RubyJ

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  1. RubyJ

    Sunday dinners

    I talked to my husband about this and we have decided that we will take it on a week by week basis. We agreed if we are not going, he will cook dinner. I told him that I cook every other night of the week so by having dinner at my parents it was a break for me that I didn't want to give up. He is not comfortable with me going without him since he wants to spend Sunday together(and I want to spend Sunday with him as well) so we won't be doing that. It was good for us to talk, I think sometimes he forgets that being a SAHM is a 24/7 job. Yeah, he goes to work 5 days a week and so I do most of the household chores including dinner, but he gets a break on weekends and I don't. When we were living close to his family, we did go frequently including almost every Sunday. I had no problem with that since I like getting together with family and feel like his family is mine as well now.
  2. RubyJ

    Sunday dinners

    Thanks! I think I'll try telling him he can stay home and I will go, cook dinner for us or we all go to my parents. I never made him go but I think he feels that on Sunday we should be together. I don't think he thinks its a waste of time, just that we don't need to see them that often. We do see his family quite often. We were there 2 weeks ago during spring break and will be headed back this week for a wedding. We also lived by them for the first 3 years of our marriage.
  3. RubyJ

    Sunday dinners

    My husband and I live about 10 minutes away from my parents. My husbands family is 8 hours away so we don't see them that often. My parents have all the family over for dinner every Sunday. My husband thinks it is too much and does not want to go every Sunday. Last year when we first moved to close we were having an issue with my grandparents inviting us over too often so we privately decided that we would only accept an invitation once a month. Though now that we have lived here almost a year the get togethers have become less frequent and in fact neither one of my grandparents have had any of my family over for dinner in almost 2 months. My family has always gotten together frequently so I think it is normal but my husband finds it weird and thinks it takes up too much time. My first priority is my husband and our son so I am willing to limit the number of visits. However, I don't want to cook Sunday dinner when there is a perfectly good meal only 10 minutes away. Is it wrong to tell my husband that if he doesn't want to go, we will stay home but he has to then cook dinner?
  4. You're right, you haven't heard her side of the story, which I'd imagine would be different as all sides of the story usually are. I know I am to blame for the past issues that have led to our rocky relationship but so is my sister. I don't want to end up like your mother and sisters but I am not sure how to get past it when my sister refuses to acknowledge any wrong doing on her part or that my hurt feelings are just as valid. In the latest incident my family is requesting that I apologize for blowing up at her(which I should) but it hurts me when I ask them if they have talked to her about her apologizing to me(for hitting me) and they say she has no need to apologize. I will apologize when I know I won't get upset if her apology doesn't follow mine. Because I don't think I should be apologizing just so my family will be happy or because I expect something from it.
  5. Thanks for all the replies. I feel much better since writing it down. I haven't been breaking into tears as much...again the pregnancy hormones! I realized that I need to be active so I volunteered at an elementary school yesterday (I was a teacher up until we moved) and today I am going to clean my parents house while they are at work. I understand that my sister won't be as excited for me since she is busy with her own boy, but I had hoped that the rest of the family would have been as excited for me as they were for her last year. So I guess I am blaming the wrong person. Its easier to blame my sister since shes getting the attention I thought I would be getting and the fact that our relationship has always had its difficulties I am going to try to talk to some of my family about how I feel, but right now I think I am still too sensitive about the issues and need to give it some more time so that I won't break into tears!
  6. Hi there, I really just need to let this all out, so bear with me. I am 5 months pregnant and have been having a hard time dealing with my younger sister. I was married a year before her, but my husband and I decided to wait to have kids until he was done with school, so I could quit my job. She had her son a year after getting married, grandchild #1 for our family. Now I understand its exciting since he was the first grandchild, but when she was pregnant everyone doted on her, now that I am pregnant they are too busy with the golden grandchild to even notice me. Only my mother and husband ask how I am doing or want to feel the baby kick. On top of that the other day when a friend asked if I was having a boy or girl (boy) a family member remarked with a sigh "another boy and hopefully she(my sister) will have a girl next". Its like my nephew is already perfect and no other boy is needed. In addition, my baby shower will be coming up and my sister has already let the family know they are trying to baby #2. I am already dreading her being at the shower because either everyone will want to know how her son is or everyone will be excited about her being pregnant again. Now I know that might not actually happen, but I can't stop thinking about it and the shower is still months away. She also bought a house recently (after living with my parents for 1.5 years) while my husband just graduated and now we have moved in with my parents to save for the down payment. I just feel like I am constantly overshadowed by her. The other day we got into an argument and I lost my temper. I know a childish thing to do. My sister ended up hitting me and when I went to hit her back, her husband pushed me out of the way(hello, did they forget I was pregnant) Later my family just said why are so such a jerk right now and grow up, I'm pregnant, I thought crazy hormones were part of the deal. I didn't mean to get so upset , I felt like I couldn't control myself, it was as if all resentment I have for her right now with just bubbled over. I realize that I am jealous, and my sister has nothing to do with this all. She can live her life the way she wants to. I should be happy for her, instead of I feel. On a side note, I have always found her husband incredibly annoying, between his constant corny jokes and mission stories (you'd think he got off his mission last month, not 4 years ago)he really drives me crazy, which hasn't helped the situation. My husband picking up on the resentment, has joined in making negative comments about the two of them which I have asked him to stop since it doesn't help either. How do I let go of this? At this point, I wish we hadn't moved to my home state to be close to family, we would have been better off moving to Alaska, as far away from family as possible. It doesn't help that I am not working right now and no baby yet, so not much to do during the day while everyone is at work. I am in the process of finding temporary employment, but nothing yet.
  7. so do you just by a bigger size than normal? My garments are starting to bug me now that they constantly ride up and sit on top of my belly. Also if you had the name it would be helpful as there are no pictures online. Thanks!
  8. I am 5 months pregnant and finally showing:) I'm small and so when I went online to order maternity garments I noticed that most of them say they are DD cup. There is no way I will ever fit into that! Are they all that big? Any suggestions on what to order so I can have the best fit possible? Thanks!
  9. I am currently pregnant and I was joking with my husband that we would not longer be able to drive in his 2 door car everywhere, since the car seat won't fit(we ended up searching the net and several actually will!). During the conversation I mentioned that we would definitely have the car seat checked by the police or local organization(I just saw a commercial on TV for it). He stopped joking and said he would never do it. The reason? He won't have a person without a degree checking his work. (Though I wonder how my elementary education degree and his math degree makes us more qualified) I explained to him they are trained and he was adamant. His final reason, he just doesn't like cops. Heres my issue, though I love him, his habit of making snide remarks about others bothers me. For example he grunts like a pig when seeing a cop. Or the other day when showing him pictures of career day in my classroom, he asked what the ghetto black man was doing there (The "ghetto black man" was a phd candidate at the local university in atmospheric science). Or how anyone who is cheap with money must be Jewish. While I in the past I have tried to not let it bother me, now that we are going to have a child soon, I wonder, will he pass this habit onto our kids? Should I be worried? I love my husband and think he will be a great father, but I also want our kids to be accepting of all and respect people for who they are and not what they look like. I definitely want our kids to trust cops and go to them if there is ever a need. Am I just overreacting because of the pregnant hormones coursing through my body?
  10. RubyJ

