Declining invitations due to baby


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So Daughter is in that toddler stage and she gets into everything!  Our house is babyproofed as are the grandparents.  But if I take her to someone else's house, I feel like I spend the entire visit keeping her from destroying other people's stuff.  Yes, we bring her own toys and I'm working on discipline, but the short-range problem is protecting people's things.

 

It's getting to the point where, if someone wants me to bring the baby, I want to decline an invitation.

 

Is there a polite way to ask people to move stuff they don't want her getting into because two hours of chasing down a toddler isn't a fun visit for me?  Or do I need to just suck it up?  I'm afraid the latter would just mean me declining invitations so I'm not having a miserable visit.

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If they are specifically asking you to bring the baby that's the perfect time to say, I'd love to but you know how toddlers are.  Into everything.  I'm worried about something in your home getting broken.

 

That gives them the idea that perhaps they need to move anything that might be a concern.

 

I certainly wouldn't say, Yes I'd like to come and bring her but you're going to have to put things away.

 

It's their home.  But there is a certain responsibility on both sides. Especially if they specifically asked you to bring your toddler along.

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So Daughter is in that toddler stage and she gets into everything!  Our house is babyproofed as are the grandparents.  But if I take her to someone else's house, I feel like I spend the entire visit keeping her from destroying other people's stuff.  Yes, we bring her own toys and I'm working on discipline, but the short-range problem is protecting people's things.

 

It's getting to the point where, if someone wants me to bring the baby, I want to decline an invitation.

 

Is there a polite way to ask people to move stuff they don't want her getting into because two hours of chasing down a toddler isn't a fun visit for me?  Or do I need to just suck it up?  I'm afraid the latter would just mean me declining invitations so I'm not having a miserable visit.

 

Yes, there's a polite way but it's not to ask them to move their stuff.  The polite way is to say, "I have this 2-year-old that is in that phase where she gets into everything and I don't feel confident yet that she won't destroy your stuff.  If I find a sitter, I may attend, if not, then I'll have to decline."  This offers up the opportunity for your friend to offer, "oh, it's going to be just fine, I'll move the figurines so she can't break them." or if she's not open to that, she can take the declined invite.

 

But even then, a lot of people don't realize how destructive a toddler can really get without eagle-eye supervision and us mothers can't enjoy the party much even when we have warned the host.  If it's a party you really want to attend, have a plan prior to the party - ask your husband or another friend to tag team with you - e.g. you take the kiddo for the first hour then hand it over to the hubby for the next hour... etc.

 

When my kiddos were young, I went through that phase where I mostly attended parties with friends who have rumbunctious kiddos of their own and avoided nice, quiet restaurants.  Good thing I live near the ocean... most restaurants on the ocean have al fresco dining that are conducive to small toddlers and big dogs.  I met friends there to catch up on things.

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When my oldest son was a baby, we went to the house of a good friend who is Hindu. I cannot recall the name of the celebration but they had objects representing Hindu Gods all around the house. My son in a matter of seconds, ran towards one of the objects and broke it. My heart literally sank because I wasn't very familiar with how Hindus perceive these things. They were very understanding but I wanted to leave right away after that. It was hard. :mellow:

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