Disfellowship - How It Works


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Why? Is there any scriptural validation for that?

Strictly speaking no. Disfellowshipment is more of a trial run for excommunication, which is know in the scriptures as: blotted out, shall not be numbered, cast out, cut off or excommunicate .

Disfellowshipment is done to avoid the more draconian measure of excommunication, or being cast out, since that requires rebaptism for membership. Hence its a step the brethren have come up with as an alternative to the extreme measure which excommunication can be, especially for the endowed who will need to apply for restoration of their temple blessings a year after rebaptism.

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I don't think disfellowshipment is a trial run for excommunication. I believe excommunication is what happens to the rebellious but disfellowship is what happens to the ones who are repentant.

I say this based on personal experience where a good friend of mine and I committed the same type of sin within a year of each other. She was called in and lied about it and her attitude was one of rebellion. The Bishop worked with her for more than a year before she was finally excommunicated.

I went to the Bishop and confessed and asked for help. I was disfellowshipped. In my experience, being disfellowshipped was being surrounded by love. I met with the Bishop every week for counsel and was gven reading assignments. The other members of the Bishopric went out of their way to speak to me and to be kind. The missionaries began coming by a lot more and I just generally felt protected by everyone's love. Being disfellowshipped was not, in any way, a negative experience for me.

We also need to remember the Bishopric or the Stake Presidency doesn't make the decision. They pray together about it and then do what has been revealed to them.

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I don't think disfellowshipment is a trial run for excommunication

.

Yes, certainly. What the spirit guides one is the key and it comes down very clearly as a kind of light (in my experience)

I used it as an expression, a figure of speech so people catch on. But certainly when one is repentant chances are they are disfellowshiped or placed on probation, as the majority of YSA cases, although if its an ex-bishopric member and a recent event, then chances are they are ex'd no matter how repentant, same with an incest case for example.

Notice though that your friend was 'followed up' for a year which is the normal time for a disfellowshipment, probation is usually months and usually less than a year. But yes, we all pray about it on the night about it and this is done after several interviews. But I can personally assure you that no bishop really wants to excommunicate someone, its a hard to do, like firing someone at work that you know well. (Although there may be some overzealous bishop who thinks otherwise of course. )

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am a 21 year old girl who attended BYU.I have been on imformal probation of a while, and haven't taken the sacrament in 14 months. I can't change. i keep falling deeper and deeper into immorality, and considering doing things that i would have never imagined. I've lost my virginity, and most of my faith. I've let people watch me do terrible things and considered doing even more terrible things to pay the bills.

I want to change, and I believe the church is true, but I don't know how to do this.I have been trying for so long, and keep failing. I am meeting with my bishop soon, as soon as he gives me a time, can i ask him to be disfellowshipped? I think that would help me, give me something solid to work towards (regaining the blessings of membership). can I ask for this, or do you think he may do it anyways? Thanks

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Lost, I can't speak for your bishop, but I know that it is possible to dig oneself out of deep pits.

Accept whatever he has to say. Do whatever he says. Even if it means completely cutting yourself off from your friends and loved ones, do what he says. It might be the only way, but the rewards are worth more than you can know now.

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I am a 21 year old girl who attended BYU.I have been on imformal probation of a while, and haven't taken the sacrament in 14 months. I can't change. i keep falling deeper and deeper into immorality, and considering doing things that i would have never imagined. I've lost my virginity, and most of my faith. I've let people watch me do terrible things and considered doing even more terrible things to pay the bills.

I want to change, and I believe the church is true, but I don't know how to do this.I have been trying for so long, and keep failing. I am meeting with my bishop soon, as soon as he gives me a time, can i ask him to be disfellowshipped? I think that would help me, give me something solid to work towards (regaining the blessings of membership). can I ask for this, or do you think he may do it anyways? Thanks

Yes, I think you can ask. I know of a case where someone voluntarily relinquished their temple recommend and the bishop accepted that on face value. I think the Spirit works in us to tell us what we need. I can't predict what your bishop will say. What I can say is that whatever he tells you to do will most likely be in your best interest, if you have the courage to accept that road to repentance.

