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After Divorce Burnout...

dating divorce gospel

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#1 jassygirl

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 05:48 PM

Hey All,

New member here, first post. I was married for 18 years, and I've been divorced almost five now. I'm finding that as more time goes by, I am starting to feel somewhat disconnected to the gospel. I still have a strong testimony and have continued to attend church regularly, but I don't know how else to explain it except I'm feeling disconnected to some degree.

I know my eternal salvation is up to me and I alone am responsible for it, but I recognize I'm not as motivated as I was when I was with a spouse and working toward an eternal partnership. I've dated quite a bit and had one relationship that lasted a year, but there is so much pain, fear, and hurt out there that I haven't been able to find someone that is in the same place I am, where the connection is there for both, and they are ready to move forward with a relationship.

Yes, I can be alone. Yes, I am happy. But there is nothing to prove about either one of those things. I miss having someone to lift me up when I'm faltering and my wanting to be my better self so I can do the same for them. Someone to laugh with, share my day with, and experience the gospel with. My life experiences with my divorce and after, have just produced a kind of shift that is difficult to even explain. I have three great kids, but my two oldest are off two school now, and that may have much to do with my growing restlessness.

It is what it is. I'm generally a glass half full kind of gal, and I'm not one to sit on my pity pot very often, so this is why I'm more concerned about how I'm feeling. For me, it doesn't get easier the longer I'm without a companion, it is seeming to get harder. If any of this makes sense, then fabulous :) I"m not sure I have a question so much as wondering how others have dealt with this kind of situation.

Edited by jassygirl, 25 March 2013 - 06:28 PM.


#2 Son_of_Orpheus

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 09:25 PM

My heart goes out to you Jassy. It is sad that after so many married years something happened to negate it all. It's also sad that after 5 years you are still troubled, and seeking something. As my experience is lean I can't offer any valid observations or suggestions----I wish I could. Maybe others will get involved in here and come forth with some inspiration. Don't count on it though. This site doesn't exactly rock. I'm new here as well and find it lacking. I see a lot of once-hopeful marriages fall apart, and it kinda scares me, so maybe I'll just play a little while longer. Hehe. Much luck to you Jassy.

#3 Roseslipper

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Posted 25 March 2013 - 10:01 PM

Hey All,

New member here, first post. I was married for 18 years, and I've been divorced almost five now. I'm finding that as more time goes by, I am starting to feel somewhat disconnected to the gospel. I still have a strong testimony and have continued to attend church regularly, but I don't know how else to explain it except I'm feeling disconnected to some degree.

I know my eternal salvation is up to me and I alone am responsible for it, but I recognize I'm not as motivated as I was when I was with a spouse and working toward an eternal partnership. I've dated quite a bit and had one relationship that lasted a year, but there is so much pain, fear, and hurt out there that I haven't been able to find someone that is in the same place I am, where the connection is there for both, and they are ready to move forward with a relationship.

Yes, I can be alone. Yes, I am happy. But there is nothing to prove about either one of those things. I miss having someone to lift me up when I'm faltering and my wanting to be my better self so I can do the same for them. Someone to laugh with, share my day with, and experience the gospel with. My life experiences with my divorce and after, have just produced a kind of shift that is difficult to even explain. I have three great kids, but my two oldest are off two school now, and that may have much to do with my growing restlessness.

It is what it is. I'm generally a glass half full kind of gal, and I'm not one to sit on my pity pot very often, so this is why I'm more concerned about how I'm feeling. For me, it doesn't get easier the longer I'm without a companion, it is seeming to get harder. If any of this makes sense, then fabulous :) I"m not sure I have a question so much as wondering how others have dealt with this kind of situation.



First I like to say hello and welcome, I know how hard it must be on you, divorce is not easy, the church is very family orientated and your kids are leaving the nest.

It might be getting hard cause the kids are starting to leave that empty nest thing is going on. You see yourself getting older and being alone. It might be scarey.I dont think any of us want to be alone. It sucks. My gf married but her kids are leaving as well, which is a good thing its good to see them become adults. She went to a couselor to just have some one to talk with it did help her, she didnt go for that long, but it was nice to just talk to some1 and know she wasnt being judged.

As far as maybe not feeling in at church. It can be hard to be single or divorced in a married or family church, but know that you are wanted and needed. Please keep going, reAd the scriptures, go to activities, maybe get active make friends, service others. Prayer for the Lords help. Mingle, go to single activities, Do all u can do, stay close to God. strive to keep the commandments. If you want another man pray for a good one and who knows u might be blessed with one. If your not keep on growing spiritually, your most important relationship is with GOd.dont let Satan get you cause he wants u to be out of the church he wants u to be miserable, unhappy, sad, down, dont let him win. Hold on to GOd, build that testamony, learn a new hobby. Be happy.

Edited by Roseslipper, 25 March 2013 - 10:05 PM.





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