Getting antsy...


Bini
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Parents I need some advice. As you know, I'm looking into Montessori/preschool programmes for my daughter who is 2.5. Am I sending her off too early?

I'm a SAHM and love it. The good days always outweigh the frustrating days. But, I'm an adult and I think my daughter needs interaction with other kids her age. I'm getting mixed feelings on this though. One friend says I should keep her home as long as I can and enjoy these times, another friend says she's at a great age to be enrolled and to absorb new things. To clarify, I'm only considering a few hours - not full day - that's totally unnecessary at this point. I'm gearing up for an appointment at one of the Montessories (not the religion affiliated one) and I need to iron out some of these questions.

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There are literally hundreds or thousands of ways to give your daughter opportunities for social interaction. Play groups are common. Find homeschooling parents near you; they are experts at finding and/or creating social situations for their children.

My suggestion would be: Do Montessori if you want your daughter educated using Montessori. If you're looking for social interaction, don't enroll her in a specialized structured program; just find social interaction for her.

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At 2 and a half, your daughter is a sponge, absorbing everything that comes her way. It doesn't really matter where she is or what she's doing, she's absorbing. In my opinion, there is no organization or group or school or philosophy or type of person or group of people, that is "better" for your daughter at this age, besides her immediate family. In my opinion, whatever Montesorri or any other group has to offer, your daughter won't get any more out of it than she would a trip to a new park, or meeting a new neighbor, or being with any other group of kids.

In other words, if you're sold on some sort of structured program of some kind, you're being a good mom. Moms who aren't sold on that, are also good moms.

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I disagree with the above. Montessori is a completely different ball of wax than your regular day school.

Children can benefit greatly from a Montessori philosophy from age ZERO. If you decide to put your child in Montessori... great! If you decide to keep her at home... then make your home a Montessori classroom. There are lots of resources online. It is, of course, easier to send them to a Montessori School because then you'll have the benefit of all the resources in the classroom that you don't have to buy yourself and the Montessori-certified facilitators that know what to do with them instead of needing to figure this out on your own.

The Montessori philosophy is not about pushing information on the child. It is about directing a child's natural curiosity to productive outlets. So, this is not just a trip to a new park. It is full IMMERSION in that new park and how it can lead to other related creative outlets maximizing that specific curiousity. If you notice, children can get into these one-track curiousities and if it is not directed, it just peters out unsatisfied and forgotten. It's a missed opportunity because once a new curiousity replaces it, it may take a long time before the child goes back to that curiosity. For example, my kid went through a reptile stage. He was into anything snakes and lizards... at age 3 (after he got over dinosaurs). So he learned every single thing about it. He can look at a snake in a picture and tell you what kind it is and whether it is venomous or not. He learned colors from ball python morphs. He learned to count using lizards - how many has tails, how many lost their tails - including the basics of addition and subtraction. Once that curiousity was exhausted, he moved on to another thing. But, when he started 2nd grade, addition and subtraction was easy because he already has a basic idea of how to do it because of the lizards. Now he's in 5th grade and they did a lesson on reptiles. Easy for him. He already has a foundation of all that stuff because he maximized that curiousity long ago. His curiousity right now is US History - things like Plymouth Rock, Pilgrims, American Presidents and such. His Science, Math, and Language work is tailored to US History things. He loves it.

You will find that Montessori schools prefer the parents to be actively involved in the school. Of course, in today's American Society, parents don't usually send little toddlers to school unless they can't take care of them at home, so Montessori schools have to adapt to very minimal parental involvement - so they make their parent-required interaction to the bare minimum that passes accreditation standards. But, if you let the Montessori know that you are more than willing to immerse yourself in your child's Montessori experience, they'll jump up and down with joy and make you an integral part of that classroom.

You know those 2 guys that started Google? They credit their Montessori background for their Google vision. The Googleplex is basically structured like a giant Montessori. Another one is P. Diddy. He credits his diverse creative juices to his Montessori foundation.

But I'm sure you already know all that.

Edited by anatess
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I didn't send my kids off to any kind of preschool until the year before they started Kindergarten. I feel like those "little" years go by too quickly, anyway. I want to have them home for as long and as much as possible (barring homeschooling, which hasn't yet felt right for us).

But that is my family. What you decide, and what works for yours, could be totally different.

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I am not sure 2.5 is too young. I sent my grandson to preschool at age 3.

I considered home schooling and looked into the State curriculum for Kindergarten. I was impressed. This year they took half the 1st grad curriculum and are teaching it in Kindergarten. When we went to Kindergarten Roundup parents were told if children do not have preschool they are behind when they start Kindergarten. Now we're half way through this year of Kindergarten and I see it. The kids who didn't have at least one year of preschool are behind, some seriously behind.

They need to know their number names and sounds before Kindergarten now... this year - 2014. They need to know their numbers and simple math. 1 apple plus 1 apple equals two apples...this year - 2014. My question is: What are they going to need to know in 2.5 years? More? I would guess yes.

