Ironhold Posted October 16, 2015 Report Share Posted October 16, 2015 I actually know someone who was the victim of a predator. The predator removed the person's door so as to give them less of a chance to hide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Windseeker Posted October 16, 2015 Report Share Posted October 16, 2015 I've mentioned on the board I'm having some struggles with my daughter. Removing the door was necessary because it was how she was hiding cigarette and drug use. I was really afraid, being a bit of a rebel myself when I was young, and well aware of how authority abused, even when well intention-ed, can entice a rebellious counter offense. By removing the door I wanted my daughter to know that I care more about her future agency, her health and my responsibility as a parent, than her privacy or being her buddy. Since removing her door and confiscating her cell phone my daughters healthy interaction with the family has increased significantly and she even seems happier. We still have a long ways to go. My opinion mirrors many that have been stated. I believe privacy is a privilege. You can't help your child if you're not aware. The principle of watching out for our children should be accompanied by a healthy dose of "pick your battles" and as trust is earned it's followed by an increase in allowing a child to make their own choices. yjacket 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 19, 2015 Report Share Posted October 19, 2015 I'm thinking about doors and I thought about how my parents dealt with doors and I realized... hmm... I've never really had my own room growing up! I've always had to share it with my sister and cousins. And then I remember I didn't have my own phone either. I had to share the phone with the entire family and the neighbor (have you ever heard of party lines?). My boys now have each their own rooms. Interestingly, none of them sleep in their rooms. The 14 year old sleep in the play room - no doors - the 12 year old still sleeps in our room half the night (sleeps in his room and then gets up in the middle of the night to move to our room). They don't close bedroom doors either. I've always had to go around and close doors when someone visits because I don't want them to see the mess. I'm not quite sure what I'm gonna do if the kids grow up and start closing doors... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightSG Posted October 19, 2015 Report Share Posted October 19, 2015 (edited) Also, talk to your local fire department before taking doors down or insisting they stay open. Doors aren't just for privacy; that hollow core interior door won't slow the actual fire much, but it will slow the room filling up with smoke by as much as several minutes if there's a fire in another part of the house, giving the occupants that much more time to hear the smoke detector, wake up and get out the window. The vast majority of people who die in home fires aren't killed by the fire, but by the highly toxic smoke from the carpet and upholstery burning, or simple oxygen deprivation. When I was married, we used a baby monitor and kept the kids' bedroom door closed whenever they were in bed. Even now that I live alone, I still close my bedroom door when I go to bed for that reason. Edited October 19, 2015 by NightSG Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 19, 2015 Report Share Posted October 19, 2015 Yup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Folk Prophet Posted October 19, 2015 Report Share Posted October 19, 2015 I just find it fascinating that anyone cares what a bunch of anonymous strangers on an internet forum think when it comes to parenting choices. Palerider 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted October 20, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 20, 2015 I just find it fascinating that anyone cares what a bunch of anonymous strangers on an internet forum think when it comes to parenting choices.Amen to that .....you gotta do the best you can and hope for the best. yjacket 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Windseeker Posted October 21, 2015 Report Share Posted October 21, 2015 I just find it fascinating that anyone cares what a bunch of anonymous strangers on an internet forum think when it comes to parenting choices. I actually gain allot of insight on these forums. I find it odd that someone frequents any forum and claims they don't care what people think, regardless the topic. I can see taking advice with a grain of salt but flat out dismissing everyone's opinions makes me question the purpose of frequenting any forum. Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Folk Prophet Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 I actually gain allot of insight on these forums. I find it odd that someone frequents any forum and claims they don't care what people think, regardless the topic. I can see taking advice with a grain of salt but flat out dismissing everyone's opinions makes me question the purpose of frequenting any forum. Please note the conditional, "when it comes to parenting" of my statement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 Then, why are you even looking at this particular board? