Modesty in Speech


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One aspect of modesty that I rarely hear anything said about is modesty in speech. I started looking into this particular topic about eight months ago after being disgusted by the constant cussing by my coworkers. Some guys I worked with included the F word in every paragraph at least once. Then I began wondering about my own speech. I do not swear or take the name of God in vain. I was taught early not to use swear words by the simple expedient of getting my mouth washed out with soap.

 

I began considering my use of substitute swear words, “Mormon” swear words and I began looking into it. I came to the conclusion that I needed to change my language. This is still a work in progress as I find myself still using different substitute words for things like fecal matter and I wondered how John Crapper would have felt if he realized his last name had been turned into substitute swear word.

 

Coincidentally enough, there is an article in the August Ensign about this very subject. The parents were concerned about what type of language kids were hearing in school and came up with the following acronym.

 

 

We also taught a family home evening lesson about using C.L.E.A.N. language:

C – Choose your words carefully.

L – Learn the meanings of words before using them.

E – Encourage others with the words you say.

A – Avoid slang or replacement words.

N – Never use hurtful or vulgar language.

“Teaching Gospel Standards: One Family's Experience,” Ensign, Aug 2015, Pg. 48

 

 

 

I taught my children to use proper anatomical language for their body parts and bodily functions. I also taught them that you can say words like, “hell”, “damn,” and “ass” if you are using them in their proper context, otherwise they are not acceptable.

 

There are a number of other articles on the Church web site regarding modesty in speech and I have come to the conclusion that the best way to be modest in my speech is to speak as the language was intended using proper grammar, terminology and phrasing.

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A friend of mine (not a member of the church, in fact not even religious so far as I know) was just the other day talking about the decline of modesty in the world today.  Interestingly, he was not talking about about clothing styles at all.  He was talking about the "selfie" craze that photographs, markets, and promotes themselves none-stop.   

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Modesty in speech is certainly another laudable goal, as long as it is approached correctly. Interestingly, your post, especially your final statement

I have come to the conclusion that the best way to be modest in my speech is to speak as the language was intended using proper grammar, terminology and phrasing.
reminded me of one my pet peeves from BYU.

 

I recall many "non-Utah Mormon" students at BYU who really liked to put down "Utah Mormons", including the way we spoke. One of the dumbest practices they would decry is the habit of some of my fellow Utah Mormons to pronounce words differently -- such as those who pronounce "root" so that it rhymes with "foot" instead of "boot". Others would belittle those whose language and speech made them sound like "some Utah hick". I am all for using language correctly and properly, but I can also see how this sometimes gets used to belittle and put down our fellow man.

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In my house, we teach that Words are Important because they have Meaning.  Substitution words are as bad as the words they substitute for because it doesn't change the meaning/thought conveyed.

 

So that, my kids know that if they have to substitute the words, then they will have to stop and think if they need to check their attitude and then come up with a better sentence.

 

The word "like" is especially watched in my house.  They could end up washing windows with enough misused "like"s.

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From my teenage years I earned to love the German language because it is so straight forward, logical and literal.  Basically the difference in German between swearing and and not swearing (slang) is not the words that are used but the emphasis or energy placed in using the words.  In essence, anything shouted out in anger or with viscous spiteful intention is considered swearing or cussing.  

 

I would also suggest that an evil cousin of swearing is providing safe harbor to angry, viscous or spiteful thoughts.  Holding one's tongue may be better than speaking some words but allowing such thoughts to fester is hardly an act of virtue.

Edited by Traveler
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Well said!  You are so very right!

 

I have to put a rider to this.

 

This came about because my husband is English speaking whereas English is not my first language.  Many times, I don't even know that the English words I hear is coarse language.  And, of course, coarse language in my language flies by my husband without a blink.

 

So then, my parents have the propensity to not stretch the vowels in the American fashion (those sounds don't exist in my language)... and so they would say things like, "Change your bedsheets" and it would shock my husband and kids... or they would say things like, "As a matter of fact" and my husband and kids would go apoplectic.

 

And so then my kids would hang out with their cousins and they would learn some naughty words in my language - like the Spanish word for milk is a bad word in my language - and my husband would praise them for knowing Spanish while I would go apoplectic.

 

My kids were starting to be quite the Tasmanian devils with the dual language so we put a quick stop to it.

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