BTW.....how are you doing with your basics? I mean the reading and praying. You fight darkness with light. Perhaps you need to spend more time turning the lights on.

Much love to you and remember there is ALWAYS hope --even in the hardest of circumstances.

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I have looked on LDS.Org and I am un able to find all of the answers to my questions with this.

1. Reasons for disfellowship

2. What is taken away from the disfellowshipped person

3. What part does the bishop play in getting the blessings restored?

4. What is the duration of time... can it go into years???

What can we do to help in this matter beside what is already given?

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I am a 21 year old girl who attended BYU.I have been on imformal probation of a while, and haven't taken the sacrament in 14 months. I can't change. i keep falling deeper and deeper into immorality, and considering doing things that i would have never imagined. I've lost my virginity, and most of my faith. I've let people watch me do terrible things and considered doing even more terrible things to pay the bills.

I want to change, and I believe the church is true, but I don't know how to do this.I have been trying for so long, and keep failing. I am meeting with my bishop soon, as soon as he gives me a time, can i ask him to be disfellowshipped? I think that would help me, give me something solid to work towards (regaining the blessings of membership). can I ask for this, or do you think he may do it anyways? Thanks

Seek help immediately...

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Lost-I believe you need to act upon this feeling to see your Bishop. I pray that you feel the spirit and find the faith that you’ve lost. When you regain faith you will change your path. This path you are now on will only lead to heartache.

I also pray that your Bishop will be compassionate and tell you what will help you most. Heavenly Father is not going to let you go without a fight. Satan will only keep trying until he has you, then he'll move on to the next leaving you lifeless.

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I am a 21 year old girl who attended BYU.I have been on imformal probation of a while, and haven't taken the sacrament in 14 months. I can't change....

I want to change, and I believe the church is true, but I don't know how to do this.I have been trying for so long, and keep failing. I am meeting with my bishop soon, as soon as he gives me a time, can i ask him to be disfellowshipped? I think that would help me, give me something solid to work towards (regaining the blessings of membership). can I ask for this, or do you think he may do it anyways? Thanks

No, one can't ask to be disfellowshipped per se, although if you bring it up any Bishop will probably see it as prima facie evidence that serious sin has been committed. But then he needs to check with the SP, discuss things, and then they decide if a formal disciplinary council is necessary. In that council only disfellowshipment or excommunication can be possible since you are already on probation, and for more than a year now. Chances are though that they may excommunicate you. Notice that if that happens you can't graduate from BYU; and if you are disfellowshipped they will still ask questions at BYU too to see if you are over this. It would be a honor code violation.

I disagree though with your sentence "been trying for so long, and keep failing"....if you asked about this here and are talking to Bishop then you aren't failing, but working to fix what seems to be probably an addiction or additive behaviour today. I'd say that you need to repent every day, every morning, asking God for help to overcome this, and slowly that inner strength to stop this behaviour starts to develop. With the Bishop one needs to be upfront and honest, this is part of facing reality which all shrinks will tell you to do, to be honest with one's self and hold truth before the excuses.

I hope all goes well and that they don't excommunicate you because it's difficult to return after that. Best wishes

Edited by Charlyc
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Luke 15: 11-32

11 And he said, A certain man had two sons:

12 And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living.

13 And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living.

14 And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.

15 And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.

16 And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him.

17 And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father’s have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!

18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee,

19 And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.

20 And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.

21 And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.

22 But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet:

23 And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry:

24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.

25 Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing.

26 And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant.

27 And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound.

28 And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him.

29 And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends:

30 But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf.

31 And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.

32 It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.

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Luke 15: 11-32

31 And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.

specifically that verse, because I turned away from the lord have i lost it? This son came back, but was never restored his inheritance, is that the same for us?

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specifically that verse, because I turned away from the lord have i lost it? This son came back, but was never restored his inheritance, is that the same for us?

