Words that do not quite work out as intended

[Traveler]

I have a tool and I do not know what it is called – it has a blade for digging trenches and chopping roots and a pick for digging and breaking up the ground.  It is kind of a hoe on steroids.  Anyway I cannot find the thing and am quite sure one of my kids borrowed it and has forgotten to return it.  I need the tool for spring cleaning and since the family was together for a baby blessing Sunday I thought I would ask if anyone has seen the tool.  So I asked, “Has anyone seen my ax – hoe?”

Okay I learned three things from this experience:

1. My kids have difficulty hearing clearly

2. My kids have a very foul sense of humor.

3. I need to come up with another name for that tool.

The Traveler

[Guest]

I  believe it's called a trenching pick axe (specifically).  But nowadays, when we get a "pick axe" from the store, it is generally a "trenching pick axe" as the default.

[NeuroTypical]

This thing?

They rock - I hope you find yours.  I just thought it was a pickaxe.

[Guest]

There are many types.  Here is a basic pickaxe.  It has a pick on both ends.  This is more appropriately called a simple "pick".  But people also call this a pickaxe.

Some just have a pick.  The back can be used as a hammer.  This is obviously an older version.  But modern ones are not that different.

This is probably what you're used to seeing.  Pick / blade combo.

Then you have your wider blade type that is ideal for trenching.

Finally, you've got the vertical/horizontal blade combo that is something else.

I don't know what it's called.

 

Edited May 3, 2016 by Guest

[zil]

11 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

I don't know what it's called.

 

Maybe that one is the axe - hoe.

[Guest]

This is the gladius.  The roman sword used as an axe more than sword-to-sword combat.

This is the seax knife used for both close combat as well as throwing.

This is a daisho.  Depending on the owner it could have a katana, a han-dachi, a wakisashi, a tanto, etc.

This is the famed claymore of Scotland.  Pretty long, often categorized as a bastard sword.

This is the zweihander (German two-handed sword).  It is not for hand-to-hand combat.  It is used as a pike for defense against cavalry.  Then can be gripped at a higher point for some polearm combat.  Then discarded for shorter weapon for close range.

This is Excalibur--no explanation needed.

This is Anduril.  The sword remade from the shards of narsil.

 

[zil]

3 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

This is Anduril.  The sword remade from the shards of narsil.

 

Aaah, that's one of the best looking swords ever.  If they made a slightly scaled-down one (30-inch blade), I would buy one (battle-ready, of course).

[Guest]

11 minutes ago, zil said:

Aaah, that's one of the best looking swords ever.  If they made a slightly scaled-down one (30-inch blade), I would buy one (battle-ready, of course).

You could try Glamdring.  It's somewhat different.  The blade is about 6" shorter than Anduril.

http://www.amazon.com/United-Cutlery-UC2942-Glamdring-Gandalf/dp/B00A800LWY

There are some sellers that have a version of Anduril that is about 30" long, they don't have a full tang and they're only made of 440 stainless.  But if you're only looking for a wall mount, then that would be the way to go.  It's much cheaper.

Edited May 3, 2016 by Guest

[Guest]

I forgot the ninjato. This blade was specifically made straight instead of curved because it had multiple purposes.

When installed in the scabbard it could be used as a step ladder of sorts.  They leaned it up against a wall to make "an impossible jump" with the aid of the additional 2' or so and the square guard.  It was tied to a string that the ninja would use to pull it up after he got to the top of the wall.

Additionally, the scabbard had a removable end so that it could be used as an air pipe for hiding under water.  Some texturing and coloring were often used to give it the appearance of a reed.  The straight blade also helped the camouflage effect.

So, @Traveler,  if you don't get it back, I'd suggest a ninjato.

Edited May 3, 2016 by Guest

[tesuji]

2 hours ago, zil said:

Aaah, that's one of the best looking swords ever.  If they made a slightly scaled-down one (30-inch blade), I would buy one (battle-ready, of course).

Excellent choice for after the Trumpocalypse, for when everyone finally runs out of bullets ;D

Edited May 3, 2016 by tesuji

[tesuji]

So, Traveler, don't keep us in suspense. Is one of these the tool you were looking for?

[Vort]

11 hours ago, Traveler said:

I have a tool and I do not know what it is called – it has a blade for digging trenches and chopping roots and a pick for digging and breaking up the ground.  It is kind of a hoe on steroids.  Anyway I cannot find the thing and am quite sure one of my kids borrowed it and has forgotten to return it.  I need the tool for spring cleaning and since the family was together for a baby blessing Sunday I thought I would ask if anyone has seen the tool.  So I asked, “Has anyone seen my ax – hoe?”

Okay I learned three things from this experience:

1. My kids have difficulty hearing clearly

2. My kids have a very foul sense of humor.

3. I need to come up with another name for that tool.

The Traveler

I believe it is called a mattock.

