Stop Cosleeping!


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:( Never had to do that. We didn't co-sleep after I quit nursing. Even then the baby was in a bassinet or crib next to my bed and not actually IN my bed.

Even so kids have bad dreams and such so getting in and out of bed at night is stressful for Moms. Consistency and rewards help. With my grandson I give him something to think about when he goes to bed. When I started doing that bad dreams stopped and he stayed in his own bed longer and longer. Now he asks "What should I think about tonight?" :)

And... Remember... Kids are smarter than we often give them credit for. Explain why, explain the rules, explain the consequences, and explain the rewards. :)

Good Luck.

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Sorry, no suggestions here.

Just sharing some experience....

We didn't bother trying to break the cosleeping habit. When both kids were already born, we had a queen-size bed. All 4 of us would pile up like sardines on there with the dog...

The kids were 5 and 3 years old when we moved to another house. They each had their own bedrooms with a connecting door through the bathroom. They were so excited to have this new house with their rooms that they helped decorate that they started sleeping in their rooms, but the 3 year old would climb into his brother's bed, so we made his room the play room and moved his bed into his brother's. But in the middle of the night, both of them would climb into our bed - we have a king-size one by this time.

Now they're 10 and 12... the 12-year-old quit going to our bedroom when he started closing doors (between 10 and 11 years old). His brother just followed suit. We started missing the kids. The bed got too spacious there for a while. Then the 12-year-old started sleeping in the multi-purpose room upstairs to be farther from his brother who still climbs into bed with him, so now the 10 year old climbs into our bed again...

We figured, they'll eventually decide to separate from us. I didn't want to hasten the event.

About intimacy... we lock the bedroom doors when my husband and I want to be alone. The kids know it's our bedroom and know not to bother us until the doors open. It works out just fine.

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I always saw cosleeping as a partnership, and if any partner isn't happy with the arrangement anymore, it has to change. That can be child, mom, or dad.

We moved the child to his/her bed in our room for awhile, and then made a big deal out of putting the bed in their room. After sickness or something we'd lose a little ground and have to go back to re-teaching them to sleep in their bed; mostly putting them back over and over. But they get it.

Do you have a routine? Bath, book, talk time, prayer? That helps.

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What happened a few weeks ago then?

A few weeks ago she woke up screaming bloody murder. Not sure if it was a nightmare - she's pretty young - but it very well could be. That night DH and I took turns trying to comfort her but she kept wailing and screaming, "big bed", which is our bed. We decided to try leaving, and seeing if she'd settle down, but she's so freakin' stubborn and strong willed (much like me I guess) and would continue scream/crying for hours! My husband is a very light sleeper and is a very early riser for work - so we decided to revert back to our cosleeping ways, temporarily, for that night we thought. Well it's been going on now for a few weeks. She'll initially lay down in her own bed but like clockwork, will wake up around the same time, and tantrum her way into our room. Once she's in our room, she's fine, but my husband is not sleeping well and he says it's affecting his day at work. I looked in the mirror the other day, and noticed major dark circles under my eyes, so I'm not really getting the best sleep either it seems. She's just moving around too much, has restless limbs as she dreams, and mummy and daddy aren't taking it so well.

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I always saw cosleeping as a partnership, and if any partner isn't happy with the arrangement anymore, it has to change. That can be child, mom, or dad.

We moved the child to his/her bed in our room for awhile, and then made a big deal out of putting the bed in their room. After sickness or something we'd lose a little ground and have to go back to re-teaching them to sleep in their bed; mostly putting them back over and over. But they get it.

Do you have a routine? Bath, book, talk time, prayer? That helps.

Yes, she does a bath every other night but gets story time every night - two books usually - sometimes three if daddy isn't dead tired.

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Does she sleep heavily enough that you could move her to her own bed after she falls asleep? Temporary solution, but it could help for the short term.

Yes, we are already doing this but the whole routine of waking up - crashing our bed - is consistent still. Ugh, so frustrating.

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I always saw cosleeping as a partnership, and if any partner isn't happy with the arrangement anymore, it has to change. That can be child, mom, or dad.

.

Remember that guy who went on strike and slept on the roof of his house until his wife considers getting the kid weaned from cosleeping? I felt bad for the dude! Up I think other dads joined him or something...

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Remember that guy who went on strike and slept on the roof of his house until his wife considers getting the kid weaned from cosleeping? I felt bad for the dude! Up I think other dads joined him or something...

Wow. I can't imagine that. Sounds like the wife isn't the least bit concerned about her husband's well-being.

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Guest LiterateParakeet
A few weeks ago she woke up screaming bloody murder. Not sure if it was a nightmare - .

I'm no child psychologist, :D but it seems like she is having bad dreams and is afraid to be alone in her bed. If she were my daughter, I would let her sleep with me for awhile, but since you mentioned that is not working out for you or your husband then my next choice would be to use something herbal or homeopathic to help soothe her. My daughter had night terrors, it was awful. We used a homeopathic, and it helped a lot. I can't remember the name of it, Rock Rose or something like that. I am also not trained in homeopathics, but as I said that helped us.

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No suggestions. My daughter just turned one and we're slowly trying to wean her off of co-sleeping. It became the norm after my husband left for summer training. My husband likes having the baby in bed with us, but we do fear her refusing a big girl bed. We start her off in the crib, let her sleep with us if she wakes up, but then try to move her back when she can.

But.. she is younger than yours.

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We tried the hard knock approach, again... It's the most painful route to go, with all the screaming for endless hours, but grandparents assured us that tough love works. Well, it did, after two nights of her having ongoing tantrums in her room, we just ignored it... They were two tough nights but they were right. She has been pretty dang good lately and has figured out that we aren't going to bring her into our bed just because she's yelling.

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  • 2 weeks later...

We had a problem getting our oldest daughter to sleep in her bed.  We were exhausted and out of options.  We had tried everything.  One night she came into our room (she was almost 3) and I just felt like groaning.  Then I had a burst of inspiration.  I told her that Daddy was going to fart really loud and it was going to smell.  I also told her that after Daddy farted we would start picking each other's noses.  She looked at me like we were crazy, turned around and went back to her own bed.  She never slept with us again.  It was a gross thing to say, but it worked.

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