The other issue I'm starting to run into is the Common Core curriculum. My grandson will continue to attend public school until it doesn't work anymore, but I'm already having to teach math at home. He learns quickly and he's bored with Math Mountains. Fortunately we live in an area where parents are very involved and we have a high expectation of excellence from teachers, principles and parents.

P.S. I completely agree with Eowyn's sentiment. These little ones are too young. Unfortunately our world is pushing and if we don't prepare them either at home or in school they will be behind. Ultimately, it is a parents responsibility to choose what is best for their child. Sometimes that varies from child to child and not just family to family. :)

Edited by applepansy
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I am not sure 2.5 is too young. I sent my grandson to preschool at age 3.

I considered home schooling and looked into the State curriculum for Kindergarten. I was impressed. This year they took half the 1st grad curriculum and are teaching it in Kindergarten. When we went to Kindergarten Roundup parents were told if children do not have preschool they are behind when they start Kindergarten. Now we're half way through this year of Kindergarten and I see it. The kids who didn't have at least one year of preschool are behind, some seriously behind.

They need to know their number names and sounds before Kindergarten now... this year - 2014. They need to know their numbers and simple math. 1 apple plus 1 apple equals two apples...this year - 2014. My question is: What are they going to need to know in 2.5 years? More? I would guess yes.

The other issue I'm starting to run into is the Common Core curriculum. My grandson will continue to attend public school until it doesn't work anymore, but I'm already having to teach math at home. He learns quickly and he's bored with Math Mountains. Fortunately we live in an area where parents are very involved and we have a high expectation of excellence from teachers, principles and parents.

P.S. I completely agree with Eowyn's sentiment. These little ones are too young. Unfortunately our world is pushing and if we don't prepare them either at home or in school they will be behind. Ultimately, it is a parents responsibility to choose what is best for their child. Sometimes that varies from child to child and not just family to family. :)

About kids being behind... In the whole scheme of things.... Being behind at Kindergarten doesn't matter unless the child has a learning disability. They eventually catch up.

What is important at this age is establishing a learning process - a learning habit - and the desire to learn, not necessarily knowing to add and subtract by age 5.

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About kids being behind... In the whole scheme of things.... Being behind at Kindergarten doesn't matter unless the child has a learning disability. They eventually catch up.

What is important at this age is establishing a learning process - a learning habit - and the desire to learn, not necessarily knowing to add and subtract by age 5.

I agree. Elementary school is suppose to teach kids how to learn. That's how it was when I was a kid. It was different when my kids were in Elementary school (I'm still struggling to teach my kids that learning is a lifetime skill :( ) and I see an even bigger difference with my grandson (but he loves to learn and I can't keep up :) ).

The kids who are behind in my grandson's class are struggling. Even though steps are being taken to help them catch up, there is already a "scale" "pecking order" (?... not sure the word I want. Neither of those work). Kids know who is reading well and who is struggling to remember that C is a C and sounds like see or ka.

We're half way through the year. The site words they are suppose know right now are: can, I, The, we, be, like, for, do, a, on, see, go, as, to, that, have, you, is, play, his, are, this. Those are just the ones we work on this week. There are more added and the list gets longer each week.

If the kids don't know what they need to know, then being behind means they aren't ready for the next step. Most of the kids who didn't have preschool or know their letters, sounds and numbers before starting kindergarten (this can be taught at home) are struggling. They aren't ready for the next step.

I volunteer in Kindergarten and 3rd grade once a week. What I'm seeing is kids in 3rd grade who were behind in Kindergarten are still behind. My job for an hour once a week is to help the 3 kids in the 3rd grade class I work in catch up. I'm seeing issues of self worth in these kids.

So, While I agree with you in principle. In practice and daily life at school saying that being behind in Kindergarten doesn't matter just isn't the reality anymore. Kindergarten is the new 1st grade. Preschool is the new Kindergarten. And that is just plain sad....but its the reality.

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Bini, I read your opening post again. Are you doing regular play dates?

Play Dates are new to me. When my kids were growing up I just sent them outside and they played with whomever was outside. They ended up in my house or friends' houses but... friends were around. My toddlers got lots of interaction with other children because their older siblings had friends in and out a lot.

Raising an only child has been a challenge for me. I have to plan the social interaction. We have to do play dates. And play dates are the culture now....at least here. I've established relationships with 3-4 other mothers in my ward/area who have children in the general age range as my grandson. I have their kids over, and they invite my grandson over. Now he's in Kindergarten his circle of friends is growing and the play date thing is becoming more complicated (partly because I live in a rural area) Its been good, but a challenge for me. I'm older than dirt and I have health issues.

I digress... :) Play Dates will give your daughter the social interaction, without formal preschool. at her young age. And you'll have her home more with you right now, which is important.

bottom line: Be prayerful. Follow your feelings. Your feelings will often be the Spirit whispering to you.

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If the kids don't know what they need to know, then being behind means they aren't ready for the next step. Most of the kids who didn't have preschool or know their letters, sounds and numbers before starting kindergarten (this can be taught at home) are struggling. They aren't ready for the next step.

