OW4lyf Posted July 8, 2014 Report Share Posted July 8, 2014 And he's only the grand old age of 18 months. Every month I transfer the mission savings to his bank account I want to cry. I know this is pathetic and if he is called to serve it is an honour but the idea of my sweet innocent little boy being sent to any old place to talk to people that can be so cruel about the church breakes my heart. How do people get their head round sending their children off on missions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefche Posted July 8, 2014 Report Share Posted July 8, 2014 I don't have kids, so I can't answer your direct question. But I served a mission. As hard as it was (and it was one of the hardest things I've done), it was life changing and I LOVED it. For all the bad stuff that happened (either by the persecutions we had or stupid stuff that happened), I would not change anything about it. It was such a wonderful part of life that I envy those who are going now. Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
classylady Posted July 8, 2014 Report Share Posted July 8, 2014 Your son is only a baby now. Of course you don't want to let him go. It's easier by the time they are 18 years old. I've been a missionary and I've had several of my children go on missions. It is a wonderful experience! Hard, but so worth it. I've seen the growth my children made, and I'm so grateful they went. Those two years will go by whether they are on a mission or not. They could opt to go to college far away, or opt to travel on their own in far away dangerous lands. As a parent, we have to cut the apron strings and let them live their lives. As a mother, I was grateful for the choices my children made who went on missions. I don't worry about their spiritual well-being like I do my children who chose not to serve missions Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OW4lyf Posted July 8, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2014 I spoke to my husband about it just now and after laughing and calling me hormonal wreck. Pointed out what is better him going on a mission or going to university at the impressionable age and being surrounded by young people who are getting blind drunk and doing other dangerious things. Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bytor2112 Posted July 8, 2014 Report Share Posted July 8, 2014 My oldest has been serving since March of 2013...time flies and he will be home soon. He serves in the Italy Milan mission and absolutely loves being a missionary. It was an emotional time saying farewell for a while...but all for the best. His personal growth has been immense. My youngest is at BYU in Provo and will soon trek out on a mission as well. All I can say is that it is a great blessing to know that my sons have thus far kept themselves out of the world and want and are worthy to serve. Since my son left for his mission his great grandmother passed away, his grandmother passed away and a couple of weeks ago, I had a heart attack and nearly passed away. He has handled all of these trials in a manner far exceeding his age. Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slamjet Posted July 8, 2014 Report Share Posted July 8, 2014 And he's only the grand old age of 18 months. Every month I transfer the mission savings to his bank account I want to cry. I know this is pathetic and if he is called to serve it is an honour but the idea of my sweet innocent little boy being sent to any old place to talk to people that can be so cruel about the church breakes my heart. How do people get their head round sending their children off on missions? I'm a glass-half-empty kind of guy and I find this to be over-the-top. Your kid is going to get teased and messed with starting in pre-school, if not earlier (like, by dad), about all kinds of things other than Mormonism. Aim at teaching your child how to think and act independently then when you release him to the world, he'll have the skills to make up his own mind and not be a lemming. So far I've got one who's out of the house and she's doing just fine, especially being newlywed-ish, pregnant, and planing her families future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiterateParakeet Posted July 9, 2014 Report Share Posted July 9, 2014 My oldest son is out now, and it was hard to let him go. And it was hard when he was robbed at gun point 4 times in 7 weeks! But, as the others said, I served a mission, and although it was really tough, it was so worth it! I believe it will be the same for my son. And yes--better there than pledging to some fraternity and being hazed! It's understandable that you feel this way when he is young and your only child so far. Try not to worry and just relish each day as it comes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quin Posted July 9, 2014 Report Share Posted July 9, 2014 It gets easier at 2 years... The last of our fleeting sanity usually trudges home and decides to stick around until the next time we baby up, and it runs off again. It gets easier at preschool... After searching and searching and schmoozing and waiting lists and staying up all night tearful, with a grin plastered on our faces the next morning, savings tears for the car so they won't know how monumentally freaked out we are. It gets easier at Kindergarten... After you repeat the preschool freak out the night before & the panic attack in the car after they've gone. But it's not as bad as the first one. It gets easier. There are 10,000 "firsts", and they all combine to make the next first, just a little bit easier. Skinned knees, hurt feelings, I hate you mommy, first ER trip, first grounding, first lost in the store, first dates, first heartbreak, first didn't make the team, first kisses. 10,000 steps to independence. Until, you're laughing and sending them off to sleepovers, and camps, and band trips to Irelamd or Disneyland, or language trips to Japan or Spain. A junior year summer internship abroad. Tossing them the keys to the car.ALL of these before mission calls. And that's only of he goes young. He may leave for college or enlist in the military, and go on mission at 22. Or 25. Baby steps, mama. Baby steps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seminarysnoozer Posted July 9, 2014 Report Share Posted July 9, 2014 And he's only the grand old age of 18 months. Every month I transfer the mission savings to his bank account I want to cry. I know this is pathetic and if he is called to serve it is an honour but the idea of my sweet innocent little boy being sent to any old place to talk to people that can be so cruel about the church breakes my heart. How do people get their head round sending their children off on missions?I found the best way for me was to invite our local missionaries over for dinner as often as I could. Made me feel like someone was probably doing the same for my son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 9, 2014 Report Share Posted July 9, 2014 I dropped off my baby at the sitter's for the first time at only 5 weeks old. That was the hardest day of my life to date... I don't think waving goodbye to my son at the airport as he leaves for his mission is going to be half the panic of that... but then he's turning 13 and starting to mouth off that sometimes I wanna kick him out of the house... