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Follow Up Forgiveness Question


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#1 LiterateParakeet

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 04:38 AM

Ok, so the other discussion about "what forgiveness means to you" was very helpful. Now I have a follow up question.

Do you think that forgiveness is a choice or a process? What I mean is, when I hear talks and lessons at church about forgiveness and how it will bring peace, I feel that people mean that if we just make a choice right now to forgive then we will have peace.

Personally, I disagree, I feel it is a process that takes time, and sometimes the peace comes first and that helps you to forgive. That is not the point though. I really want to understand if I am misunderstanding what other people intend/think.

So what do you think? Is forgiveness a choice, or a process?

#2 Jenamarie

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 07:19 AM

Both. You can choose that you want to forgive, then work through the process of doing so. Someone who wants to continue to hang onto their pain or anger isn't likely to be open to either the choice or the process of letting it go.

ETA: From personal experience, I've even sometimes fought against that peace that's come from the Lord prompting me to forgive, because I felt too (personally) justified in my anger. It wasn't until I finally decided that it was time to let go that I allowed that Heaven-sent peace to start it's work in my heart.

Edited by Jenamarie, 05 January 2013 - 07:21 AM.

And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them.
Isaiah 42:16

#3 Dravin

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 07:45 AM

Ok, so the other discussion about "what forgiveness means to you" was very helpful. Now I have a follow up question.

Do you think that forgiveness is a choice or a process? What I mean is, when I hear talks and lessons at church about forgiveness and how it will bring peace, I feel that people mean that if we just make a choice right now to forgive then we will have peace.

Personally, I disagree, I feel it is a process that takes time, and sometimes the peace comes first and that helps you to forgive. That is not the point though. I really want to understand if I am misunderstanding what other people intend/think.

So what do you think? Is forgiveness a choice, or a process?


It's a choice we make, to forgive, to begin a process, to be healed by Christ. It's a process that can take longer or shorter depending on the exact circumstances involved.

Edited by Dravin, 05 January 2013 - 07:49 AM.

Hindsight is all well and good... until you trip.

#4 estradling75

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 07:52 AM

Forgiveness is an action.

Like with any action we must choose to perform it (Choice)

And then we must actually do it (Process)

One with out the other means it is incomplete and we need to work on it.

For some people in some cases, the process is easy and it is the choice that is hard. For others it is the reverse, and still others both steps are hard.

As we become more Christ-like both steps become easier. Becoming more Christ-like is one of the main goals we have in this life so struggling with it is expected.
I had a life once... now I have a computer and a modem.

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. Stephen R Covey

#5 Traveler

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 10:02 AM

The things that are worth while are always a process. It is the journey and not the destination that is important. Anciently the process was called "The Way" or sometimes called "The Path".

But we must also understand that forgiveness is only one aspect of the way. I believe that often in breaking things down we lose something in such translations. For example though we speak of forgiveness we also learn that to forgive void of repentance is vain. In other words forgiveness is an element of the Plan of salvation. And as a part we come to know that to be whole or holy or one with G-d is all a part of the process.

But to understand the process - I believe the first step in the journey is discipline and self sacrifice. Thus the process begins first with faith in Jesus Christ that demonstrated the "way" of discipline and sacrifice.

If someone were to say they were having difficulty with forgiving someone that has wronged them - I believe the reason is because of lack of faith to discipline themselves in the "way" of Christ's sacrifice.

Thus I believe that faith in Jesus Christ is the act of discipline and if someone thinks that they have faith in Christ - without discipline then that they believe a lie and they have become a lair -- so that their faith is in vain.

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#6 Anddenex

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 03:22 PM

Right now I feel like Jarom who would like to share something, however as Jarom once said, "For what could I write more than [others] have written... Yea; and this sufficeth me." :)

#7 skalenfehl

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 03:40 PM

Some things to consider:

-Do you know the offender?
-Can you love someone that you don't know?
-Can you forgive someone that you don't love?
-Can you completely forget the offense committed against you?
-Do you still love the offender as much or more so than before the offense?
-Can you see that healing can begin only by such forgiveness?
-Can you see that Christ personified these qualities?
-Can you see that this is true charity, which is Christ-like love?
-Can you see that this begins with love?


etc..

#8 heatwaveo8

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 08:50 PM

Personally, I disagree, I feel it is a process that takes time, and sometimes the peace comes first and that helps you to forgive. That is not the point though. I really want to understand if I am misunderstanding what other people intend/think.

So what do you think? Is forgiveness a choice, or a process?


Peace only comes through the Savior's grace, made possible by the Atonement. In order to allow grace in, though, we have to make the choice. Once we do, we will then go through a process of healing. How long it lasts, will depend on how quickly we are willing to let the Savior fulfill His role.

#9 Seminarysnoozer

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Posted 07 January 2013 - 01:19 PM

Ok, so the other discussion about "what forgiveness means to you" was very helpful. Now I have a follow up question.

Do you think that forgiveness is a choice or a process? What I mean is, when I hear talks and lessons at church about forgiveness and how it will bring peace, I feel that people mean that if we just make a choice right now to forgive then we will have peace.

Personally, I disagree, I feel it is a process that takes time, and sometimes the peace comes first and that helps you to forgive. That is not the point though. I really want to understand if I am misunderstanding what other people intend/think.

So what do you think? Is forgiveness a choice, or a process?


I think it is a process for some, the lengthier part of which is realizing that we do not have the capacity to judge another person. We do not know what is in their heart as well as all of their circumstances. The process is coming to an understanding that we do not have all the facts to judge another. Once that is accomplished then the process of forgiveness is really quick.

People that hold onto the prideful or ignorant thought that they somehow have power and authority to judge another, struggle with the idea of forgiveness but that is only because they judged in error. They cannot see into the soul and understand all that is required to make such a judgement.

D&C 1 gives a pretty strict warning about that; " 7 Wherefore, fear and tremble, O ye people, for what I the Lord have decreed in them shall be fulfilled.

8 And verily I say unto you, that they who go forth, bearing these tidings unto the inhabitants of the earth, to them is power given to seal both on earth and in heaven, the unbelieving and rebellious;

9 Yea, verily, to seal them up unto the day when the wrath of God shall be poured out upon the wicked without measure—

10 Unto the day when the Lord shall come to recompense unto every man according to his work, and measure to every man according to the measure which he has measured to his fellow man."

.... as well as many other scriptures.




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