcendence.

I attended YSA for years and the silence was always commented on by vistors, even while a lot of the YSA wistfully missed the organized chaos of the family wards.

Kids bring a welcome relief to our unimaginary adult lives and I for one, think its a great thing to have kids around in sacrament, with the condition that they aren't burning the drapes or being beaten by unruly parents.