Baby hungry...


Guest
 Share

Recommended Posts

We don't want more children. I can't handle more children. My twins are 3 today, and the last 4 years have been the hardest of my life.

But my heart and arms ache for a baby. Does that ever go away?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Luckily, I now have grandchildren that helps ease the ache.

I believe the yearning for babies is God given. If we had no desire to snuggle and love a baby, would we ever get pregnant and go through child birth? Why on earth would we ever put our bodies through that?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have two children. I'm done. I always wanted a bigger family, because I'm one of only three, and we're really spread out. But my mental health can't handle more than two. And my husband is sure he can't handle more sleepless newborn nights. We're happy with our small family, and feel that it's complete.

Besides having one of those "moments" where I watched my girls playing together and had an epiphany of happiness in the knowledge that my family was complete (I had thought it before, but I knew it then), I've had several confirmations since. I discovered that I could hold and love and cuddle and rock a newborn (friends' babies), without wanting one of my own. It was a good feeling, not having that ache. One of my best friends had a baby last month. It was a really bad pregnancy, and she also has a two-year-old who was born with a severe heart condition (that has since resolved) after another difficult pregnancy. We've been close friends since we first met, but I've grown in my love for her through service in the last two years. Holding her new baby actually almost brings me to tears, because I love the baby so much, but I don't have the ache. I'm not sure if it makes sense, but I think the tears come because I want to cuddle and love my friend's new baby as if it were my own, because it does feel good, but I know that I don't want another of my own.

Yeah, that really doesn't make much sense. I think I just wanted to contribute so that you know you're loved and sympathized with, Eowyn.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've had baby yearnings for over 20 years. And I still have them. I honestly don't know if that will ever go away. I've accepted that I won't have a baby (and at my age, I'm kind of glad about it--can't imagine what pregnancy would do to my old woman body and all those sleepless nights afterwards). But, I sometimes have the urge to cuddle and snuggle with my own baby. Holding other children just makes that urge more profound as I know it isn't my child to take home with me and I don't snuggle with them as I would like (not sure how the ma or pa would feel if I began nibbling on the cheeks of their kids).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm maybe different than a lot of other mothers because I hated the newborn stage. Other than my daughter being a beautiful child, there wasn't anything good about that time period for me, and that probably has a lot to do with having PPD and trying to handle a colicky baby as a first time mother. I often envied friends that had happy and easy going newborns. So far, my favourite stage is the toddler age, and there are days I wish my daughter would be 2.5 forever! It's strange because initially I wanted more kids, for sure two, and possibly three. And my husband was iffy on that, at least, having three. Now I'm feeling pretty good about stopping at one, despite, a lot of pressure from all directions (family, friends, strangers) to have at least one more... It's possible that this is it for us but my husband desperately wants a second. We're currently talking about it but from the looks of it, probably won't entertain a third.

But I think being baby hungry is pretty normal. Even grandma has said a few times that she misses those moments of holding a small baby, as it reminds her of raising and nurturing her own children. I agree that the motherly instinct is something God has placed in us so we can fulfil all the demands of motherhood - because let's face it - if we didn't love our children unconditionally as we do, we probably would never voluntarily go through pregnancy and raising kids from babe to young adults just for fun.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm with Bini. So, I can't really relate to the "baby hunger". I've never had one.

My favorite stage is right now (oldest is 12). I like that I can reason with the kids now. We have sooo much more things we can talk about. Just a few minutes ago we were arguing the proper periapsis and apoapsis so his space station won't bounce off the atmosphere. Half the time I have no idea what they're talking about but it's fun to figure it out...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes and no. I still get baby hungry and I'm 56. I wish my kids were having more grandbabies faster. If I was in better health and able to have another baby, I would. My grandson needs a sibling. :) My husband is thankful that I can't get pregnant anymore. LOL Poor guy! :)

I understand why newborns are stressful but the newborn stage is my most favorite time. :) I love babies! I'm in heaven with a newborn. Monday I had the opportunity to tend a 3-month old little boy. He has reflux really bad so his Mom is picky about who she leaves him with. All my babies and all my nephews and niece had it too. It was wonderful to sit and play with a little one. What I think is best is when they fall asleep on your chest and you can take a nap together. :)

Twins is another story. Its just plain hard. My baby sister's twins are 17 now. Eowyn, it will get easier.

edit: I agree with Classylady. This yearning for a baby is God-given. I think its something we need or why would we ever go through a pregnancy, delivery and post partum.

Edited by applepansy
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Every 2 years like clockwork!

So I blame hormones.

Don't get me wrong, the baby-cravings I'm talking about are vastly different from the heart-glow wanting to add another child to your family. I still get those from time to time (at present, with the tinge of regret/never going to happen)... Which are TOTALLY different from the 'Widdle fwingers, and beeeeeeeg eyes, and new baby smell, and snuggles, and wuuuuuuv" would-you-just-stop-that! baby cravings that hit every 2 years.

Most women I know get the cravings ever 18mo-3years.

Including after they are done-done-done

Until menopause.

I find puppies help!

The whole durn cycle of baaaaaaaby to teen in about 6 months.

Awesome.

All the annoying parts condensed, AND you can crate them when you need a break!

How cool is that?

Other people's babies are hit or miss.

Sometimes they help scratch the itch

Sometimes they make the itch worse!

Q

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Even I get a little baby hungry from time to time. I've had a couple bouts in the past two weeks as I have worked with a couple of first time parents. I love the look in their eyes when they confess having been so unprepared for how they would feel about having a child. I love the awe in their face when I tell them I've never had so much fun in my life as being a parent.

I didn't really enjoy the newborn phase, but I do still miss having a child fall asleep in my arms. I'll never stop missing that. And the fact that I remember not really enjoying the newborn phase is what keeps me in check. I've come to understand that I'm not purely baby hungry--I'm hungry for the parts I liked best about having a baby. That realization makes it a little easier to weather the baby hungry moments.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I love babies the most. Of course my wife would likely say I didn't have to deal with the hard parts. She's right but I've loved every stage so far with my children. However, there is no denying that the baby stage is my most favorite. Once my children get a bit older and I can no longer hold them in my hands, or have them fall asleep on my chest, or smell that newborn baby smell, or feel their soft baby skin, I start missing that and I want another baby. I also love the feeling of knowing that at least at the baby stage I can protect them and keep them safe from almost anything and that barring special circumstances, like serious illness, I can take care of the issues that my babies have. For the most part as long as the baby is clean, fed, and sheltered they are content and happy.

On a more selfish level, I may be a nobody to most of the world, but at least to my children I'm somebody. The older they get the more they find out how awfully flawed I am! So, the baby stage is the best because they think I'm pretty awesome at that point. My fourteen year old, for instance, has pretty much grown past that stage. :lol:

Lately, when we gather our family together at night for scriptures and prayer I've been feeling like somebody is missing. The impression is so strong that even with all the family there I keep waiting for everyone to show up until I finally realize that all five of my kids and wife are there.

I'm not saying I'm an awesome or great dad, but I love being a dad and I miss having a small baby in the house. My children have brought more joy in to my life than pretty much anything else I can think of. Luckily Mrs. Finrock seems to be on board with the idea of adding a new member to our family.

-Finrock

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share