How soon do you think I'll be offered a calling?

[Normandy]

Wasn't sure where to post this, but it's been on my mind.

I'm a new convert (October of last year). And recently everyone has been asking me if I've received a calling yet. I haven't. I'm not sure when to expect it. Someone told me to pray for one. I honestly am not sure if I'm ready to do that yet.

I was assigned to three women as a VT last month (does everyone get three? When they asked if I'd be comfortable doing this it was just one person. When I got the actual paper it was three). I received my PB last month also. I have four kids at home, two aren't in school yet. I work from home on a job and I own a small business. I am a student from home through an extension program with Harvard. I'm busy, busy, busy and I rarely get four hours of sleep at night. I'm just praying my calling will be easy on my time. My Bishop says I'm "moving along nicely and is proud of me". I'm not really sure exactly what he means by that, but it was nice to be encouraged.

What do new converts typically get offered and when? I know this is usually inspired by the spirit, but I also know that the Bishop usually takes into account your home/family life too.

[dahlia]

I get the same 'moving along nicely' from my bishop. Apparently I am the "star convert" (his words, not mine).

I don't know if 3 is standard but I've always had 3 vistees.

I am a professor. My work doesn't end when I get home. We have a lot of stay at home moms in my ward. I haven't said anything directly (re a calling), but my 2 callings have been things I can do either on the phone or via email from home. There's no way I could do Meals on Wheels or some of the other things that would take me away from my work (much of which is at home, like you). Don't let people think that just because you are at home, that you aren't working. You have as much right to your own time as anyone else.

I hope that when you get a calling (I got mine right after confirmation), that it will fit into your schedule and that you will be comfortable with it. I know some people on here will say just pray on it, or do it anyway even if it sucks the life out of you, but I don't feel that way. You do what's right for you.

[pam]

I always seemed to have three sisters to visit. Does your Bishop know the issues placed on your time?

[Normandy]

I highly doubt he knows my time demands. He doesn't know me very well.

The other reason I've been (dreading?) pondering this is because my husband and I share one vehicle for our family. He works 30 minutes away and commutes six days a week. I just have no idea how I'd be able to fit in a regularly scheduled thing (my son has to get regular rides to scout meetings because I can't take him) and almost every Sunday we have to get a ride from another family because 1. my husband works every single Sunday from 9:30-8. And 2. church is too far to walk or else I'd do that.

I absolutely hate asking for rides. I feel bad doing it -- like I'm using people. It's taken me a lot to accept rides on a weekly basis to church. I still refuse rides to the school and just walk my kids to school 2 miles away. I was just taught to be as self reliant as you can and only take help when you 100% have no other choices.

Aside from the vehicle situation is baby sitter issues if I needed to leave our home when my husband wasn't home. I'm already having this issue with my VT. I just have to go when my husband is home and can watch the kids and try to coordinate with my companion. It's hectic and I feel really bad my companion is having to be a go-between. I bake treats to make up for this.

I guess my entire point is that I'm anxious about being offered something that I know I will not be able to do or give my best at and I know how bad it will make me feel about myself. I want to do a good job for Heavenly Father, I don't want to be set up to fail. I know Heavenly Father wouldn't set me up to fail, I just worry the Bishop might not realize how tight my schedule is.

dahlia, if I had a calling I could do from home, through emails, over the phone/the internet that would be perfect and ideal. Maybe Heavenly Father will keep this post in mind when he whispers into my Bishop's ear. haha!

Edited January 11, 2014 by Normandy

[pam]

I think you need to voice your concerns and your time restraints to the Bishop. Let him be guided by this as well.

[Sharky]

The "standard" time frame for giving a calling to new members or reactivated members is 6 to 12 months.

Rarely is it sooner then 6 months & there are many cases where more then 12 months pass, but the "goal" is in a 6 to 12 month time-frame. In fact, missionaries have a form titled "New or Reactivated Member Progress" that is used to track member progress & it says a calling at 6 months.

As for the VT .... in my current ward 3 to 5, seems that has been about normal in every ward I've been in. For Home Teaching, every ward I've been in before this one has always been 4 or 5 families ... my current ward is 2 (a few 3 & a few 1, mostly 2). Every ward will be a little bit different though they try really hard to keep the number low.

Rides to church. Hmmm, it does take a lot to ask. We want to be independent, but remember, asking for a ride allows for others to have the opportunity to serve.

