My child is two-faced


Bini
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I say that teasingly but it is kind of true. My kiddo is such a cuddle bug during the day, I'm like her favourite person, for everything. But not when daddy is home. There's like this instant transformation from wanting me to hold her all day to not even wanting me to touch her. I get that she's with me most of the day and she's excited to see daddy but.. it's a pretty severe swing from best friend to foe. She will ignore me sometimes as well. Any suggestions? She's 2.

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All of my children except the oldest showed a marked preference for my wife instead of me. (I spent a lot of time with our oldest when he was very small, so he seemed to sort of equally prefer us. Except when it came to nursing.)

My advice is to smile about it and, inside your own mind, congratulate your child on having such excellent taste as to prefer the very person YOU prefer. With me, eventually the children started liking me better and better, until now I run a fairly close second to my wife in their minds.

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When my so was that age, he did the exact same thing. One day he said, "Mommy, I love you with enough love to fill the earth and sky, but I love DADDY with enough love to fill the earth and the sky and the rocks and the trees, and the grass and the dirt!"

I never let it bother me (I thought it was cute). I knew that he loved me, but I kind of created the situation myself. Whenever Daddy would come home, I would excitedly point out that daddy was home. It would be a big deal to see him. I was with him all day long, and there was no one to "throw a party" of get excited when I walked into the room.

There will be phases when dad is the favorite and phases when mom is the favorite.

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My older daughter has been a daddy's girl from day one, and I was okay with that at first -- I'm a daddy's girl. But she never grew into a balance, which was hard for me. Anyway, when my daughter was two and a few months (actually, just about the same age as Bini's daughter is now), I went to Girls Camp for four days -- I was the ward YW president at the time. On Friday, when I got home, I showered, and then went to pick her up from the babysitter's house (her daddy was still at work). When she saw me come through the door...I don't know quite how to explain it. She just lit up completely. I don't think I'd ever seen her so excited to see me! I had honestly expected her to be a little disappointed that I wasn't Daddy. But no -- she ran full speed and launched into my arms. (I know it wasn't that she didn't like the babysitter.) I was so happy in that moment.

So basically Bini, I guess what I'm saying is, you should go away for four days, and then she'll be excited to see you. :)

Just kidding.

But I get it. My younger daughter is just a month or so younger than yours, and she's in the same phase right now.

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I think your daughter is just expressing her personality. Her world is her mother and her father and this is how she gets a good balance of both. As she gets older and if siblings come along, she will adapt to how she feels about and relates to her parents. I think your daughter is behaving very normally.

M.

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I'm not really hurt over it. But it does become a bit problematic when DH has to attend to something else, so then I'm needed to take over, and change her pull-up or whatever. That's when she makes a fuss and insists on daddy doing it. She's been a daddy's girl since she was a wee infant, really.

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I think the daddy's girl thing at 2 is typical and a very good thing. The love and adoration a little girl gets from her father will go a long way in preventing problems in teen and adult years. The time she insists on spending with him will teach her that she is worthy of love, beautiful, and it will show her what kind of treatment to demand from a future spouse. A girl with a close relationship with her father is not likely to get pregnant as a teen, less likely to marry an abuser, etc...

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