Its possible to take a parable to far, restoring the inheritance would have been a disservice to the child who stayed because the Father has limited assets not so with our Father in Heaven, restoring the prodigal child doesn't 'reduce' the faithful's reward. The parable is one of reconciliation, even if you wander off and squander your inheritance your father will take you back even though by 'legal' rights he could probably tell you to get lost and have you hauled off for trespassing if you didn't comply.

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specifically that verse, because I turned away from the lord have i lost it? This son came back, but was never restored his inheritance, is that the same for us?

There is nothing lost that can't be found.

Don't you worry right now about what you may or may not have lost in the here after. I guarantee you that Satan will want to beat you with that one, but recognize the meanness of his voice and banish those thoughts. They don't serve you and they aren't based in truth anyway.

Keep walking down the road of repentance in hope and trust that God will restore his blessings to you. God is really really good at restoration. :) Give him your life. Let him order and provide according to his wisdom. He will deal with you in love and mercy and he will give you what is best for you during this life in order to get you where he wants you in the next. So trust Him, Ok? His tender mercies are more vast than you can imagine -- just as the father who lost a son in the story.

Remember Alma the older, Alma the younger, and Paul. They were the vilest of sinners. They did it all. And see how the Lord restored them. You are just as valuable a child of God as they were.

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There's a wonderfully inspiring book by Henri Nouwen called "The Return of the Prodical Son" - about the parable itself and about Rembrandt's painting of it. It explores the story from so many different angles. (It's one of those books I couldn't keep to myself - I no longer have a copy, but I've bought about half a dozen for other people!)

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so does that story in the scriptures mean i have lost my inheritance in the celestial kingdom and with God?

I think the point of the story of the Prodigal Son is to teach us that we CAN come back if we're willing to forsake our sins and humble ourselves to ask for forgiveness.

Please keep us posted on how you're doing. I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants to help you back.

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I really appreciate the reply' I've gotten, I am trying to set aside and discern what are Satan's lies, Im just not sure what the truths of the gospel are yet. I think I will be talking to my bishop tomorrow, I told him that I would like to when he has time...this week has been rough on him with the death of a young child in the ward as well as many other families in need. He said he would like to talk on sunday. I am going to try very hard to just tell him everything, and regardless of what he decides, I think it will be in my best interest.

I'll continue to keep you all informed, and if there is any other help you could offer I would so greatly appreciate it. I want to change, but I don't know if I want it enough to actually accomplish it.

I'm trying to read scriptures daily, and trying to start praying...i've missed a couple days, but when i do study the scriptures i am really trying to get something out of it.

Thank you again.

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I didn't end up talking to him...some weird things happened at church, with random baptist families showing up in the middle of sacrament meeting and various other things that kept him very busy....I was slightly grateful for that because I realy don't want to talk to him. I imagine he will call me sometime soon to set up a time though. if I don't hear from him by nxt sunday I'll call him.

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I have looked on LDS.Org and I am un able to find all of the answers to my questions with this.

1. Reasons for disfellowship

2. What is taken away from the disfellowshipped person

3. What part does the bishop play in getting the blessings restored?

4. What is the duration of time... can it go into years???

There is one thing that really hasn't been mention. When you are disfollowship, or excomutcaed, who all knows this? Disfollowship, who exacaly all is imformed. Is is just the bishopbric and quorm leaders? No one really metion that if someone is excoumutcaed, who know about this? Dose the whole ward know about it or is it just the same as if you were disfollowship. This is a question that I can't seem to find an answer to.

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Answer to your question is only those who need to know. Bishopric, Quorum leaders, Relief Society President, Stake leaders.

Years ago it was shared with all Mel. Priesthood holders. Aaronic were excused from Priesthood opening exercises. Now it is not done that way.

Ben Raines

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It depends on you and your bishop (and G-d, if He's involved at all). One Bishop might decide you need to be disfellowshipped due to a given “sin,” while another may not even ask you to stop taking the sacrament for that same “sin.”

That point about God is well taken. As I understand it, He has forgiven us for our sins as part of Jesus' atonement.

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