I volunteer in Kindergarten and 3rd grade once a week. What I'm seeing is kids in 3rd grade who were behind in Kindergarten are still behind. My job for an hour once a week is to help the 3 kids in the 3rd grade class I work in catch up. I'm seeing issues of self worth in these kids.

So, While I agree with you in principle. In practice and daily life at school saying that being behind in Kindergarten doesn't matter just isn't the reality anymore. Kindergarten is the new 1st grade. Preschool is the new Kindergarten. And that is just plain sad....but its the reality.

Kids who were behind in Kindergarten who are still behind in 3rd Grade does not have that problem because they didn't get Pre-K. Those kids are behind because they were never taught how to learn, don't have the support at home, or are just not motivated to succeed. The Self-Worth issue is a telling indicator of this. Having self-worth issues because you can't read in Kindergarten is a School problem, not a Child problem.

In normal circumstances, when a school is not working out for a child, you just move to a different school. Well, not in the United States of America's Public School System. Hence, the disdain of most of us parents!

I'll give you an example - my kid is the youngest in class due to how the age-cut-off worked out for him. Due to his bday, there are kids in the class who are around 2 weeks shy of 12 months older than he is. These kids seemed smarter and much bigger than my kid. They were reading Magic Tree House in First Grade. My kid is still on picture books - it's just what he's interested in. I didn't care. He can read Magic Tree House when he's ready. But, knowing my kid, I know he's very very sharp and he has no learning disabilities - well, except for he has a hard time with the traditional method of sitting still and sitting quiet while the teacher teaches. He's the bane of teachers in Elementary School - the problem child - so much so that he is usually seated far from everybody in class - and there are even instances where the other kids call his chair out there in the corner the "problem chair". By the time he's in 4th Grade - the big kids were towering over him. But he can out-read and out-math all of them. He was one of the 3 kids in school that got 5's in the FCATs. By the time he's in middle school, he's just as big as they all are and he's still smarter... Self-worth was never an issue because he lives in my house. He knows what his real worth is.

And yes, that has a negative side to it... He comes home with F's on his Progress Report in Middle School and he doesn't care. I get mad at him, and he tells me - you know that's just a grade. You know I'm an A student. It's just that the teacher hates me. So we go around the mulberry bush with that one.

Edited by anatess
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Anatess, I agree with most of what you're saying. But there is a difference in schools today. We are teaching children younger and younger. Parents haven't caught up yet. And that's a fact I'm seeing with my own eyes.

My sister put my nephew (her 2nd oldest in 2nd grade after Kindergarten. She had to fight the school to get it done. He was ready. Some kids aren't ready for kindergarten at 5 and need to be held back a year. Often because of where their birthday lands in the calendar year. Both of the little boys my grandson's age in our ward have birthdays in the spring. One month and two months after my grandson's birthday. Their parents chose to keep them out another year. But both also realize there is some learning that needs to be done BEFORE they go to Kindergarten. Everychild is different and its up the the parents first and the school 2nd to tailor the teaching to fit the child.

All that doesn't change the fact that schools are expecting children to know more BEFORE they get to Kindergarten. Parents needs to be aware of this and then do what is best for their child.

Edited by applepansy
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Parents I need some advice. As you know, I'm looking into Montessori/preschool programmes for my daughter who is 2.5. Am I sending her off too early?

I'm a SAHM and love it. The good days always outweigh the frustrating days. But, I'm an adult and I think my daughter needs interaction with other kids her age. I'm getting mixed feelings on this though. One friend says I should keep her home as long as I can and enjoy these times, another friend says she's at a great age to be enrolled and to absorb new things. To clarify, I'm only considering a few hours - not full day - that's totally unnecessary at this point. I'm gearing up for an appointment at one of the Montessories (not the religion affiliated one) and I need to iron out some of these questions.

Its your choice which way you will go. I taught in Montessories school many moons ago their very good options. But the first option for me would be to keep my child home with me as long as possible, they can learn a lot

in the home. They grow up so fast. I think home schooling is a great choice as well, but its not 4 everyone. Dont let the social thing become a issue, because its not one. Your child is social with her family, has church friends, and friends in the neighborhood You need to weigh out your choices!! You can always change direction if you need too. Dont forget to pray about it!!

Edited by Roseslipper
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  • 2 weeks later...

I reflected on everyone's advice when I went to checkout the one Montessori. I was really excited about it, they seemed to have a wonderful setup, and it was CLEAN - which is a huge deal for me because I'm a germaphobe... Anyway, I have chosen at this point NOT to enrol her just yet. I have a hard enough time leaving her with the grandparents for a night or two so DH and I can have alone time, I'm not sure I really want to send her off everyday for several hours with non-family. Still, the social interaction proves to be non-existent. She doesn't do anything with the kids in her ward, nor do we have any young kids in our immediate neighbourhood - I think the youngest kids we even know of are seniors in high school. She is participating in dance class twice a week and enjoys that but hasn't shown much interest in wanting to spend additional time with any of those girls, nor have any of them really seemed that interested in my daughter post-classes. She still does the occasional playdate with some of my friends but since we moved, we are at least a good hour away from each other, and it's always so hard to arrange a place and time to meet up.

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