Sorry to hear the story. I know "sadsister" is a name that doesn't do justice to what you're going through. First question - how old was your niece at the time of offence? Keep in mind, everything I have to say below, is from the point of view of someone who'se niece was 8. If your niece was 17 or something, that can be a different story.
1) I know, in general, recidivism rates for sexual abusers are very high. I know, personally, of one guy who abused his kids, was excommunicated, rebaptized....and did it again with a child 10 years later. Are the recidivism rates of LDS offenders still pretty high?
I don't know one way or the other, but from what I can tell, child sex offenders share similarities across demographics.
Genuinely repentant child sex offenders tend to do everything they can to avoid contact with children. Additionally, parole restrictions may mandate a certain distance by law. You should find out what those conditions are, and notify the authorities if you see him violating them.
2) Does it tend to get around in a ward when a sex offender moves in? I assume so, as parents want to protect their kids. I know he will not be allowed to hold callings in primary and youth.
Do not assume anything. Do you know that your brother is/will be excommunicated? Are you sure the church knows what he did? If you are not sure, then feel free to consider it your duty to let the bishop know.
My wife's brother lived in another state. Her mother tried desperately to keep what hapened secret and private. The only reason the church found out, is that we sent them copies of the court transcripts.
3) I imagine he would have a hard time remarrying? He will end up divorced (it was with his very young stepdaughter).
Well, we can hope he'd end up divorced. There are women who will overlook such crimes against their own kids, in order to keep a man. Has your brother's wife filed? If she hasn't by now, I wouldn't hold my breath.
I ask b/c if he moves in with my parents, he would have to be their caretaker.
Taking care of elderly parents is a good thing. I could see such a situation as a win for everybody, if there was an understanding about visiting children. But whether your brother remarries, stays married, stays single, or searches for more prey, are basically up to him.
4) I assume it is true that jobs are hard to get for sex offenders? He lives in Utah.
It's very hard, but it's possible. If he's honest, reliable, and hard working, there are options for him. Here's a common story - your brother's details will vary: Sentanced for 5-life, paroled after 5 years to a halfway house for sex-offenders. Halfway house will help him find a job - his way out of the house is to keep his nose clean for a while, and get a job. Then he'll be on parole, with restrictions.
I can't stress this enough - find out what the conditions of his parole are, and if you find out he's violating them, gather evidence and inform the authorities. This is not about being loud with your parents. This is not about causing scenes. This is about protecting communities from known risks of harm.
Has anyone gone through a family member being incarcerated for this? I will not defend him. I am working on the anger...it is mostly sadness now.
Yeah - me and my wife. It's been just a lovely last 6 years.
There are some things you need to be aware of. If you attend any parole hearings or other court proceedings, you will need to pick which side to sit on. They have the offender/defense, and a bunch of seats behind him. They have the victim/prosecution, and a bunch of seats behind them. Your brother will be on one side, your niece will be on the other. You don't get to sit in the aisle, but you can choose to not attend.
You will find that as this thing moves through the next several years, everyone will grapple with this fact in different ways, and it will extend into daily life in various ways. Wherever you choose to sit, you will find beloved family and friends making different choices. This might split apart your family. Prepare to have your ability to love and forgive tested in ways you never expected or wanted. Are you married? Stay close to your husband.
I know my niece is in for a tough life, as I have seen what a similar situation did to another niece.
As things stand now, my wife and I are the only people sitting on our niece's side. Everyone else sits on the other side and calls us boatrockers. I hope your family can find better ways to cope.
God bless you and your niece.
Edited by Loudmouth_Mormon, 18 August 2013 - 08:04 AM.