Posted 24 March 2013 - 09:32 PM
The problem I have is that I often have dreams about my high school sweetheart. It's never anything romantic, it's just about hanging out with him or that we're friends again. When I wake up, I find myself wondering how he's doing, and wishing we were friends now, and I feel so guilty because I feel like I have betrayed my husband somehow by thinking about him. He was my best friend for 5 years...I know I can not ever actually be friends with him again, because it's just not appropriate, but we are in touch once in a while on facebook (rarely, on a superficial level, and my husband knows about it) and he is in my stake so we say hello at stake conference.
I just don't know how to get him out of my head once and for all. I have been over the romantic part of it for years, but somehow I still miss his friendship. I wish I could make that feeling go away because it's ridiculous and inappropriate.
Posted 24 March 2013 - 09:37 PM
Honestly, this is very, very normal. What I have learned is that it's not even about your old boyfriend. It's about being back at that time, and feelings you had or things you were going through. For me, I have had those dreams when I'm grappling with my self-esteem. . . so the times I tended to dream about being back in high school and with my ex-bf were times that I was struggling with that, and the way he treated me in the dreams tended to be in line with how I was feeling about myself at that time. So think really hard about what is going on in your life right now, how you feel about it, and how that might connect to being back in that time. It sounds silly but since I am such a vivid and frequent dreamer, I think and read about dream interpretation fairly frequently. An easy site to use is dreamdictionary.com. Look up all of the elements in your dreams and see if they relate to your life now somehow.
Posted 03 April 2013 - 01:11 PM
Posted 13 April 2013 - 04:40 AM
But mostly I feel free. Like I can finally let go of that part of my life. And thank you thank you thank to Eowyn for helping me realize it was never actually about the ex-boyfriend, but about that time in my life. I went through a pretty major trial at that time in my life, and realizing this helped me to finally come completely to terms with it. I can finally think about it now without being sad. I'm not sure why it took me a whole decade, but I finally feel free from it.
Posted 13 April 2013 - 11:55 AM
Its the 'What if' syndrome or the "grass is always greener" syndrome at work.
Say Hi to him if you see him (hopefully while on your husbands arm) but otherwise I would cut off contact.
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Posted 15 April 2013 - 04:29 PM
"By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." -- John 13:35
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Posted 19 April 2013 - 08:48 AM
In all seriousness, it is completely normal to have these feelings. I also agree with the thoughts from Eowyn. If we are struggling with something presently in our life, our minds will often go back to a time when we felt happy, content, or comforted. This is our minds way of dealing with our individual or relational problems. Take a close look at what stressors you are currently experiencing. Are you struggling with individual worth? Are you struggling in your relationship?
Work at improving your life and taking care of the problems in an appropriate manner. I would especially suggest working at drawing closer to the Savior as he is the ultimate healer. Drawing upon the powers of the Atonement can help us to feel happier about ourselves.
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Posted 10 November 2013 - 05:03 AM
I thought about praying about this, for His help to let this go, once and for all. But I don't really feel like I know what to say...
Posted 10 November 2013 - 05:29 PM
You thinking about him, could simply be part of the trauma of being cheated on. It's heart breaking, and leaves a mark on your psyche. If that's the way he treated your love, be glad it happened while you were dating, not after marriage. You were blessed to have it happen before marriage. Who would ever want to be married to a spouse that is not true and loyal? Continue to look at the good points in your marriage and the strengths of your husband. Be grateful for your young family. Eventually, you will stop thinking so much about your old boyfriend. It may come to mind occasionally, but that is normal. I've been married over 33 years. I occasionally think about some of my old boyfriends. And, as time goes on, and a snippet of information comes my way about an old boyfriend, it's usually negative, and makes me sooo glad I didn't end up with them.
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