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how do i know when it is The Lord intention, or just the rule?


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#1 MissSpider

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Posted 10 December 2012 - 01:02 AM

hi guy, i have some sort of problem ;( after i have been baptize and now 2 months passed , the Elders had kind of ask me if i will join YSA, they asked me every time i see them, i think it had been at least 5 times already! and i refuse. i am 20 years old,but i love my family ward. later, the bishop asked me when i will decide to go to YSA. a week after the bishop was his consulor ,who told me that he can introduce me to some nice gentle men in YSA. i refused them nicely, i have no intention about dating. my fiencee broke our engagement just 3 months ago...and i have no feeling of developing new relationship. today, the YSA woman society came talk to me , and ask me when i will join YSA. it is too much presure..so i agree to go next sunday. i dont know if this the Lord's intention or it just the rule. i felt like crying when she left. i dont want to go to YSA. they dont persuade people to date,but they still encourage people to date. i just want to be in family ward with adult and their kids. i know i have to obey the Lord's command,,, i prayed already,but i still feel unhappy. i really wanted to cry. for some weird feeling, i dont feel like going to YSA. but i still need to obey Him cause i love Him. i am really confused. if it just the rule,,then why they asking me and want me to go there so much? but if it the Lord's intention, why dont i feel happy when i pray for answer? i am confused

#2 Dravin

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Posted 10 December 2012 - 06:02 AM

To my knowledge there is no rule requiring you to attend YSA.
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#3 DHK

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Posted 10 December 2012 - 07:35 AM

That's the kind of pressure I used to feel when I was 19 and had no intention of serving a mission. I finally served at 21. Some people are 'list mangers of people'. They see that 'you're of age' so I need to make sure to get you active in the things that you should for people of your age. They don't make individualized recommendations. Just smile and say "not at this time, but thank you for the invitation." Give them your email address so they can notify you of events and leave it at that.
"But make no mistake about it, brothers and sisters; in the months and years ahead, events will require of each member that he or she decide whether or not he or she will follow the First Presidency. Members will find it more difficult to halt longer between two opinions (see 1 Kings 18:21). President Marion G. Romney said, many years ago, that he had "never hesitated to follow the counsel of the Authorities of the Church even though it crossed my social, professional, or political life" (CR, April 1941, p. 123). This is a hard doctrine, but it is a particularly vital doctrine in a society which is becoming more wicked. In short, brothers and sisters, not being ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ includes not being ashamed of the prophets of Jesus Christ." - Neal A. Maxwell, October 10th, 1978.

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#4 EarlJibbs

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Posted 10 December 2012 - 04:44 PM

Not a rule nor a commandment. We have YSA transfer back and forth from ours to the YSA ward all the time. Do what you feel you should. If you think you are not ready to attend the YSA ward, then don't.

#5 Backroads

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Posted 10 December 2012 - 05:37 PM

I have one sister attending the family ward, another one attending the YSA ward. Both are quite comfortable in their choices. There's certainly no rule, though it sounds like you might have to put a kind-but-firm foot down on these invitations.

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#6 Anddenex

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Posted 10 December 2012 - 05:58 PM

I will provide some thoughts from the CHoI, Book 2:

1. Leaders help YSAs to find and fellowship those in their age group
2. They create opportunities for YSAs to associate together in meaningful service, gospel learning, and social activities
3. Central purpose to help YSAs find marriage partners
4. While most YSAs live in conventional wards, priesthood leaders may recommend the organization of a YSA ward when circumstances are desirable
5. Eligible members may, in consultation with their parents, choose to be members of the YSA ward or to remain in their conventional ward.

It would appear you have a choice to either remain in your conventional ward, or to attend the YSA ward. One of the purposes for the YSA is to help YSAs to transition into a conventional ward.

The Lord's counsel, as given in the handbooks, is your personal choice. If you are serving in your conventional ward, then I personally see no reason for you to attend the YSA ward.

I'll finish by quoting Skippy740,

Just smile and say "not at this time, but thank you for the invitation." Give them your email address so they can notify you of events and leave it at that.



#7 Dove

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Posted 11 December 2012 - 01:01 AM

Hello, You seem to be feeling pressured by a lot of people to go to YSA....Maybe a firm, direct approach is needed to communicate that you would prefer to stay in your family ward. Something like, "I feel quite comfortable here in the family ward. Is there a particular/pressing/certain/whatever you want to say reason why you would like me to attend YSA?" I would say that it is quite positive and valuable to be in a ward you enjoy and want to stay in. Don't let others pressure you into relinquishing that. You sound like a really attractive person for so many to be encouraging you to go to YSA. I mean this as a compliment. Don't stress too much over it. I attended singles wards for years when I was unmarried. I was seldom asked out by the men of the ward. Just because I attended wasn't a guarantee that I would "hook up" with anyone or have a romantic relationship. They may be encouraging you to go thinking that you will relate more to the people of your age there. Just my .02 cents worth. Again, you sound really happy in the ward you are going to now. I wouldn't easily let that go even though others may feel otherwise.

