Why is church attendance a requirement for a Temple Recommend?


char713
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I have been wondering this for some time. Why, if a person can answer honestly in the affirmative to all of the other TR interview questions, is a lack of regular church attendance a problem?

 

I understand that church attendance helps members be known to leaders and to each other, and gives opportunities to serve and bear testimony, and all of that. Certainly, frequent or complete absence from church can often be a signal that someone has become disaffected or are not keeping their covenants. But to me it seems more like a symptom to be investigated rather than a disease to be cured. Is it impossible that someone can be entirely temple worthy but just unable, for whatever reason, to come to church? 

 

This has for the past couple of years been the ONLY thing that has kept me from the temple. 

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One of the blessings of baptism, which is also one of its covenants, is to fellowship with the Saints. One also has a responsibility to partake of the sacrament often. Our leaders have determined that Church "activity" is the measure of the keeping of these covenants. Indeed, if a person cannot be bothered to attend a few hours of meetings per week, one might reasonably ask why s/he would want to be spending time in the temple.

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Is it impossible that someone can be entirely temple worthy but just unable, for whatever reason, to come to church?

 

Yes, this is possible, for example with extended illness. In such cases, the person might still receive a temple recommend, even if s/he cannot exercise its use. In other cases, e.g. someone's work schedule includes Sunday work that always interferes with Church attendance, I don't know the policy. A bishop could fill you in on that.

 

Can you give a hypothetical example (aside from always being assigned a nursing shift during the day on Sunday or something similar, which I can't answer) of where someone might not attend Church much but still be worthy and able to attend temple sessions? I am not having much success envisioning a situation where a person is physically unable to go to Church but is just fine going to a temple session.

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Not physically unable, but emotionally and mentally. For example, if someone had almost debilitiating levels of shyness. Church is largely a social experience, and simply attending long enough to partake of the Sacrament is not enough to fulfill the requirement, all three meetings are expected. The temple is a much more peaceful, much less socially-demanding atmosphere. If being in large groups for three hours a week is too much for someone, and actually makes their week (on a mental level) much harder rather than easier, meeting the attendance requirements for worthiness could be a very hard battle. 

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It is a problem because having a TR and not attending meetings is a contradictory condition.

In 3rd Nephi the Savior said that we shall meet together oft. Shall = commandment.

If one truly understands the ordinance of the sacrament, they would have a very strong desire to partake of the sacrament often. If that desire is not there, a lack of faith, or understanding, or both are common reasons why that desire is missing.

Now, as mentioned earlier there are some medical reasons that prevent people from sending their meetings. This is fine and they can have recommends, but if there is no medical reason, a serious problem exits and repentance (change) is required.

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That sounds like a case that only the bishop could decide on.

 

But I would wonder if the person in question was receiving any help with their social anxiety, because that isn't normal. I don't mean that in a mean way, but it's not healthy and the person deserves a better life than that.

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A sister in our ward does not attend sacrament on Sundays because she has an illness that prevents her from sitting down longer than 10 minutes at a time (her bones are very fragile).  But, every Sunday, a Deacon and a Priest with one of the Elders go to her house to give her the sacrament.  She has a current temple recommend even if she can't physically attend sessions in the temple.

Edited by anatess
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My MIL is bedridden since December and has not been in church for at least 8 years due to other physical limitations...She also had a calling until just recently when her mental health took a turn for the worse... but, she holds a current Temple Recommend. The Bishop's First Counselor came to the house last week to renew her recommend and the Stake President will come to talk with her and sign it.

 

She has not been to the Temple in at least 10 or more years but she still feels the blessings of holding the recommend.

 

They come every Sunday to give her the Sacrament.

 

As far as attending the full block... When my husband is working, (he works out of town and/or out of the state)... we go to Sacrament and leave right after to drive to where he is working. So there are times that we do not attend the full block for over a year or more. We drive home each weekend to take care of things at home. We both hold current recommends and attend the Temple on a regular basis.

 

There are circumstances and the Bishop would be the one to let you know the answer to your question.

Edited by AngelMarvel
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I can't see how someone is too "shy" to attend Sacrament meeting but not too "shy" to attend Temple.  That doesn't make sense.

Also, I've never heard of the disease of "shyness".

Sounds like saying oh yes, my psychiatrist says I suffer from a medical condition known as laziness and so I can't work and have to receive disability pay.

I think the best cure would be "go to Sacrament meeting each and every week".

dc

Edited by David13
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Is it impossible that someone can be entirely temple worthy but just unable, for whatever reason, to come to church? 

 

This has for the past couple of years been the ONLY thing that has kept me from the temple. 

It is entirely up to your bishop and stake president. They do give recommends to people who cannot attend church. If you share with them your specifics, they may in fact feel justified in issuing a recommend. Don't hold yourself back from asking.

