I'm struggling with thoughts of profanity and don't know if I've been forgiven...

[MormonGuitarGirl]

Hi guys,

I'm going to be honest.

Profanity is something I never thought I'd struggle with. I always wondered how someone could take Their names in vain and use vulgar language, but never thought I'd have a problem.

Well, that's certainly changed.

Long story short, I used to make media choices that weren't the best, like reading mainstream fiction, watching R movies and TV shows, and listening to music that wasn't explicit but still not the cleanest, etc. The profanity would register but never stick.

I've since repented of these things and am truly trying to do better. I turn the radio when a bad song comes on, only read Christian fiction or nonfiction I know is clean and am really careful about what I watch.

I feel like I've really turned my life around over the past year, honestly. I used to never pray, read my Scriptures or really listen to conference. (Without going into detail, I come from an inactive family where profanity tends to fly sometimes and have not, for reasons outside my control, been able to attend Church since 2012. I feel really bad about this but I feel like I'm doing the best I can given my circumstances. I've never had FHE and have just subscribed to the Ensign amidst comments that I'm a holy roller because I take my Scriptures with me whever I go, and am just now learning who people in the Scriptures are, like Nephi and Enos.)

Anyway, profanity pops into my head all the time and I'm really getting worried. I've repented a lot but I don't know if He's forgiven me since I repent and then the thoughts keep coming. As I understand it, we aren't supposed to repeat sins, so I don't know where I stand on that...

I feel like my heart's in the right place and I'm really trying but I'm afraid I haven't beeen forgiven for these thoughts. How can I overcome the profanity so I can get some relief, and how can I know if I've been forgiven? I reject these thoughts as soon as they come.

I just want to move on and stop worrying.

Thanks buckets! :)

Edited November 24, 2014 by MormonGuitarGirl

[PolarVortex]

If I had a profanity problem, the simple knowledge that God has forgiven me would give me the strength and will to stop swearing.

 

Here's a trick that some smokers use to break their addiction to cigarettes.  Every time they smoke, they mark it down.  As long the trend is fewer and fewer cigarettes each day, they view themselves as successful.  When they reach zero, they keep a card in their wallet or purse that says, "I have gone 1 day without smoking."  On Day 2, they write, "I have gone 2 days without smoking."  I just heard a podcast about someone who knows that he has gone something like 4154 days without smoking because writing it down each day gives him the strength to resist the temptation to smoke.

 

It's a lot harder to stop smoking than to stop cussing. 

[Vort]

You need to put time between yourself and those actions and thoughts. The only way to do this is to press on, over the coming weeks and months and years. Having opened yourself to these thoughts, they have become ingrained in the patterns of thought of your brain. It will take time to recondition those paths, maybe months, maybe decades. Just keep on keeping on, and eventually you will get there.

 

(Maybe also take from this the lesson that, while we can always repent, we can't always immediately undo the evil consequences of our choices. In pretty much every case, it is far better to avoid the sin and its consequences than to try to expunge the evils and clean up afterwards.)

[lds-convert-sw]

Anyway, profanity pops into my head all the time...

I can speak to my own experiences. I come from a family that thinks nothing of swearing, especially in anger. I was baptized 6 years ago. I have a history before joining the church of listening to heavy metal and other music that now I would consider not appropriate.  I still have profanity pop into my head sometimes if If frustrated or angry (which I shouldn't be). When this happens, I instantly tell myself "Stop it!"  and immediately seek Heavenly Father's help and forgiveness. The frequency of these short episodes has decreased substantially. And I no longer listen to 'angry' music, because I found that it's just not good for me, emotionally or spiritually. I listen to KLove in the car (Contemporary Christian). I find it uplifting and calming.