I don't remember which General Authority it was that taught this but it was back in the 80s ... Service is what Godhood is all about! When we allow others to serve us we allow them the opportunity to perform a sanctifying act, when we deny them the opportunity to serve we deny them the opportunity to perform a sanctifying act.

Allow people to serve you, to give you the rides, to help you however you need.

There will, in time, come the opportunity for you to serve others.

[Normandy]

Do I just pull him aside or should I make an appointment to chat?

That'll sound great "oh, I know I'll get a calling soon... so just don't give me anything that demands too much time. One I could do at home would be great.". Won't it?

We did talk about the 6-12 month mark because I expressed I deep desire to go to the Temple at my 1 year mark to receive my endowment. So we talked about needing a calling before I could do that. I'll keep this in mind and try not to get discourage if my calling doesn't come soon.

Edited January 11, 2014 by Normandy

[Leah]

Wasn't sure where to post this, but it's been on my mind.

I'm a new convert (October of last year). And recently everyone has been asking me if I've received a calling yet. I haven't. I'm not sure when to expect it. Someone told me to pray for one. I honestly am not sure if I'm ready to do that yet.

I was assigned to three women as a VT last month (does everyone get three? When they asked if I'd be comfortable doing this it was just one person. When I got the actual paper it was three). I received my PB last month also. I have four kids at home, two aren't in school yet. I work from home on a job and I own a small business. I am a student from home through an extension program with Harvard. I'm busy, busy, busy and I rarely get four hours of sleep at night. I'm just praying my calling will be easy on my time. My Bishop says I'm "moving along nicely and is proud of me". I'm not really sure exactly what he means by that, but it was nice to be encouraged.

What do new converts typically get offered and when? I know this is usually inspired by the spirit, but I also know that the Bishop usually takes into account your home/family life too.

I don't know if there is a typical. I received a calling the first week. I've even heard of people waiting months or years.

[Leah]

The "standard" time frame for giving a calling to new members or reactivated members is 6 to 12 months.

Rarely is it sooner then 6 months & there are many cases where more then 12 months pass, but the "goal" is in a 6 to 12 month time-frame. In fact, missionaries have a form titled "New or Reactivated Member Progress" that is used to track member progress & it says a calling at 6 months.

As for the VT .... in my current ward 3 to 5, seems that has been about normal in every ward I've been in. For Home Teaching, every ward I've been in before this one has always been 4 or 5 families ... my current ward is 2 (a few 3 & a few 1, mostly 2). Every ward will be a little bit different though they try really hard to keep the number low.

Rides to church. Hmmm, it does take a lot to ask. We want to be independent, but remember, asking for a ride allows for others to have the opportunity to serve.

I don't remember which General Authority it was that taught this but it was back in the 80s ... Service is what Godhood is all about! When we allow others to serve us we allow them the opportunity to perform a sanctifying act, when we deny them the opportunity to serve we deny them the opportunity to perform a sanctifying act.

Allow people to serve you, to give you the rides, to help you however you need.

There will, in time, come the opportunity for you to serve others.

I don't know of anyone in the wards I've been in who had to wait so long for a calling. I find that surprising, especially as the church has taught that one of the things a convert should have to help them stay active is a calling.

VT varies, too. My last ward, it was unusual to have more than two.

Edited January 11, 2014 by Leah

[Quin]

My first calling required (roughly) 1 hour of my time, 5 times a year, bring your kids with you (RS Activites panel). There were over 30 women on the panel, and we got schtuff DONE.

My second calling would have been 10+ hours a week (in scouting), during the middle of my work day, that I graciously declined

Bishops usually do that; call you in and talk to you about whether you would be able to accept a calling, before placing it on you. As opposed to springing it on you on Sunday when asking for everyone to sustain something you're hearing about for the first time!!

There's the Golden quote I'll paraphrase: callings can come from inspiration, desperation, or relation.

Just because you're offered something, doesn't mean you have to accept it.

Even if inspired, instead of desired, it may well function to let your bishop know something he otherwise wouldn't. Like that I was working 2 jobs to make ends meet & had crazy hours. He had no idea things were that tight. Resulting from that meeting : carpooling to scouts, LDS Family Services, & a few other odds and ends that ended up meaning the world to me and my family. So I'd say it was definitely an inspired calling. Inspired by the Quin is a close-mouthed martyr (I type to gripe, all y'all get my loquaciousness in spades, IRL people I'm actually fairly reserved with) who refuses to ask for help, and the Spirit was sick of me being such a pain.

So stop fretting.

