investigator question about temple

[Thila]

Hello,

I am an investigator and struggling with an issue. I was hoping someone could give me a solid answer. I am confused as to why a man may be sealed to more than one woman in the temple but it doesn't work in reverse?

You may ask why this is an issue with me? A little background: I was raised by a somewhat feminist mother who reinforced on a daily basis that I could do anything a man could do (of course with the exception of a few things). I am in my 40's, not married, no children and definitely independent. Probably too independent and stubborn at times but I am working on it.

I understand the concept that the church reinforces about how women are just as important as men but that their callings are different. I am on board with so many other things with the church but this continues to bother me. I have prayed about it and tried to find scripture to help me and asked the sister missionaries. Any explanations would be appreciated. Thank you.

[Just_A_Guy]

Hi Thila -

The short answer is, "we don't know". Our scripture that talks about marriage in general (including multiple marriages) is Doctrine and Covenants Section 132. It simply makes no provision for a woman being sealed to multiple men. I have heard multiple potential reasons for this, but they all boil down to speculation.

The best thing I can suggest - and I realize that this will seem like a dodge; and frankly, to some degree, it is - is to ask God about it and see what He says.

[kapikui]

Part of the reason is likely reproductive. In the Book of Mormon, Jacob 2:30 The Nephites were engaging in the practice of plural marriage, and were commanded not to do so. The reasoning was thus "For if I will, saith the Lord of Hosts, raise up aseed unto me, I will command my people; otherwise they shall hearken unto these things."

Indeed if you look throughout history, any time a group needs a population boost it turns to one man having multiple wives. The reasons for this are obvious. Women can only produce about 1 child a year on average, and can only do so for a few years. More, childbearing isn't exactly the safest thing in the world, so it could only be done a limited number of times. A man can produce far more offspring, but he needs more than one woman to do it. A woman can only produce so many offspring no matter how many men she has.

When I was on my mission, I ran into the descendants of a man who was said to have fathered over 100 children. He was still fathering children to willing women into his 90's.

The practice of plural marriage isn't exactly a new LDS thing either. Read the old testament. Jacob(Israel) had four wives, Abraham had multiple wives, Moses had three, David had a bunch, Solomon had a bunch and Samuel was the son of a second wife. Although modern Christianity has monogamy as a tenet, the Judaic roots of Christianity clearly specify that a man can have more than one wife, and there are times that a man was required to take a second wife under Mosaic law.

Now when it comes to an eternal perspective, I don't know if that's been revealed. There are things that we're supposed to accept as an act of faith.

[Thila]

I appreciate the scripture references and will read some more. It is hard being an investigator because it is creating some hesitance in being baptized. Aren't you supposed to buy into everything? Sometimes I wish this was like going grocery shopping and I could choose to purchase a specific can of religious belief beans and put back the box of Little Debbie snack cakes because I don't agree with it. Poor analogy but I think you understand where I was going with it...

[Just_A_Guy]

I appreciate the scripture references and will read some more. It is hard being an investigator because it is creating some hesitance in being baptized. Aren't you supposed to buy into everything? Sometimes I wish this was like going grocery shopping and I could choose to purchase a specific can of religious belief beans and put back the box of Little Debbie snack cakes because I don't agree with it. Poor analogy but I think you understand where I was going with it...

Well, if you look at the questions asked in the baptismal interview - and, once you've been a memer for a while - the temple recommend interview - very closely, there's actually a lot of wiggle room in there with regard to what beliefs you do or don't need to accept. On the other hand, IMHO, there isn't as much wiggle room as some of our co-religionists would like us all to think.

Really, learning to recognize and act on the voice of God in your own life - and learning the proper role of scripture and Church leadership in helping you to understand God's will for you - is key. It cannot be emphasized enough. That's why the missionaries - if you're meeting them - are probably harping on "the Spirit" so much.

[applepansy]

As an indepenant woman I understand your concerns. As a life long member from a prioneer heritage I don't know why anyone woman would want to be married to more than one man. Seriously, I can't tend the one I have why would I want two? But the other side of this is difficult for me too.