#8 MarginOfError

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Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:04 AM

In the 1998 version of Handbook 1, it said, "The needs of single members are best met by conventional wards." It is 100% your choice whether you attend your conventional/family ward, or whether you attend the YSA ward. You should choose the ward where you feel you will be most able to develop in the gospel. Personally, I'd choose the family ward. You're far more likely to develop relationships with potential mentors in a family ward than you are in a ward of your peers, and having good mentors is an invaluable advantage to establishing yourself as an adult.

Dude. When both Vort and MOE are in agreement, the thinking has been done. :D


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#9 Sharky

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Posted 11 December 2012 - 11:59 AM

I'd give YSA an effort, a try that consists of more then just 1 Sunday though it wouldn't need to be consequtive weeks & understanding & realizing that it's not a done deal set in stone as you always have the choice to go to your family ward. Most family wards either announce or have the list of YSA activities, at least in my area. So you can choose to attend some of the YSA activities while still attending the family ward, if you want. Or like Skippy says, give them your e-mail & ask they let you know about the activities. We have a young man in our ward that attende the YSA every 4 to 6 weeks & the family ward the rest of the time. The YSA ward does a good job of making sure he knows about their activities & knows he is invited & he does attend some of those activities. He has friends in both wards though he does not like "the feel" of the YSA ward. Nothing says you have to choose one over the other. Choose your "primary preference" (the Family Ward) & let that be your "home ward", then you can attend the YSA Ward from time to time. In time you might find yourself enjoying it more & decide to attend it more frequently for a while, if not, that is okay too!

#10 Traveler

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Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:20 PM

For what ever reason - good or bad. There is in LDS society many good thinking people that want to help everyone single get married. I am kind of one of them now that I am married with 10 children and 13 grandchildren. However, when I was single and getting past the opium age to marry I was often asked why I was still single. My standard response was: My eternal partner was killed in the war in heaven. :D The Traveler

#11 MarginOfError

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Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:26 PM

...I was single and getting past the opium age to marry ...


We're allowed opium!? Why didn't I get this memo? :D

Dude. When both Vort and MOE are in agreement, the thinking has been done. :D


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#12 Vort

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Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:26 PM

when I was single and getting past the opium age to marry


...the age when all your dreams come true...
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#13 Traveler

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Posted 11 December 2012 - 02:39 PM

rats - caught by my dyslexia and spell check again. I meant optimum. The Traveler

#14 beefche

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Posted 11 December 2012 - 03:02 PM

My eternal partner was killed in the war in heaven. :D

The Traveler


Ahh, but that would make her a Son (Daughter) of Perdition! Not good for you, my man....
I say that we need to teach our people to find their answers in the scriptures...But the unfortunate thing is that so many of us are not reading the scriptures. We do not know what is in them, and therefore we speculate about things that we ought to have found in the scriptures themselves. I think that therein is one of our biggest dangers of today."
--President Harold B. Lee, December, 1972

#15 mnn727

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Posted 11 December 2012 - 03:09 PM

I didn't even know there was such a thing as singles wards until I was in the Church a few years. Tell them thank you but you're happy where you are for now, repeatedly if needed.
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#16 Backroads

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Posted 11 December 2012 - 04:39 PM

Ahh, but that would make her a Son (Daughter) of Perdition! Not good for you, my man....


Gotta say, there's always something attractive about the Bad Boy/Girl.

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#17 beefche

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Posted 11 December 2012 - 06:19 PM

Gotta say, there's always something attractive about the Bad Boy/Girl.


Sure, but considering that they won't receive a body, I'd say the relationship is doomed from the beginning....
I say that we need to teach our people to find their answers in the scriptures...But the unfortunate thing is that so many of us are not reading the scriptures. We do not know what is in them, and therefore we speculate about things that we ought to have found in the scriptures themselves. I think that therein is one of our biggest dangers of today."
--President Harold B. Lee, December, 1972

#18 Dravin

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Posted 11 December 2012 - 06:31 PM

Sure, but considering that they won't receive a body, I'd say the relationship is doomed from the beginning....


Well, you never have to worry about it getting too physical during dating.
Hindsight is all well and good... until you trip.




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