Q

[Sharky]

I don't know of anyone in the wards I've been in who had to wait so long for a calling. I find that surprising, especially as the church has taught that one of the things a convert should have to help them stay active is a calling.

VT varies, too. My last ward, it was unusual to have more than two.

I believe the New and Returning Member form specifies a responsibility or calling within 6 months. A VT assignment is generally considered a responsibility.

Yes, callings can help keep new & returning members active; however, they can also drive them away. The timing is always a concern that requires close attention as too much too soon can be just as or more detrimental as can waiting too long to give someone a calling.

Most Bishops & Stake Presidents that I have served with have been pretty set on 6+ months so as to allow the ward/auxiliary leadership to get to know the person & making sure the calling is a good fit or match so as to create a positive experience.

Statistically speaking, data going back 20+ years shows one of the most effective short mid & long range retention tools is getting new & returning members involved in Family History (4 generation & beyond) & not stopping just at family history.

Getting the new or returning member to the temple to do baptisms for the dead (preferably for their own family or family names of wards members they have connected with) just as soon as possible (if worthy, 30-days after baptism) & additional temple baptism trips during the 1st 6-months has been shown to have some of the greatest positive impacts in member retention.

[Iggy]

Do I just pull him aside or should I make an appointment to chat?

That'll sound great "oh, I know I'll get a calling soon... so just don't give me anything that demands too much time. One I could do at home would be great.". Won't it?

Make an appointment through his executive secretary.

Callings in church are not like paid jobs in the outside world. You do them from your home and from church. They all take time and effort.

I am the Librarian. The librarian's before me did not do their calling. I was called in May of 2013 - and as of last Sunday I have finally gotten the library in order. Part of my calling is to be 'On Call' for the members. Should the RS Evening meeting need items from the library prior to their once a month meeting, I then go to the church, get the items out of the library and then either stay there until they are done, or come back to put the items away.

My husband is Sunday School President. He got a call this morning from the youth SS teacher. She has a cold and cannot teach this Sunday. He will either call around and find a last minute substitute or more likely do it himself.

Our callings do not require us to leave home other than to get to church to fulfill them. All callings require time from you. Time in the home to prepare for it, if you are a teacher.

Visit Teaching does require you to go to the sister(s) home(s) - if you do not have a car readily available, tell your RS President - then she can match you up with a companion who DOES have a car. Speaking as the sister who had the car and did all the driving - my companion paid me $5.00 for gas every other month. She didn't at first, but after 9 months I finally talked with her about the stress of paying the gas. We had sisters that lived 15 miles from us - so that is 30 mile round trip. I also had a companion who would not go as a passenger in my car, or anyone else's car - so I paid her for gas.

Growing up, my family (siblings only) are converts - when my Dad could no longer drive (back injury) I got rides from church members. Husband and I give rides to members. All we ask is that you let us know by Saturday afternoon if you are or are not going to Church.

Speaking from experience, providing rides for others is only a burden when the ridee is not ready when I get there; does not call ahead to say they are NOT going to church; brings their breakfast along for the ride. We do eat in our car, but NOT when it is moving; lives farther away from church than we do and does not even offer to pay for gas.

[Sharky]

Growing up, my family (siblings only) are converts - when my Dad could no longer drive (back injury) I got rides from church members. Husband and I give rides to members. All we ask is that you let us know by Saturday afternoon if you are or are not going to Church.

Speaking from experience, providing rides for others is only a burden when the ridee is not ready when I get there; does not call ahead to say they are NOT going to church; brings their breakfast along for the ride. We do eat in our car, but NOT when it is moving; lives farther away from church than we do and does not even offer to pay for gas.

My one thought to add to this ....

If there are 2 or 3 different members that you can get rides from, rotate through them.

While I do not mind in the least giving rides to people, sometimes it is nice to make that drive with it being just us.

We never really think about it & we thrive on & jump at the opportunities to give rides & help others get to meetings/functions. We even call & volunteer to pick up anyone that we think might could use a ride. Yet sometimes when we don't have any passengers riding with us we realize how nice it is to just be the 2 of us for that 35-minute drive ... most weeks the only time all week we drive anywhere together is to church.

There are also times when say the husband might be away from home for work for several weeks or the wife might be visiting here parents out-of-state for a few weeks ... the 1st week or two after they are both back home it is nice to just have that time together as a family. So be sensitive those type of situations.

So I would suggest not always relying on the same people if there are a couple of different people that can be asked. It really is not a problem to give others rides but sometimes it is nice not to too, if that makes sense.