My Aunt (mother's sister) and her husband (Uncle-in-law who was a missionary companion of my father), fell away from the church. They got messed up with the Fundamentalist crowd. They were excommunicated. He never took a second wife however several of my cousins did. I cannot even begin to describe the heartache and suffering polygamy today causes. My Aunt and Uncle have been rebatpized but their children and grandchildren are a mess and not just by church standards.... they are a mess by social standardss too.

So... unless Heavenly Father commands us to live this principle I don't see the benefit.

The reason the early members were "called" (and it was a calling and not for everyone) to take other wives was to build up a righteous posterity who worshiped the Lord and understood the Gospel. They were being exterminated, literally. The extermination order in Missouri was finally rescinded in.... dang.... forgot the year. (Maybe somebody can help me out with that.) People were dying. Some were leaving the church out of fear of dying. It was definitely a faith testing time for the Lord's people.

ok... having said all that.

Bottom line for me is that with my husband I can raise a righteous posterity until the Lord into the eternities. I'll worry about the next life when I get there. There are going to be single sisters who live righteously who need a husband and IF my husband and I make it to the Celestial Kingdom I just can't see myself having time to worry about whether he has another wife in the eternities. We'll be too busy. :)

EDIT: I believe in Christ. I strive to be like Christ. I pray I'll have the strength to live the commandments of God regardless of what they are. Other than that I don't worry about it.

Edited January 10, 2013 by applepansy

[Vort]

We don't know why. But it doesn't matter, and here is why it doesn't matter:

God is loving and trustworthy. He assures us that we will experience the greatest happiness possible with him -- happiness that we are not even capable of experiencing yet, happiness that would overwhelm us and probably scare us to death were we to glimpse it now. Overpowering joy which eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither has entered into the heart of man or woman. This is what God gives us.

But in many respects, God's ways are not our ways. Maybe polygamy is an eternal principle. If so, what of it? When it comes time to live polygamy, we will understand it. More than that, we will want to live it. Why? Because it's how God wants us to live, and God gives is greater joy and happiness than we can even imagine.

I have sympathy for those, especially women, who feel threatened by polygamy, but on a rational basis I don't think it makes a bit of sense. If Principle X turns out to be God's truth, then Principle X is ultimately a good, wonderful thing. Period. I don't care what Principle X is -- polygamy, polyandry, eating our own arms with mustard sauce. Surely any reasonable person will agree with this.

Therefore, what is the point in worrying about such things? I see no point whatsoever. Let it go. No need to get all upset about something that does not even touch us today. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

[Maureen]

Hello,

I am an investigator and struggling with an issue. I was hoping someone could give me a solid answer. I am confused as to why a man may be sealed to more than one woman in the temple but it doesn't work in reverse?...

Hi Thila, I'm non-LDS but I'm going to add my 2 cents. I'm understanding your question is not really about polygamy but about the reasons why sealings between men and women work differently. I'm not sure about the "whys" but I do know that even though a woman can only be sealed to one man while she is alive; when she is deceased she can be sealed by proxy to all of the men that she had been married to during her life. Her husbands would have to be deceased also. The only way this would work though is for family members to volunteer to be proxies for these sealings.

M.

[dahlia]

I appreciate the scripture references and will read some more. It is hard being an investigator because it is creating some hesitance in being baptized. Aren't you supposed to buy into everything?

You haven't seen my posts, yet, have you?

[mnn727]

Aren't you supposed to buy into everything? .

I didn't buy into everything before I was baptized, but I did receive a witness that what I was being taught was true, explanations are still coming 20 years later and I imagine they will for a lot longer.

[Thila]

Still working on it. It's a journey eh?

I just wanted to clarify that my original question wasn't at all about me asking if I could have more than one husband. No way on the planet earth would I want more than one. I fired the last one and I couldn't imagine having more than one. I just wanted to know why there was a discrepancy between men and women. Thanks for your replies.