Just attended my first service

[Trumpetguy]

I have been alone most of my life in so very many ways, but God has been with me all the while.  I have searched out so very many churches, am a very devout Catholic, but have never been welcomed anywhere for any meaningful way, manner or aspect outside of the superficial.

 

I go to mass, I go to protestant services, I go anywhere in the world, alone, always alone, just me myself and I, and it's just a given that the pew I will be at will be empty next to me and remain so.  I see families sitting together, couples with their arms around each other and think, what would it be like to actually have that for myself, and here I stand, at the age of 47, still alone, pretty much friendless, no relatives that speak to me on any regular level, and barely even had a girlfriend in the past, much less a wife and kids...

 

I have been involved doing chairity work, helping the less fortunate, I read the bible every day, I pray to our Lord, and I sacrifice on so many levels to help others, to put them before me as our Lord has for us.  I have been shunned, told and treated as an outcast, badly, and yet I endure.  My heart has been bruised, beaten down, downtrodden, to the point I wonder in spite of all I have endured if I will ever make it into God's kingdom, since I have had to pull my heart back into myself, to no longer smile and no longer love for it's not given to me and this world has been absolutely crewel to me so far.

 

I have been to so very many different churches, often in the past with such meager transportation, if any at all, and have been shunned, scooted away, made to feel like I was less then a human being.  I'm pretty beaten down at this stage in my life, even though on the exterior I seem to be taking care of business, inside, I'm a broken man.  

 

I have such a great big heart to love, and it's still extended, but it's also something that just get's trashed by all around me, and I can attest, I'm kind of hurting at the moment I'm writing this as well, so please don't think this is all I'm about, I very much do have times where the Lord uplifts my heart, mind, body and soul to very high levels, but for now, just being off the cuff and sharing my who I am at the moment.

 

I attended my first Mormon church last Sunday, and it was good to finally connect with some God, faith, bible believing people, people with correct traditional values, people that didn't have selfish personal agenda's, people that accepted me, this wanderer in this world into their world, even if it's just for show, even if it's just for the day, at least I didn't feel alone, I didn't feel like some ghost among the ranks.  I did notice the rest, with their spouses and families, and took heartfelt note, I was there alone, but not alone, one of the missionaries talked to me, and actually sat beside me during the services.  I was for a moment, even if it wasn't real, at least for that time, I was with some people and fit in, in worship and praise for our Lord.

 

I have been alone since the age of 7, that was 40 years ago, I am going back there next Sunday, yes, I am a very devout Catholic, this won't change, but I have so many questions along your book, and it doesn't seem like a deal breaker with me.  Please excuse the many questions I"m going to pose on this place, I so want to know you all more and this group, one that made me finally feel welcomed, and no I am not some odd looking/acting/etc. individual, nor are there any issues going on, but when you are devout, intelligent, this world doesn't want you around neither does it's people, this I have found out the hard way.  All I know is that our faith, the Christian faith is supposed to be about love, God's love, our love, and this is what I try to emulate, and I so love seeing this in what I experienced, to be loved and it being genuine.

 

Thank you for getting through the read on this, it's been a trying past period of time for me, but am humbly moving forward and seeing a people like you, God fearing, Bible believing, Loving, a complete breath of fresh air for me!

 

 

[Jane_Doe]

I'm glad you enjoyed services!

 

Welcome to the site, and feel free to ask any question!  

[David13]

In a sense you sound like me.

Except for the part about shunning and all that.

I'm older and a former Catholic and all alone.  No family, all dead, divorced long ago, no children.

But most people, good people see me as a good person. 

I smile, look directly at them, eagerly say good morning, etc.  If they respond I'm ready with a handshake.

I'm modestly but cleanly and neatly dressed with short hair and a trimmed beard.  I walk and talk like a man, which I am.

I don't appear to have any drug or alcohol impairment and I don't smoke.

And most people around California, and all in Utah and Idaho and other areas are quite friendly to me.

But yes, I have, as a 1 month member of the LDS church found that at least in Utah the LDS church is the most open, welcoming and friendly church I have ever gone to.

But you might say I seem like 'one of them' except for the beard.

Here they were more suspicious.  But once it seemed clear I was serious about joining the church they all shook my hand, patted me on the back, and talked as a friend.

Look at those words of wisdom.

But I think you will find a fellowship here in LDS that Catholic church doesn't even consider.

dc

[pam]

Welcome.  I'm glad you were able to join us.  :)

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

Welcome!

[Palerider]

Thanks for sharing and welcome to the site.

[sxfritz]

I too felt alone in the Catholic church. I attended and was as active as I could be and joined pro-life activities. But I never found friends and I didn't find my priest to care much about my spiritual well-being. The LDS church gave me a feeling of belonging even before I went to my first service. I studied the church for several months with the missionaries and only went to my first service because the bishop wanted me to attend before I was baptised. After baptism,I found a home and everything I expected a church to be.

 

My father and brothers are very devote Roman Catholic. My father is very active but he will be the first to tell you that it is hard to be active as a Catholic and that you are responsible for your own level of activity. In other words, he has to "make" work.

 

Best wishes. I hope you continue to visit and allow the missionaries to teach you.

Edited May 26, 2015 by sxfritz

[Guest]

Welcome!

I had a very fulfilling life as a devout Catholic. Went to Catholic Schools from Kindergarten through 5 years of College, very close with lots of priests and nuns until today. Most of my family are devout Catholic and very active in service. I got baptized LDS 15 years ago but still spend a lot of time with my Catholic family and friends. The hardest thing to get used to on my first few visits to an LDS Ward was the "boring music". I was in the Catholic folk choir and a cantor for the high mass and was used to having really awesome music in the services. Then I attended the LDS ward where they only sang 3 songs and they were all snooze-speed. I have to say, if I didn't open myself to gaining a testimony on things like Eternal Marriage, Premortal Existence, works for the dead, Joseph Smith's First Vision, etc., I'd still be devout Catholic today and lead a happy life, even an easier life.

Edited May 26, 2015 by anatess

[theSQUIDSTER]

Trumpet guy,

Thanks so much for sharing! Loneliness is such a rough thing. I hope you feel a little less lonely here among us. :). You are most welcome here.

It sounds like you've been on quite a long spiritual journey, but you haven't thrown in the towel yet. I admire your tenacity. Keep going! You might just be on the verge of discovering a few wonderful things.

[Trumpetguy]

It's an onion skin, layer type of thing, where just before you move onto the next level, or next layer is revealed, you go through what is called the dark night of the soul.  I'm in it right now and it's been a struggle.  I have my up's and downs, and I have to admit, the work I do for the faith out in the world does take it's toll to boot.  I read people, their energy, their intentions, and it's a good thing when I get to take a break from having to deal with negativity, or just worldly mindsets for a change.  

 

It's almost like I was born too late in this culture, my values are so old school and traditional, but then again, I suppose we are born into this world to show through example what these increasingly declining values are about.  

 

Thank you all for your warm replies, it's good to feel welcomed.

[Guest MormonGator]

 

 

It's almost like I was born too late in this culture, my values are so old school and traditional, but then again, I suppose we are born into this world to show through example what these increasingly declining values are about.  

 

 Dude (assuming gender based on screen name, apologies if you are female)-

 

I know people who feel the same way but I must admit I don't. It's an amazing, beautiful world out there and being LDS has made me appreciate it much, much more. No matter what happens in your faith journey, just know that becoming LDS is the greatest thing that ever happened to me and I know several people who would say the same. 

 

Praying for you

Edited May 27, 2015 by MormonGator