Do I need to tell the church that my husband left me?


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My husband left me for another woman. We are new to the church and I have been living in a different state than him with our children for a medical reason. He told me last week that he is done with us and he has already moved the new woman into our home. Since my record is already separate from his do I need to tell the bishop? Will anyone care? Will everyone think I am just trying to get attention?

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Tell your bishop. This is not some minor occurrence. No one will think you're just grabbing attention simply for telling your bishop about this problem. He may ask for permission to share the news with certain others, such as the Relief Society president, in order to coordinate help. My advice is to tell him immediately about your life situation.

 

I am very sorry to hear your husband is acting in such a dishonorable way. Good luck.

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You mentioned nothing of divorce, but it is generally my assumption that it is a strong possibility. I would recommend getting legal advice in preparedness for the potential future.

I'm sorry you are experiencing this. It would be shameful for others to treat you like you are just seeking for attention in such a situation. I think most bishops would be compassionate.

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Don't worry about what others in the ward will think.  You need to do what you need to do to protect yourself and your children - both in mortality and eternally.  For that you will need the spiritual guidance of your bishop.

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My husband left me for another woman. We are new to the church and I have been living in a different state than him with our children for a medical reason. He told me last week that he is done with us and he has already moved the new woman into our home. Since my record is already separate from his do I need to tell the bishop? Will anyone care? Will everyone think I am just trying to get attention?

There is no "requirement" as such. If at a point you become divorced, you will want your records updated. The only time it is required to come up is in a Temple Recommend interview. You will be asked about spousal relationships/obligations. Having said that, it is better if you discuss it with your bishop at your convenience. He should keep it confidential. Any clerk updating records should do the same.

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It's no ones business but your own, you don't have to tell the bishop if you don't want to. There is no requirement to state changes in your relationship status to the bishop at all. Furthermore unless you want his advice in the matter (and I'm not sure why you would since he is probably not a trained marriage counsler) then and only then should you tell him....I would limit my tell of my personal situation to him in terms of asking for help with spiritual growth and lack of priesthood leadership in the home if this is important to you.

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It's no ones business but your own, you don't have to tell the bishop if you don't want to. There is no requirement to state changes in your relationship status to the bishop at all. Furthermore unless you want his advice in the matter (and I'm not sure why you would since he is probably not a trained marriage counsler) then and only then should you tell him....I would limit my tell of my personal situation to him in terms of asking for help with spiritual growth and lack of priesthood leadership in the home if this is important to you.

 

I'm really quite confounded at your anti-speak-to-your-bishop attitudes in these matters. Did you have a bishop hurt you somehow or something?

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I'm sorry you are going through this.  As others have said while there is no requirement for you to say anything to the Bishop, it really is in your best interests to let the church help you though this.  It is in your husband's and children's best interests as well.  If you have done nothing wrong you have nothing to be ashamed of.

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I'm really quite confounded at your anti-speak-to-your-bishop attitudes in these matters. Did you have a bishop hurt you somehow or something?

For the record I am not Anti-speak-to-your-bishop. I have never had a run in with my bishop or any other bishop that was hurtful or nonconstructive in any way.

 

Not everyone wants to air their dirty laundry, even if it is to the bishop. The fact that the OP is asking the question leads ME to think that she is hesitant to discuss the matter.

 

Handbook 1 states: When a marriage ends in divorce, or if a husband and wife separate, they should always receive counseling from Church leaders. One or both may also need Church discipline if they have committed serious transgressions in connection with the divorce or separation.

 

In earlier paragraphs it also states that members with serious personal issues should seek counsel with their bishop. So I guess the question is what defines a serious personal issue?

 

I may have been wrong in this whole thing,.......go talk to your bishop

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For the record I am not Anti-speak-to-your-bishop. I have never had a run in with my bishop or any other bishop that was hurtful or nonconstructive in any way.

 

Not everyone wants to air their dirty laundry, even if it is to the bishop. The fact that the OP is asking the question leads ME to think that she is hesitant to discuss the matter.

 

My interpretation of the OP was that she was hesitant to discuss the matter with the bishop because of what others might think.  I could be wrong.

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Consider this:

 

1. The bishop has been given the blessing to recieve revelation for people in his assighned area. He is NOT blessed to recieve revelation on your behalf, but he most likely has some experience in these kinds of things and could help the future from this point go a little more smooth.

 

2. Everything you tell the bishop if kept between you and the bishop. If you ask him to keep it with him - he will. However, he can also coordinate some future help for you.

 

3. You are not required to tell the bishop. But in this case, the lack of priesthood in your home needs to have a little bit of help. I am NOT saying a mother cannot handle herself. But I am saying priesthood when worthily held can provide a particular type of help and guiadance. Namely in the form of blessings. I advise recieving a blessing. It would help you through this time.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Consider this:

1. The bishop has been given the blessing to recieve revelation for people in his assighned area. He is NOT blessed to recieve revelation on your behalf, but he most likely has some experience in these kinds of things and could help the future from this point go a little more smooth.

2. Everything you tell the bishop if kept between you and the bishop. If you ask him to keep it with him - he will. However, he can also coordinate some future help for you.

3. You are not required to tell the bishop. But in this case, the lack of priesthood in your home needs to have a little bit of help. I am NOT saying a mother cannot handle herself. But I am saying priesthood when worthily held can provide a particular type of help and guiadance. Namely in the form of blessings. I advise recieving a blessing. It would help you through this time.

He is NOT blessed to receive revelation on your behalf. Ummmm

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So are you saying that you and your husband are new converts into the ward within the past year and now your husband has left you? That is rough because the ward members have gotten to know the both of you and they will wonder where he is the next time they see you at church.

 

It is always recommended to tell the bishop because he will be able to make special arrangements that cater to your familys needs for the various functions we have in the church. for example he may know of a particular sister that may have more in common with you to be assigned as your visiting teachers, or go the extra mile to make sure your family receives priority attention when it comes to service projects.

 

 

I also wouldnt phrase it as "He left me" because it sounds like something was wrong with you. I would just say "we are divorced/seperated", or "He had an affair..."

 

I really feel for you and pray that you can move forward, put your trust in Christ and he will make your burdens lite.

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