[Traveler]

2 hours ago, Carborendum said:

 

I don't know what it's called.

 

This is perhaps the closest – I inherited the tool from my father that has passed away.  It is blued and appeared to be founded rather than mass produced as the picture would indicate.  When I got the tool I had to replace the handle because it was very old and not holding up. 

I wonder if the tool could have come from an earlier time – perhaps my father got it from his father? – who knows it may be worth $50 as an antique or something.  Obviously, most on the forum, as I did at the time, do not see the sick humor in the name I gave it – but my family got a major big laugh at what I called it.

 

The Traveler

[zil]

1 hour ago, Carborendum said:

You could try Glamdring.  It's somewhat different.  The blade is about 6" shorter than Anduril.

Still too long a blade for me (I'm short, would have a hard time pulling a blade longer than 30" from a scabbard worn at the hip).

1 hour ago, Carborendum said:

There are some sellers that have a version of Anduril that is about 30" long, they don't have a full tang and they're only made of 440 stainless.  But if you're only looking for a wall mount, then that would be the way to go.  It's much cheaper.

Pfffff.  I'm thinking of the Nomad sword from DarkSword Armory (best I could find for me).

[Maureen]

The English language can be funnier spoken than read. Just ask Vort when he tells his kids NO SECS. ?

M.

[Guest]

13 minutes ago, Traveler said:

Obviously, most on the forum, as I did at the time, do not see the sick humor in the name I gave it – but my family got a major big laugh at what I called it.

I'm sure most of us got it.  I just didn't want to appear to have a foul sense of humor, because I think I would have had the same reaction.

[Guest]

55 minutes ago, Vort said:

I believe it is called a mattock.

YES!  Specifically a "cutter mattock" as opposed to a "pick mattock".  I believe the "pick mattock" is the same as a "trenching pickaxe" but with the wider cutting blade.

$20 at Lowe's.

http://www.lowes.com/pd_607352-42268-TH-5M-K++34344___

Edited May 3, 2016 by Guest

[Guest]

15 minutes ago, Maureen said:

The English language can be funnier spoken than read. Just ask Vort when he tells his kids NO SECS. ?

M.

I have a specific, traumatic memory of sitting at the dinner table as a preteen and asking if I could have secs.

[Guest]

Well, I had just watched the Elvis movie "Kissin' Cousins" where they mentioned the initialism "ICBM" where they kept emphasizing the final letters stood for Ballistic Missile.

The following day, my siblings were talking about the bodily function with the same two initials.  I responded, "Oh, a ballistic missile?"

Edited May 3, 2016 by Guest

[Guest]

 

@Traveler

I have to thank you for posting this.  I have a particular project at home that I've been having trouble with because of the available tools.  A mattock will be the perfect tool for the job.  I'm going to get one on my way home.

 

[LeSellers]

18 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

I'm going to get one on my way home.

If you hadn't taken our grandchildren 1,000 miles away, you could just borrow mine.

Lehi

[Guest]

9 hours ago, zil said:

Aaah, that's one of the best looking swords ever.  If they made a slightly scaled-down one (30-inch blade), I would buy one (battle-ready, of course).

You're looking at the sword? (Kidding!)

I have one of those swords. I use it to chop dandelions.

[zil]

20 minutes ago, Eowyn said:

I use it to chop dandelions.

And I'll bet your neighbors never complain if you're a little late getting to them.

[Guest MormonGator]

So, in my high school we had a large amount of rednecks who would wear belt buckles the size of hubcaps. One time, someone got up, walked by me while I was sitting,  and I said "Mike, it's so big". 

 

Edited May 4, 2016 by MormonGator

[Traveler]

In my work we use a standard communication protocol to robotic tools in automated semiconductor manufacturing facilities called SECS/GEM.  Of course it is an acronym but when a spoken reference is made it is usually just called secs.  One time I was with a group of engineers heading to Asia.  We were waiting to catch a flight and one of the engineers was late.  He came running towards the gate yelling, “Sorry I am late but I forgot the secs manual”.   I could tell by the looks on the faces of the others at the gate that they had the wrong idea concerning what he was talking about.

 

Also many years ago I was working on a project for the Air Force.  It was software process that controlled a plasma panel (new tech at the time) that could be dynamically configured.  The process would determine what switches were configured and which switch was selected by the operator.  I had named my process “s” “hits” to stand for switch hits.  During a formal tech review with the Air Force Brass I had them rolling on the floor in laughter – mostly because I had no clue what was so funny.  It wasn’t until someone spoke the word that I caught on.  That’s what a Mormon boy that does not use those kinds of words gets when dealing with the military.  I should have learned this when I served in the army.

 

 

The Traveler