Windseeker Posted August 31, 2015 Report Share Posted August 31, 2015 Is it ever appropriate to force a child to see the Bishop when serious transgressions come to light? Would there be some ages where it's necessary and others where they need to make that decision on their own? What are you thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sxfritz Posted August 31, 2015 Report Share Posted August 31, 2015 The child being a minor, I wouldn't force the visit but I would tell the bishop. The child being an adult, I wouldn't (and didn't). Windseeker 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omegaseamaster75 Posted August 31, 2015 Report Share Posted August 31, 2015 define serious transgression? I wouldn't force anyone though salvation is personal they need to want to do it. I can't imagine serious transgression before the teenage years though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Windseeker Posted August 31, 2015 Author Report Share Posted August 31, 2015 I'm talking about teens and older children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omegaseamaster75 Posted August 31, 2015 Report Share Posted August 31, 2015 Teens know the deal, I wouldn't force it. I would strongly encourage and I would rat my kid out if they were unworthy to say pass the sacrament etc. Windseeker 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irishcolleen Posted August 31, 2015 Report Share Posted August 31, 2015 I think when the child (minor) is on a self-destructive path, parents need to seek help if the actions they have taken don't work. That help could be from a bishop, counselor, etc... You need to do whatever it takes toget your child back on track. Windseeker 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted August 31, 2015 Report Share Posted August 31, 2015 (edited) IMO, pretty much nothing in our about our church should have anything even remotely resembling force. If it doesn't look like a hand, lovingly outstretched in invitation, it shouldn't be part of our church experience. This isn't always possible, but it should usually be possible. So, I helped get a guy excommunicated. He had been convicted of molesting an 8 yr old girl, and was in prison. His bishop convened a disciplinary council, and the invitation was extended to him, to provide input/give testimony/give evidence/defend his name/say anything he wanted to from prison in the form of a letter. (I wasn't there, this is what the stake president told me what happened.) Dood declined to accept the invitation to participate. The DC was held, and excommunication was the result. As the SP related the story, I understood that he was able to feel love and concern for everyone involved - victim and perp, and all affected family members. In the case of a child doing something serious, I can see offering, begging, urging, pleading, crying, praying for the child to agree to meet with the bishop. But I can't see manipulating or forcing. I can see letting natural consequences from a refusal flow, but I'd be hesitant to threaten or impose consequences in order to pressure the kid. I can see grey areas. Natural consequence: "I've lost trust in you, and because you're declining to make things right, I think I'm done paying for your cell phone." Manipulative pressuring consequence: "You can have your cell phone back after you see the bishop and he tells me everything's done." Hard to tell the difference between those two. It's a matter of the heart, and where the heart's compass is pointed I guess. Edited August 31, 2015 by NeuroTypical Irishcolleen, Jane_Doe and Windseeker 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clwnuke Posted August 31, 2015 Report Share Posted August 31, 2015 Having been in that situation I can honestly say I did not freak out. I simply testified to my child about the blessings that I saw come from numerous confessions and church courts. I offered to assist if and when my child decided to approach the Bishop and left the matter alone until they were ready. I did not pry into details either. Eventually my child made the decision to speak to the Bishop (who was a wonderful brother) and asked for my support and help. It took some time, but the process was a blessing. Years later I think it surprised the Bishop when he learned that I did not know everything that had happened, nor did I feel the need to know. These days I really don't care what people's sins are, I just care about them. I have not always been able to say that. The Lord had to help open my eyes to the depth and breadth of His Love and Atonement before I could understand that my limited role involved mostly working on my own abundant weaknesses and gently succoring His children when appropriate. Windseeker, Jane_Doe and omegaseamaster75 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 In the past I had youth come and confess sins of a sexual nature and during our conversations they would ask me if I was going to tell their parents. If they were a minor by law I always told No I would not tell their parents. Then I said ..... You are going to tell them and you can do this one or two ways .....then I gave them my suggestions. I would keep current with them over time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 1, 2015 Report Share Posted September 1, 2015 (edited) Having been in that situation I can honestly say I did not freak out. I simply testified to my child about the blessings that I saw come from numerous confessions and church courts. I offered to assist if and when my child decided to approach the Bishop and left the matter alone until they were ready. I did not pry into details either. Eventually my child made the decision to speak to the Bishop (who was a wonderful brother) and asked for my support and help. It took some time, but the process was a blessing. Years later I think it surprised the Bishop when he learned that I did not know everything that had happened, nor did I feel the need to know. These days I really don't care what people's sins are, I just care about them. I have not always been able to say that. The Lord had to help open my eyes to the depth and breadth of His Love and Atonement before I could understand that my limited role involved mostly working on my own abundant weaknesses and gently succoring His children when appropriate. I'm not sure I understand this... Your child comes to you saying he has transgressed and you told him you didn't need to know the details of the transgression he needs to talk to his Bishop instead? Edited September 1, 2015 by anatess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.