Joke

[Jamie123]

The Pope goes on an official visit to New Your City. When he gets off the plane at JFK Airport there is a limousine waiting for him. It is a very nice shiny limousine and the Pope likes the look at it.

 

"Driver," he says to the driver. "I've always wanted to drive a nice shiny limousine like this, but I've never got to do it. Please will you let me drive it to the hotel?"

 

"I can't let you do that Your Holiness," says the driver. "You're the Pope. You're supposed to sit comfortably in the back and wave to people while I do the driving."

 

"Oh please!" says the Pope. "I'm so sick of sitting in the back and waving. It's all I ever get to do! Just this once I want to drive for a change!"

 

The driver thinks about this for a moment; he's sure this is against the rules, but this is the Pope.

 

"All right," he says. "But please Your Holiness, be careful!"

 

"Oh I will!" says the Pope eagerly, jumping into the driver's seat and revving the engine. Reluctantly the driver climbs into the back and off they go.

 

At first the Pope drives carefully, obeying all the street signs, but gradually the power of this beautiful car goes to his head. He wants to see how fast he can make it go! The speedometer creeps slowly up: 35mph, 40mph...50mph!

 

Eventually he is driving through Manhattan at 60 mph, and he is pulled over by a traffic cop.

 

The cop takes one look at him, turns almost as white as the Pope's robes, and radios his superior officer at the station.

 

"Excuse me Lieutenant," he says. "I've pulled someone over for speeding, but...well, he's someone rather important."

 

"Who?" asks the lieutenant. "Is it the Mayor?"

 

"No," says the cop, "More important than that!"

 

"Well...is it the State Governor?"

 

"No sir....more important than that even!"

 

"Don't tell me you've stopped the President!"

 

"No...even more important than him!"

 

"Well....who?"

 

The cop pauses before replying.

 

"Well sir....I think it must be God, because the Pope is driving!"

Edited October 9, 2015 by Jamie123

[pam]

Mormons tell that same joke but using President Monson as the person driving.

[Blackmarch]

good one

[Guest]

There's also a joke about the Pope finally getting a chance to drive the car... He was so joyous having driven all day when he realizes it is already 5:30PM.  He then begins to drive very very fast headed home.  He looks at his watch and it was 5:45, so he stops the car, puts the automatic gear shift to R, and presses the gas hard!  He immediately smashes into the car behind him.

 

The cop comes to investigate the accident and he asked... why were you driving so fast?  Are you afraid you're going to miss the Angelus (6 o'clock prayer)?  The Pope says... no, I was afraid to get stranded at sunset.  See, this car they gave me is broken.  The Daylight driving works perfectly (pointing to the D in the gear box).  But the Nighttime driving doesn't work (pointing to the N in the gear box).  The car won't move.  And now, I just realized the Racing option is broken too.  It sent the car backward.

[prisonchaplain]

I'm not for a minute suggesting that the following joke bares any relation to the level of humor already expressed in the previous posts.

 

 

So, my boss calls me and says, "Hey chaplain, you wanna hear a really stupid joke?"

 

He's the boss, so what choice do I have?  "Sure."

 

"Great," replies the boss.  "Come over, we need to discuss your performance evaluation."

[SGoodman]

I was told that most Mormon women stop having children after 34....

Because 35 is just too many.

[SGoodman]

Jeff Foxworthy gave us the "You might be a redneck" style of jokes. Here are some tailored for Mormons.

If your first car is a minvan, you just might be a Mormon.

If a three bedroom home counts as a starter home, you might be a Mormon.

If "The First Vision" isn't a reference to anything you did in the sixties, you might be a Mormon.

If a Stake isn't for holding down a tent and a Ward isn't a child in your custody, you might be a Mormon.

If you have more money invested in food in your basement than in clothes in your closet, you might be a Mormon.

If you're at a wedding and the bride isn't pregnant....but her mother is, you might be a Mormon.

And the last one is my favorite even though it isn't funny...

If you go to great lengths and expense to do a service you don't understand for people you don't know who may or may not want it anyway, you may be a Mormon.