Bini Posted June 2, 2015 Report Share Posted June 2, 2015 How do you feel about unmarried teachers showing affection for a boyfriend or girlfriend? Is it offensive to you? Would it make a difference if the teacher was showing affection to a spouse? My daughter takes dance and just adores her teacher. Ms. X is a divorced woman with three girls and has been single for awhile. But earlier this year, a mysterious man showed up, and would drop by after she finished teaching. The gossip I heard going around from other dance mothers was appalling. How dare they kiss in front of the girls! Really? They're not climbing and pawing all over each other, he drops in after classes, and they give each other a kiss - mostly it's a peck. I have Ms. X on Facebook and know the two have been dating quite a while now but she had chosen to keep things private. I think some of the mothers are realising this isn't some summer fling, too, especially after Ms. X publicly announced they are engaged :) I am so happy for her, but gees, the gossip and assumptions people have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 2, 2015 Report Share Posted June 2, 2015 Silly busybodies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane_Doe Posted June 2, 2015 Report Share Posted June 2, 2015 I think some of the mothers are realising this isn't some summer fling, too, especially after Ms. X publicly announced they are engaged :) I am so happy for her, but gees, the gossip and assumptions people have. Amen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted June 2, 2015 Report Share Posted June 2, 2015 I am not a fan of the PDA (though I have been guilty of it on occasion). I have always made an exception for brief exchanges of affection, such as a kiss, between married people. With same-sex marriage now becoming legal in many states, I no longer have the stomach even for that. I doubt I would have been bothered by the situation you describe, but I see no harm in the policy of keeping your physical expressions of affection private. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Folk Prophet Posted June 2, 2015 Report Share Posted June 2, 2015 I am not a fan of the PDA (though I have been guilty of it on occasion). I have always made an exception for brief exchanges of affection, such as a kiss, between married people. With same-sex marriage now becoming legal in many states, I no longer have the stomach even for that. I'm not about to stop kissing my wife in public just because I disapprove of two dudes doing the same. NightSG and Jane_Doe 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omegaseamaster75 Posted June 2, 2015 Report Share Posted June 2, 2015 (edited) Silly prudes who should mind their own business (this is in response to the OP and my reaction to that situation) Edited June 2, 2015 by omegaseamaster75 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted June 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 2, 2015 I am not a fan of the PDA (though I have been guilty of it on occasion). I have always made an exception for brief exchanges of affection, such as a kiss, between married people. With same-sex marriage now becoming legal in many states, I no longer have the stomach even for that. I doubt I would have been bothered by the situation you describe, but I see no harm in the policy of keeping your physical expressions of affection private. I don't know if this is the cause for how one was raised or not but I came from a family that was loving, however, hugs and kisses weren't bountiful like other families. Public affection was especially rare, even, between my parents. So I grew up feeling similarly, not feeling compelled to hold hands, embrace, or kiss. Even after marriage, I had a tough time with it. But over the years, I have become a lot more receptive to it, and I feel almost like something is missing if I'm not able to show my husband affection while we're out and about doing our thing - whether it's a hug or kiss. NightSG 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted June 2, 2015 Report Share Posted June 2, 2015 Yeah, me too. From my perspective as a parent, I'm more interested in what the kids are thinking about the gossipy busybodies, than the bf/gf kissing. I find it interesting that God, pure love that He is, actually hates certain things. And four of these things are often found in idle gossip: A proud look, an heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, a false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren. NightSG, classylady, Windseeker and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
estradling75 Posted June 2, 2015 Report Share Posted June 2, 2015 There are kisses and then there are KISSES... The ones where it is pretty quick don't bother me... But then there are kisses that go on and I begin to think "Go get a room people" those do. I assume that the ones we are talking about were of the first type. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted June 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 2, 2015 There are kisses and then there are KISSES... The ones where it is pretty quick don't bother me... But then there are kisses that go on and I begin to think "Go get a room people" those do. I assume that the ones we are talking about were of the first type.Not even that, a peck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leah Posted June 2, 2015 Report Share Posted June 2, 2015 I really don't understand the parents' reaction. It's just a simple kiss in greeting between an engaged couple. What's the scandal? Surely these women kissed their spouses before marriage! If it were some sort of make-out session in front of the kids - even if a married couple - that would be another matter. But this sounds like a simple, affectionate kiss. Heck, lots of people exchange pecks on the cheek in greeting in a non-romantic relationship. I used to have a brother-in-law and nephew who greeted me this way. I grew up in a household where affection - physical or otherwise - was pretty non-existent and wasn't in the habit of greeting people this way myself, but I just went with it in the spirit