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted October 22, 2015 Report Share Posted October 22, 2015 (edited) I actually gain allot of insight on these forums. I find it odd that someone frequents any forum and claims they don't care what people think, regardless the topic. I can see taking advice with a grain of salt but flat out dismissing everyone's opinions makes me question the purpose of frequenting any forum. Oh same here! Even when I disagree with people I am always learning here. My parents gave me a lot of freedom and I didn't abuse it. When I eventually went to college I saw people whose parents were stricter go off the deep end with drugs and booze. They didn't know how to use privacy and free time correctly. Literally, kids need to be taught how to use down time and not get in trouble with new found freedom. Did I do stupid things in college? You bet. Were they as bad as others I saw? No. yes, I know that my case doesn't mean everyone should do what my parents did, just adding a different perspective Edited October 23, 2015 by MormonGator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted October 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2015 The day after I graduated from high school ......my Dad came down stairs to my room and asked .....are you staying here or moving out. To make a long story short .....I said staying ....he said you now owe your mom ex amount of dollars a week for living here. Then he said ....if you don't like it ....Move Out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Windseeker Posted October 23, 2015 Report Share Posted October 23, 2015 The day after I graduated from high school ......my Dad came down stairs to my room and asked .....are you staying here or moving out. To make a long story short .....I said staying ....he said you now owe your mom ex amount of dollars a week for living here. Then he said ....if you don't like it ....Move Out While I understand the sentiment, I think this will become less common though. I'm currently charging my son and nephew rent since they are not going to college, but wouldn't be if they were in school. My concern is that now days without guidance and support from families the future generation is either setup to be a slave or a dependent on the government. I see the solution will be strong families following the asian cultural model of families staying together and helping each other get education employment etc. I saw this allot on my mission in Japan and also in the Vietnamese culture in the Northwest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Folk Prophet Posted October 23, 2015 Report Share Posted October 23, 2015 (edited) Then, why are you even looking at this particular board? What do you care? Edited October 23, 2015 by The Folk Prophet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted October 23, 2015 Report Share Posted October 23, 2015 The day after I graduated from high school ......my Dad came down stairs to my room and asked .....are you staying here or moving out. To make a long story short .....I said staying ....he said you now owe your mom ex amount of dollars a week for living here. Then he said ....if you don't like it ....Move Out My old man said "College, military, or road trip." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Folk Prophet Posted October 23, 2015 Report Share Posted October 23, 2015 The day after I graduated from high school ......my Dad came down stairs to my room and asked .....are you staying here or moving out. To make a long story short .....I said staying ....he said you now owe your mom ex amount of dollars a week for living here. Then he said ....if you don't like it ....Move Out I think this might depend on the kid. A kid who was moderately responsible, had proper plans and goals (college, mission, etc.), and wasn't involved in inappropriate moral activities, I might be more inclined to just let it be. A kid who was more inclined to be a layabout, and/or was partying or the like a lot, I might be more inclined to do something like this as a real-life, kick-in-the-pants teaching tool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 23, 2015 Report Share Posted October 23, 2015 My brother was close to his 40's, a neurologist with a wife who is a pediatrician and 3 kids before he moved out of my dad's house... The day he moved out, my parents moved in with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted October 24, 2015 Author Report Share Posted October 24, 2015 I think this might depend on the kid. A kid who was moderately responsible, had proper plans and goals (college, mission, etc.), and wasn't involved in inappropriate moral activities, I might be more inclined to just let it be. A kid who was more inclined to be a layabout, and/or was partying or the like a lot, I might be more inclined to do something like this as a real-life, kick-in-the-pants teaching tool.He knew I was going to start working full time ....he had no clue what my life was like outside of home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ironhold Posted November 1, 2015 Report Share Posted November 1, 2015 I'm 31 and still living at home. I had a decent enough office job I worked part-time while doing my undergraduate work, but I was laid off when the recession hit. I had just enough money left to finish my degree and get started on graduate school, and so any plans to "spread my wings" had to get put on hold. I have my MBA, but white-collar jobs so greatly retreated from my area due to the recession that I'm now having to save up so that I can afford to relocate. Until then, I'm helping my parents take care of the house and I pet-sit for them when they're gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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