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Not physically unable, but emotionally and mentally. For example, if someone had almost debilitiating levels of shyness. Church is largely a social experience, and simply attending long enough to partake of the Sacrament is not enough to fulfill the requirement, all three meetings are expected. The temple is a much more peaceful, much less socially-demanding atmosphere. If being in large groups for three hours a week is too much for someone, and actually makes their week (on a mental level) much harder rather than easier, meeting the attendance requirements for worthiness could be a very hard battle. 

 

 

We had a couple in our ward that had anxiety (I can only assume social anxiety as I was not privy to specifics). They would attend as much of the 3 meetings as they could. For Sacrament meeting, they sat in the foyer as being in the same room with all of the people was too stressful. They were served the sacrament in the foyer. For the other 2 meetings, sometimes they would start off in the room for SS or RS/PH, but then end up either in the foyer or sometimes their car.  

 

I don't know for certain that they had their temple recommend (because, again, it isn't any of my business), but goodness, that sure sounds like someone "striving" to attend their meetings.  

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Not physically unable, but emotionally and mentally. For example, if someone had almost debilitiating levels of shyness. Church is largely a social experience, and simply attending long enough to partake of the Sacrament is not enough to fulfill the requirement, all three meetings are expected. The temple is a much more peaceful, much less socially-demanding atmosphere. If being in large groups for three hours a week is too much for someone, and actually makes their week (on a mental level) much harder rather than easier, meeting the attendance requirements for worthiness could be a very hard battle. 

It is only "largely a social experience" if that is what an individual decides to make of it.

 

Attending Sunday meetings is not about having a social hour, even though there are those who seem to make that their focus.  As others have stated, it is about things such as renewing your baptismal covenants in taking the sacrament, etc.

 

You can attend your meetings at whatever level of "social" ability you desire.  There are plenty of people who go to their meetings and participate more quietly, if you will.   There is no need to be a social butterfly, turning church into a social experience instead of a spiritual one.  No one has any issues with someone who attends sacrament being quiet and reverent instead of chatting throughout the meeting.  You can sit quietly in the back of your other meetings and not participate in the discussions, if you don't care to.

 

That said, temple attendance also requires social interaction.  You won't be alone in the endowment room, etc.

 

Bottom line is that it's up to your bishop and stake president to decide if you are worthy to attend the temple.  It's not up to strangers on a discussion board and it won't make any difference to plead your case here.  You need to - as does everyone who attends the temple - work with your leaders on doing the things you need to do to become temple worthy.

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Thanks everyone. I should have said more specifically that I am wondering why church attendance is a measure of worthiness, why it is on almost the same level as word of wisdom concerns. Attendance may be a measure of whether someone is prepared to hold a calling that has a bigger impact on the ward. It certainly is an indicator of whether or not covenants are being kept, as I said before. But if someone is genuinely worthy in all areas except for their inability to consistently manage their own well-being at or after church, because of social anxiety or whatever, that makes them unworthy? I guess beefche's response is the one that is most helpful, and I hope the bishop would see those efforts and take them for what they are.

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Thanks everyone. I should have said more specifically that I am wondering why church attendance is a measure of worthiness, why it is on almost the same level as word of wisdom concerns. 

 

Conversely, why should someone who is fully active, serving, loving, and dedicated in all ways, but has a coffee habit be kept from the temple?

 

Obedience is the measure of worthiness.

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 But if someone is genuinely worthy in all areas except for their inability to consistently manage their own well-being at or after church, because of social anxiety or whatever, that makes them unworthy?

 

I have not seen anybody in this entire thread say they are (I could be wrong).  All the answers all say things towards "the Bishop determines worthiness".... which is the case in any and all weaknesses in whatever form it comes in.  A truly worthy person struggling with a personal weakness that affects Church attendance will need to talk to the bishop to give him the chance to do his duty as the Lord's steward.  If he so decides that the person is not deemed worthy to hold a TR, then it would be because the bishop, as the Lord's steward, discerned that the person is capable of fulfilling the covenant.

Edited by anatess
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I think TFP's response is valid.  There has to be a baseline to determine worthiness.  While the bishop and stake president have discernment as a gift, they are not omniscient.  

 

One of the covenants we make in the temple is to sacrifice our time, talents, etc. for the building up of the kingdom. If we can't even keep the commandment to partake of the Lord's supper, how can we consider ourselves as sacrificing all?  As mentioned before, there are extenuating circumstances (such as work schedules, chronic illnesses, etc.) that may prevent us from attending our Sunday meetings. But, even those individuals need to speak to their bishops and answer the same TR questions that we do.  And sometimes, the answer to the questions aren't a simple, "Yes" or "No." Sometimes, it will be a discussion.

 

So, I think the simple answer to your question is that yes, someone who does not attend meetings on Sunday can be worthy.  But it is up to the bishop and stake president to help someone know if they continue to be worthy to hold a TR.