it was given and didn't clutch my pearls over it. Is this a particularly conservative group of moms? I can't fathom what their issue is unless they just love to wallow in gossip about anyone and anything. But even in a conservative group, this seems like an over-the-top reaction, especially in today's society when we have some completely irresponsible single mothers who think nothing of having a parade of boyfriends in their bed, exposing their children to something that's truly messed up (I've had a few co-workers over the years that I just wanted to shake some sense into for their childrens' sake). Maybe they are jealous/envious. I have known women who weren't happy in their own relationships and couldn't stand to see anyone else happy and affectionate. And if the moms are gossiping in front of their kids or making an issue of this in front of them...well, then...double shame on them. (I am home on medical leave for six weeks so excuse my verbose posts. I am not getting much human contact! LOL) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
classylady Posted June 2, 2015 Report Share Posted June 2, 2015 I can't understand why anyone would find a simple hug or kiss offensive. If it was my child's teacher, I would be happy for her. NightSG 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mordorbund Posted June 2, 2015 Report Share Posted June 2, 2015 Not even that, a peck. Was it a peck of pickled puckers? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted June 2, 2015 Report Share Posted June 2, 2015 I generally agree--a peck, no big deal--but I would also note, having taught in Primary, that I wouldn't so much as hold Just_A_Girl's hand in front of a class of kids under 12 unless I was prepared to lose complete control of the class for at least five minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted June 2, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 2, 2015 I generally agree--a peck, no big deal--but I would also note, having taught in Primary, that I wouldn't so much as hold Just_A_Girl's hand in front of a class of kids under 12 unless I was prepared to lose complete control of the class for at least five minutes.I think it's good for kids under 12 to see affection, not bedroom affection, but hugs and kisses between loving couples. Not implying that's wgat you meant, just a thought I had upon reading your comment. Still, any affectionate hug/kiss was done AFTER Ms. X taught, so when the studio was in session - she was teaching, period. Just_A_Guy and NightSG 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightSG Posted June 5, 2015 Report Share Posted June 5, 2015 I can't understand why anyone would find a simple hug or kiss offensive. If it was my child's teacher, I would be happy for her. Then again, you also have the couples where neither can go to the bathroom or refill a soda in a restaurant without a kiss before and after. Having to get six feet apart to get into opposite sides of the car often demands the same before separating and after rejoining. A half hour in their presence basically becomes a five minute make out session broken into five second chunks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted June 24, 2015 Report Share Posted June 24, 2015 I recall once years ago my boyfriend at the time bringing me flowers to school. First graders didn't seem to mind, though I was a bit embarrassed when they told my mentor "Teacher's boyfriend came over!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted June 24, 2015 Report Share Posted June 24, 2015 (edited) I remember in third grade. Miss Gardner was the mean teacher. Then she became Mrs. Wright and was even meaner. By the end of the year she was Miss Gardner again. We kids often speculated that maybe if there had been less mean and more smoochin', she might have stayed Mrs Wright. Edited June 24, 2015 by NeuroTypical Backroads 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted June 24, 2015 Report Share Posted June 24, 2015 I remember in third grade. Miss Gardner was the mean teacher. Then she became Mrs. Wright and was even meaner. By the end of the year she was Miss Gardner again. We kids often speculated that maybe if there had been less mean and more smoochin', she might have stayed Mrs Wright. So we can assume that Mr. Wright wasn't. NeuroTypical and Backroads 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 24, 2015 Report Share Posted June 24, 2015 So we can assume that Mr. Wright wasn't. Yep. Welcome to inner workings of a 3rd grader's mind. LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted June 24, 2015 Report Share Posted June 24, 2015 I remember feeling so smart for making that joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted June 24, 2015 Report Share Posted June 24, 2015 I remember feeling so smart for making that joke. Hah! I'm as smart as a third grader! Yay me! NeuroTypical 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 24, 2015 Report Share Posted June 24, 2015 Hah! I'm as smart as a third grader! Yay me! Now you know why we must be as little children to enter the Kingdom... gotta be as smart as a 3rd grader to get the pun. Or is it a pun or just a homonym? My head hurts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted June 24, 2015 Report Share Posted June 24, 2015 Don't sell yourself short, Vort. You're as smart as a Very Smart third grader. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iggy Posted June 24, 2015 Report Share Posted June 24, 2015 Yeah, me too. From my perspective as a parent, I'm more interested in what the kids are thinking about the gossipy busybodies, than the bf/gf kissing. I find it interesting that God, pure love that He is, actually hates certain things. And four of these things are often found in idle gossip: A proud look, an heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, a false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.I agree - the gossiping is more detrimental than the affectionate peck on the cheek. What comments has your daughter made Bini? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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