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted July 9, 2014 Report Share Posted July 9, 2014 I think you'll feel differently when he is 18. Right now you see him as this sweet innocent little baby. I think most mothers hate seeing their sons go off on their mission but they also know that's what the Lord wants him to do and by then it's what they want to do in the majority of cases. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted July 9, 2014 Report Share Posted July 9, 2014 Its hard to send our children on missions or college or anywhere away from home for an extended time. Its suppose to be hard we love them. but it really gets easier after you go through the teen years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted July 10, 2014 Report Share Posted July 10, 2014 Our son served in the country of Panama....the whole two years he was gone I think my wife cried the whole time. Just wondering where he was and was he ok and healthy etc. Once he came home I think she cried for two weeks just out of pure happiness that he was home safe and sound. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted July 10, 2014 Report Share Posted July 10, 2014 One other thing....when we took son to the MTC my wife and I and one of my daughters went along. They both cried the whole time in the MTC. I have been on both sides.....it was harder as a parent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yjacket Posted July 10, 2014 Report Share Posted July 10, 2014 The most important job a parent has is to emancipate their child from themselves. By this I mean teaching and training a child so that when they come to the appropriate age they will have all the tools necessary to become a contributing member of society. They can go out into the world and make it on their own without mom & dad holding their hand. At some point us parents will become too old to defend and provide for our children. It is our job to ensure that the child learns how to be responsible for their own life. A sense of self-reliance and independence is one of the most critical skills to happiness. IMHO, very few joys as a parent are equal to seeing my children take joy in accomplishing things themselves. The proverbial . . ."Look Dad, see what I did!!!!" It is vital to instill in children a sense of accomplishment, independence and hard work. Now this doesn't mean that at 18 months, you stand the kid up and say, figure out how to use the bathroom by yourself. It is a process of training, the next 18 years is all about training for independence. It is similar to our HF plan. He doesn't want us to be tied to Him at the hip, He desires for us to become like Him and that process involves training, so much so that as we learn the mind and will of God we don't need for Him to always tell us exactly what to do . . . b/c many times we already know what to do. Too many parents set themselves and their children up for failure in life by not training them to be independent and then when they do become independent they don't realize all the hard work necessary in order to obtain what their parents had. In my professional setting, I look to hire individuals in co-op roles and to be quite honest, it is so extremely disappointing to meet many of the younger generation that have been raised on social media, facebook, etc. There are many fantastic candidates, but I just shake my head at so many of the applicants. In my personal life, I have had to hire younger individuals to take care of several household tasks and again I am disappointed in the lack of hard work ethic in the younger generation. They either expect to be paid a lot of money for very little experience or they expect to not have to work very hard and still make good money. In a professional setting, I refuse to hire someone who I do not believe will bust their tail, I will not give someone work who is not willing to work hard. I have a case where in my personal life I am paying someone to do the job who is younger, and is unwilling to work the hours necessary for the job. I am switching to another individual who has 10 years more experience, is willing to do the number of hours, and get paid the exact same. The difference, one individual understands the value of making it on their own the other doesn't and believes life should be easy. I will gladly take the individual with the lower GPA who has busted their butt to work their way through college, vs. the high GPA who's parents paid for college. One will truly understand the value of hard work and will most likely be a very good contributor for my team, the other . . . well I take a risk, they may be or they may not be, and if I have to make a decision based on at a 5-min career fair or a 30 min. interview, I will gladly take the individual who I know will work hard who has shown that, either by working odd jobs, going off and being independent for 2 years, or by some other means. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 10, 2014 Report Share Posted July 10, 2014 I will gladly take the individual with the lower GPA who has busted their butt to work their way through college, vs. the high GPA who's parents paid for college. I agree with everything you said except the bolded part... You don't get a high GPA in a good college unless you busted your butt to get it. My parents busted their butt to pay for our college so we can concentrate on busting our butt in college instead of having to bust our butts in and out of college. My brother took 6 years to finish college because instead of taking my dad's money, he decided to play professional soccer to partially pay for his college... he got good GPA even with his tough soccer schedule. My other brother went to med school and got top rank GPA all the way - everything paid for by dad and siblings. My doctor brother has just as stellar a work ethic as my soccer brother. I paid mostly for my own college because I've been working since I was 12 and I was learning more from my work than from my college - I busted my butt on both full-time endeavors and still graduated cum laude. My dad paid for my sister's entire nursing college and she got top rank GPA too... she has stellar work ethic. Work ethic is ingrained in our psyche by my father who wouldn't have it any other way. Whether you worked through college or not does not determine one's work ethic. Mediocre performance in college, whether you worked or not, hints at your work ethic. Work ethic is not limited to your job. A good work ethic shows in how well you perform in college too because your work ethic demands that you achieve in any endeavor worth pursuing. Of course there are colleges where you can snooze and get an A, so that changes things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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