[Sharky]

My husband is Sunday School President. He got a call this morning from the youth SS teacher. She has a cold and cannot teach this Sunday. He will either call around and find a last minute substitute or more likely do it himself.

WHAT!?!?!?!?!

People actually call to say they won't be there to teach? I want to be in your ward!

[Leah]

I believe the New and Returning Member form specifies a responsibility or calling within 6 months. A VT assignment is generally considered a responsibility.

Yes, callings can help keep new & returning members active; however, they can also drive them away. The timing is always a concern that requires close attention as too much too soon can be just as or more detrimental as can waiting too long to give someone a calling.

Most Bishops & Stake Presidents that I have served with have been pretty set on 6+ months so as to allow the ward/auxiliary leadership to get to know the person & making sure the calling is a good fit or match so as to create a positive experience.

Statistically speaking, data going back 20+ years shows one of the most effective short mid & long range retention tools is getting new & returning members involved in Family History (4 generation & beyond) & not stopping just at family history.

Getting the new or returning member to the temple to do baptisms for the dead (preferably for their own family or family names of wards members they have connected with) just as soon as possible (if worthy, 30-days after baptism) & additional temple baptism trips during the 1st 6-months has been shown to have some of the greatest positive impacts in member retention.

Again, not my experience in my wards, and not the mindset of everyone. Just because do differently from your (seemingly inflexible) guidelines, doesn't make the experience of others less valid or "wrong".

I think the inflexibility of a specific timeline in your area is unfortunate. Those first months are crucial. Being given a calling during those months can do a great deal to strengthen a new or returning member's ties to the church and can foster a sense of belonging, not to mention (for some) a sense of worthiness. I am grateful that I live in an area where the Bishops and stake presidents aren't afraid to issue callings based on the individual circumstances instead of some arbitrary number. It's not a hard and fast rule, like the year wait for the temple.

[pam]

I agree with Leah. As long as they don't completely overwhelm a new member. I've seen that happen as well.

[bytebear]

I think it's important to note that the Bishop doesn't just get a vision of who should get a calling. He works off his knowledge, puts together a plan, and asks for spiritual confirmation. The more information you give him the better. He will use that to find the best calling for you, but the Holy Ghost may prompt him one way or the other, but it's far better that he can work things out with as much information as possible. A list on a dartboard is not a good starting point for anyone.

[Sharky]

Again, not my experience in my wards, and not the mindset of everyone. Just because do differently from your (seemingly inflexible) guidelines, doesn't make the experience of others less valid or "wrong".

I think the inflexibility of a specific timeline in your area is unfortunate. Those first months are crucial. Being given a calling during those months can do a great deal to strengthen a new or returning member's ties to the church and can foster a sense of belonging, not to mention (for some) a sense of worthiness. I am grateful that I live in an area where the Bishops and stake presidents aren't afraid to issue callings based on the individual circumstances instead of some arbitrary number. It's not a hard and fast rule, like the year wait for the temple.

Leah, I think you hit the nail right on the head CAN DO a great deal of strengthening.

It can also do a lot of harm if pushed to much or too fast.

As for the "arbitrary number", the form I referenced is put out by Salt Lake & yes, they are just guidelines to be used by Priesthood Leaders as they prayerfully and spiritually consider what is or would be the best course of action in helping each member, new & old alike.

As bytebear said ... the Bishop works with his knowledge to form a plan with spiritual guidance & confirmation.

[Iggy]

WHAT!?!?!?!?!

People actually call to say they won't be there to teach? I want to be in your ward!

Until my calling as Librarian, I was the Substitute Teacher for everyone EXCEPT PH. Primary used me the most. But then we got more families in our Branch. (only 40 more people and we can move up to Ward-dom)

We want you too!! Need a house that is 2 bdrm, 1 bath - comes with washer/dryer, range, fridge and upright freezer. Lot rent is $300.00 a month and that includes water and septic. Garbage pick-up is every week and only costs $22.00 a month. Basic electric is $17.00 and then $0.0063 per kwh. Example: We used 2078 kwh for December - the bill is $148.12. My home is 1500 sq. ft. It is a small double wide manufactured, 768 sq. feet. The owners are asking $6,000. But if you can't swing that, they will take $1,000 to $2,000 down and $300 to $500 a month till it is paid off. The son told me, that if someone can pay $3000 cash, he will convince his dad to take that and be Happy, Happy, Happy.

The house is next door to me, and I will *convince* the mobile court owner to accept you and NOT raise the lot rent just because you are new.