dahlia Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 As I mentioned awhile back, my son is getting married. He is actually getting married at the outdoor area of our church (we have a picnic area). The bishop has offered to officiate, but the fiance's father is a minister and will do it. If the bishop officiated, I would certainly invite him to the restaurant dinner afterward. However, he's just letting us use the picnic area for free. Should I still invite him? The bride's mother is paying for the dinner, but I would pay for the bishop and his wife. It's not the money, it's the etiquette, which I just don't know. An aside - the bishop 'volunteered' some of the young men to bring chairs out, set up, and move the picnic stuff out of the way. We're only having about 30 people, but still, they're doing some work. I think I should pay the guys about $20 a piece. Nice round number, I can get 20$ bills, they weren't expecting anything, so anything is a bonus, etc. What do you guys think? I dig the service thing, but I also think if you do a job you should get paid. Thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traveler Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 As I mentioned awhile back, my son is getting married. He is actually getting married at the outdoor area of our church (we have a picnic area). The bishop has offered to officiate, but the fiance's father is a minister and will do it. If the bishop officiated, I would certainly invite him to the restaurant dinner afterward. However, he's just letting us use the picnic area for free. Should I still invite him? The bride's mother is paying for the dinner, but I would pay for the bishop and his wife. It's not the money, it's the etiquette, which I just don't know. An aside - the bishop 'volunteered' some of the young men to bring chairs out, set up, and move the picnic stuff out of the way. We're only having about 30 people, but still, they're doing some work. I think I should pay the guys about $20 a piece. Nice round number, I can get 20$ bills, they weren't expecting anything, so anything is a bonus, etc. What do you guys think? I dig the service thing, but I also think if you do a job you should get paid. Thoughts? If I were in your shoes - I would ask my son and his to-by wife if they would like the bishop to be present at their wedding dinner. Jane_Doe 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 For the bishop it would depend entirely on how close you are to him. It is not an automatic invite thing. As for paying the YM... the YM leaders are most likely trying to instill the attitude of self-less service in the boys. Payment might be declined... That being said the scouting side of the program usually does fund raisers for summer camp and new gear... Put it as a donation to further their activities (whatever they might be) and you might be able "pay" in a way that furthers the goals of the program. EarlJibbs, Backroads and Daybreak79 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maureen Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 I would invite the Bishop and his wife. If the young men are bringing the chairs outside, setting them up and then taking them back in, I think $20 each is very nice. M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RMGuy Posted May 5, 2015 Report Share Posted May 5, 2015 I think The Traveler had it right...see what the bride and groom would like to do. As for the young men, if they volunteered then you could donate some money to the scout program which I'm sure would be appreciated If they were voluntold then I think some paying them would be a wonderful thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David13 Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 I think you should ask the happy couple if they want the Bishop invited.I think you should offer money to the young men, and also donate money to the scout program and that you should also make a contribution to the Bishop for the church for using the picnic area.In other words pay all the way around. dc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dahlia Posted May 6, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 (edited) I'm sorry, I should have said my son & the bride are all right with it. I just wasn't sure if it was expected. The bishop said they wouldn't take any money from me. If I wanted, I could make a donation to the missionaries, but he won't accept any money from me. Edited May 6, 2015 by dahlia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David13 Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 (edited) Yes.Wherever he wants the money to go. If for the missionaries, then to the missionary fund.It's not a rental fee, a purchase amount, it's a donation, a gratuity.dc Edited May 6, 2015 by David13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bytebear Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 I'm not surprised they won't accept money. We are a volunteer church after all. But, maybe you can give them a small gift or trinket for their efforts. Even cookies or doughnuts would be appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane_Doe Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 The bishop said they wouldn't take any money from me. If I wanted, I could make a donation to the missionaries, but he won't accept any money from me. Paying a bishop would be inappropriate, he was right to decline. However, he might take a gift. After the Bishop officiated at my wedding, I gave him a gift card to a nice restaurant so he and his wife could have a date. (Yes, it is sorta bizarre that cash is not ok, but restaurant gift card is). Backroads 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted May 6, 2015 Report Share Posted May 6, 2015 I'd invite the bishop. I see no reason not to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dahlia Posted May 14, 2015 Author Report Share Posted May 14, 2015 Still haven't decided what to do about the bishop. I am paying the boys who help with the chairs, since I've been told they are trying to find service projects to get money for camp. Jane_Doe 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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