 

Mental illnesses are real. But, there are ways to receive help and treatment. And even one with mental illness is required to meet standards to obtain a TR.  Just as the couple in my example, perhaps attending SM in the foyer can be the solution.

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I have not seen anybody in this entire thread say they are (I could be wrong).  All the answers all say things towards "the Bishop determines worthiness".... which is the case in any and all weaknesses in whatever form it comes in.  A truly worthy person struggling with a personal weakness that affects Church attendance will need to talk to the bishop to give him the chance to do his duty as the Lord's steward.  If he so decides that the person is not deemed worthy to hold a TR, then it would be because the bishop, as the Lord's steward, discerned that the person is capable of fulfilling the covenant.

 

A few points of response:

 

1. The bishop has the right to determine qualifications for a temple recommend, but he does not, actually determine worthiness. That is between you and the Lord and the Spirit. For example, one could (as has happened many a time) simply lie to the bishop and attend the temple "bishop approved", but this does not make them "worthy".

 

2. If we take the example to the extreme, it might be helpful (of course, more likely it'll just offend because for some reason people have a difficult time taking the point out of an extreme example instead of comparing it directly and literally): If one had a proclivity to rape and murder does it justify that activity or render the doer "worthy" because they "struggle" that way?

 

I'm not saying it's an apples to apples comparison, and don't believe that point-blank, anyone who doesn't attend church is not worthy. Clearly there are reasons why people do not or cannot attend church who are worthy (which is why the only appropriate response is, indeed, go see one's bishop). But as a general rule, I'm not sure mental and emotional issues that make doing the Lord's will difficult count, because when it really comes down to it, do we not all struggle at some level with mental and emotional issues with obeying all the Lord's commandments?

 

As a general rule, we are not victims. We choose and we act. The fact that it's hard to do is what makes it a test. If it was easy, it wouldn't test anyone.

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  • On a personal level, I sympathize and hope for the best.

 

As I really stink at communicating this sort of thing sometimes I wanted to add the same thought. My discussions are "philosophical". But the philosophy of it does not make the trial any easier, and I do sympathize.

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In an earlier thread of yours, where you were felling pressured by family to attend the temple, you talked about the fact that you and your husband have both been inactive for quite some time and stated quite clearly that it was "mostly" because of how you felt you were being treated in the ward.

Is this what you are referring to as "social anxiety"?

If your bishop is aware of this previously stated reason for not attending church, then that most likely is a factor in his decision about your TR, as choosing to be inactive due to perceived slights is a different situation altogether. And there is most definitely a remedy for this situation, but it will require effort on your part. Everyone has to put forth sincere effort in order to be temple worthy so there are expectations for everyone.

And, yes, it's "fair" that high expectations are held for temple recommends. It's in everyone's best interests.

A woman in my last Ward had such crippling social anxiety issues that she has never held a job. But she is able to faithfully attend her meetings and hold callings. On my first trip to the temple to do baptisms (as an adult conver), she made her first trip ever to the temple. I felt honored to be a part of that.

Just this past Sunday, a young woman whose family I know well, gave an incredibly moving testimony. She spoke of how, given her own choice, she would simply never leave her bedroom. But she attends all of her meetings every week and even teaches in RS. She spoke of how the only reason that she is able to do these things is because she loves the gospel SO much that she can overcome her anxiety to participate and share the gospel. That she actually gets so excited about the gospel that the anxiety simply cannot stand her way. She could just throw up her hand and say "I can't" but she has the faith that Heavenly Father will help her to do those things that need to be done.

Doing those things necessary to enter the temple are always worth it.

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Yeah, part of it is that people are cruel and I am not in a strong enough position myself right now to drop my safeguards and allow myself to be exposed every week to persistent, so-called "well-meaning" cruelty. And a different part of it is whatever type of social anxiety that I have, I beat myself up plenty in my own head without anyone else's help. Spending time in large groups always makes it harder to withstand and ignore that inner turmoil, for days afterward. So I can choose either church attendance and the benefits I hope will one day actually start to come from that. And the aggrevated risks in the days that follow. Or I can accept that there are people and situations that I cannot change, put my safety and well-being first, and hope that whomever our next Bishop is will be more willing to at least listen and try to understand. 

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Or I can accept that there are people and situations that I cannot change, put my safety and well-being first, and hope that whomever our next Bishop is will be more willing to at least listen and try to understand. 

 

This raised a flag...

 

Seems like you believe that this current Bishop is a fake Bishop and is not inspired by God.

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This raised a flag...

 

Seems like you believe that this current Bishop is a fake Bishop and is not inspired by God.

Inspired by God or not, bishops are still people with filters created by a lifetime of history. There are bad bishops. I've had them. They are called by God, but they may not listen or have some area of personal growth they need to go through themselves. We don't have a doctrine of infallibility. 

 

I would encourage my young sister to continue to talk to the bishop to help him understand.

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