We just wait for the day they finally will get married because they look happy and comfortable with each other and we all believe they have a healthy relationship. They live almost like a married couple without the living together thing, kids and an actual marriage.
My friend is just telling me his boyfriend is always postponing the proposal, though the always talk about marriage, (mainly because she brings up the topic) he says he's probably going to finally propose months later and that they probably will get married next year. But he's mentioned he's scared about it.
So far, that is kind of normal, but she told me something he told her that is just scary and a huge red flag to me. He told her:
"It's just that sometimes I see beautiful girls and I am natural mal and natural man is enemy to God and I say to myself I have my girlfriend but I don't have nothing to remind me the commitment, like a ring, you see? We better get married and have some babies to remind me I am with you"
Isn't he a potential cheater?!
When she asked him if she could see handsome men too, he said "Now that would be a different thing..." Potential emotional abuser or a controlling husband?
She's now telling me things she's seen lately like texts in his cell phone from friends asking him to buy them alcohol and they would pay later, he hides things from her, he sometimes gets angry when they talk about marriage again, he says he's got no money for wedding dresses but that he buys other unnecessary and expensive stuff, or that they fight when she reminds him to go to the temple instead of hanging out with his friends. But he has told her not to hang out with her friends because "they are friends of the world and bad influences for her." (They're not!)
I can't believe this since he's apparently an outstanding leader in the ward and the stake, he's like the most spiritual guy in the ward and we all have a good opinion him. We used to think they would make a good husband and father, but now I don't know :S
So what do you think? To me he's shown several red flags. But what can I tell her? What advice can I give her? They've been together for what it seems an eternity and she loves him and marrying him has been her hope for years, and this stuff has been coming up just recently.
Edited by nellyleyva92, 30 January 2013 - 09:49 AM.