hanker45 Posted November 22, 2014 Report Share Posted November 22, 2014 I need help. I'll keep it brief and simple. Ive been dating this girl and we talk about the future pretty seriously. But there is this other girl that I've been interested in a lot and I can't get my mind off of her. But she's on a mission. She gets back soon which is great. But heres the catch, we live in different states. and my current relationship is also long distance. So its like either way I have to be long distance and won't really know what its like to be with someone unless one of us moves our life for the other. Any thoughts?f Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane_Doe Posted November 22, 2014 Report Share Posted November 22, 2014 Wait until the missionary gets back before making an commitments to either girl. PolarVortex 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted November 22, 2014 Report Share Posted November 22, 2014 I strongly second what Jane_Doe said. You are probably a young person who has time on their side. There is no rush, so why live with regret the rest of your life if you make a mistake? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PolarVortex Posted November 22, 2014 Report Share Posted November 22, 2014 I strongly "third" what Jane_Doe and MormonGator have said. You sound like an aunt of mine who needed a new car. She went to a dealership and couldn't decide which of two cars she really wanted. It never occurred to her that there were other dealerships in her town with other nice cars, and it never occurred to her that nothing was forcing her to buy a new car at that time. As I've said before on other posts, many decisions tend to make themselves if you keep gathering information and aren't afraid to live for a short time in uncertainty. Unless your hand is being forced (e.g., one of your lady friends wants marriage and is ordering you to launch or get off the pad), stay friends with both your lady friends and make some new friends in your local area. And most importantly, think with your brain, and not with some other part of your body. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelMarvel Posted November 22, 2014 Report Share Posted November 22, 2014 (edited) I need help. I'll keep it brief and simple. Ive been dating this girl and we talk about the future pretty seriously. But there is this other girl that I've been interested in a lot and I can't get my mind off of her. But she's on a mission. She gets back soon which is great. But heres the catch, we live in different states. and my current relationship is also long distance. So its like either way I have to be long distance and won't really know what its like to be with someone unless one of us moves our life for the other. Any thoughts?f You say you are dating the one girl...but you live in different states. How far apart are the states you live in? If you are dating.... then they must be close enough to do that. Or are you really saying you are Online dating this girl from another state? I know people that have Online love encounters. If that is the case... I would move on because there is really no way you "know" this girl. Edited November 22, 2014 by AngelMarvel Jonathan16 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hanker45 Posted November 22, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 22, 2014 Thanks for the replies. To answer some questions, I am currently exclusive with my gf and we did meet online. We have made multiple trips to visit each other over the past 8 months. It's honestly not really ideal because we are both in school and moving closer to each other won't happen for about another year or so. Is it wrong that I have strong feelings about who I'm with yet I wonder what it would be like with the other girl? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted December 2, 2014 Report Share Posted December 2, 2014 Thanks for the replies. To answer some questions, I am currently exclusive with my gf and we did meet online. We have made multiple trips to visit each other over the past 8 months. It's honestly not really ideal because we are both in school and moving closer to each other won't happen for about another year or so. Is it wrong that I have strong feelings about who I'm with yet I wonder what it would be like with the other girl? No. It's not "wrong". It's normal to be ambivalent about love. I mean now is the time to do it. Marriage is long prospect. Best to be sure you chose the situation that is best for you. I think it would only cross into "wrong-ness" if you lie to one girl and make her think she's your one and only. Not that I think you should make your feelings known. It's ok to boundary your feelings. I'm just saying don't misrepresent yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 2, 2014 Report Share Posted December 2, 2014 Is it wrong that I have strong feelings about who I'm with yet I wonder what it would be like with the other girl? Not at all. This simply means, you're not ready for a committed relationship... and especially not ready for marriage. But yeah, it would be wrong if you lead the girl into thinking you're committed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carrotsails Posted December 15, 2014 Report Share Posted December 15, 2014 Thanks for the replies. To answer some questions, I am currently exclusive with my gf and we did meet online. We have made multiple trips to visit each other over the past 8 months. It's honestly not really ideal because we are both in school and moving closer to each other won't happen for about another year or so. Is it wrong that I have strong feelings about who I'm with yet I wonder what it would be like with the other girl? You need to simply wait. For one, you cannot know a person long distance like that. Each time you are together you are on your best behavior. So, you're not really learning each other's guinuine person. Right now you both just like the 'idea' of would could be and what you think you see in one another. (Believe me, I've been there so I know you're thinking - "but, you don't know how much we've learned about each other each time we're together!" The truth is, you don't and the fact that you're thinking about another girl shows doubt). So, don't rush into anything. In fact, with both of you still in high school, you shouldn't be dating exclusively. It's robbing you of the opportunity to meet a variety of people, learn about different personalities, and so on. Again, don't rush into anything. If it's real, it'll stay put long enough for you to feel confident about the person and your relationship with her. The fact that you are torn right now shows you do not have that confidence yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonathan16 Posted June 24, 2015 Report Share Posted June 24, 2015 I would have to say that you should make it clear to the girl you are currently dating that you are not yet ready for marriage and are still trying to find a match to your Desirable Traits list (a list of traits that you find desirable in your future Eternal Wife i.e., non-gambler, non-drinker, non-smoker, faithful in going to church and keeping the sabbath day holy, ect.,). Write a list such as this and compare every girl you date to it, and always enquire if they have such a list themselves. This is the same answer a friend of mine got when we went to a YSA Regional Conference in 2011, and Br. and Sistr. Osman (I think I spelled their name right) were there and teaching a workshop on successful marriages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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