[StallionMcBeastly]

Sounds to me you are doing everything in your power to do what is right (you cant control random thoughts that pop into your head). Remember, we're human and imperfect, you're not going to be able to prevent these bad words from entering your mind. I think you should feel great about yourself because you choose not to say them or dwell on them. Good job! And IMO you are of course forgiven :-)

[Silhouette]

Sounds to me you are doing everything in your power to do what is right (you cant control random thoughts that pop into your head). Remember, we're human and imperfect, you're not going to be able to prevent these bad words from entering your mind. I think you should feel great about yourself because you choose not to say them or dwell on them. Good job! And IMO you are of course forgiven :-)

I agree, you cannot control random thoughts that pop into your head. The same thing happens to me, and I don't worry much about it. I think that if you voiced these thoughts, then yes, there would be something to worry about. But since you apparently do not, I think you're fine.

Also, and this is just my opinion, you might be making things tough on yourself. You only listen to Christian music on the radio, for example. But they don't play Christian music at Church dances. Not that the music at these dances is inappropriate, it's just that there is definitely some "wiggle room" which opens up more possibilities that you might not have considered.

You also mention that you only read books that are wholesome, which is fine, but are you being too hard on yourself in that area, too? For example, my sister-in-law and her husband are of a fundamentalist faith, and think just about everything is a sin. For example, they never allowed their children to watch or read the classic Cinderella when growing up, because it has "magic" in it, and magic is "of the devil". That's just one mild example of the fanaticism in their family.

My point is that it's fine to do what's right, but one should not see boogeymen everywhere one looks, including random thoughts that you have no control over.

[StallionMcBeastly]

I second Silhouette. This type of obsessing (not that you necessarily are) can be more damaging than beneficial. I know cause I've been there. It can get to a point where its hard to enjoy life cause we have a fanatical obsession with trying to be perfectly obedient. Theres a line of obsession that need not be crossed when striving to be good. Forgive yourself and move on. Good luck!

[Silhouette]

I second Silhouette. This type of obsessing (not that you necessarily are) can be more damaging than beneficial. I know cause I've been there. It can get to a point where its hard to enjoy life cause we have a fanatical obsession with trying to be perfectly obedient. Theres a line of obsession that need not be crossed when striving to be good. Forgive yourself and move on. Good luck!

[Silhouette]

Deleted. Double post.

Edited November 28, 2014 by Silhouette

[Pa Pa]

The older I get, and the pains of just getting out of bed, make me wonder why at times I am not more profane. :)

[pkstpaul]

You may be having a problem repenting because you haven't committed a sin.  Ahh..everyone will take exception to my statement...ahh.  You are sweating the small stuff. Your heart appears to be in the right place. You are not swearing because you are rebel hell-bent on fighting society. You're just human.

[Misshalfway]

Yeah...brains do stuff like this, sweets.  It's all good, even if it doesn't feel like it.

 

Remember why we are here on earth.  We are here to have an experience with the flesh and to learn to bridle and master it.  As far as I can tell, your natural man is doing exactly what it was designed to do -- offer you a choice.  :)  Remember it's not what the brain thinks that is the problem.  It's how we react to it.  We can react in fear, or react in indulgence, or panick and judge ourselves harshly, or mind read God, or do a shame spiral when we can't maintain psychological or emotional perfection.

 

If you ask me, all that feels like a big waste of energy and a method that really isn't that effective.  I'm pretty sure that's what satan wants us to do though.  Panic cause we are human and beat the crap out of ourselves and drown ourselves in shame and perfectionism and be all sorts of distracted and preoccupied so we miss all the opportunities to choose the higher ways.

 

It's so tempting to fear our imperfections or our biological humanness.  And it's so tempting to fear that God is disappointed or as ruthless as we are with ourselves.  But see if you can rise above it.  Try trusting your higher self instead.  Trust that bridling is doable.  And trust that bridling is all that is required.  And you are already doing that!  So trust in the evidence of your goodness that is showing itself as obviously as the natural man thoughts.  And then get back to practicing love and enjoying life.

[sxfritz]

If you ask me, all that feels like a big waste of energy and a method that really isn't that effective.  I'm pretty sure that's what satan wants us to do though.  Panic cause we are human and beat the crap out of ourselves and drown ourselves in shame and perfectionism and be all 

oooohhhh...you said 'crap'