    Scrapbooking

    I use a program called gimp (GIMP - The GNU Image Manipulation Program) Its very similar to photoshop and its free. I was even able to check a book out of the local library on how to use the program!
  11. I wish we could pay by check, but we are out of checks and don't plan on getting more until after we move(and switch banks since we are moving out of state) However, we have been discussing as to whether or not to get checks at all since the only thing we use them for is tithing. Since the only option for us is to pay by cash, we have decided to pay less frequently and avoid going to the bank often. My husband and I rarely have cash on us, we pay everything by credit card(which we pay off every month-we are debt free) and we are able to pay all of our bills on line. Too bad there isn't an option like the UK has here in the US.
  12. After my husband and I were married, I wanted to start right away. However, my husband was still in school. I worked full-time as a teacher and we realized that we could not afford for me to stay at home so we decided to wait. We knew people who said children are the most imporant thing and waiting was putting money over eternal families but we could not bring a child into this world when we would not be able to pay rent, the bills and be without insurance(there was no way I would put my child into daycare). This spring my husband will be graduating this spring and will be a teacher so we have just decided to start trying next month! Though we are not well off, we are definitely more financially stable than we were at the start of our marriage. Because of our decision to wait, I had the opportunity to get my masters degree paid for by my employer and therefore received a raise and have more in our savings. My masters also opened another opportunity for me to teach a few night classes, something I never dreamed of doing and will be able to continue once we have children. which will also help us financially. Though I was sad when we made the decision to wait, I can see now that we made the right decision. You just never know what lies around the corner.
  13. My husband and I are pay our tithing but we disagree on how often we should pay. My husband wants to pay only once a year. I think we should pay at least once a month. Right now we have a separate savings account for tithing, which I agreed to since we are out of checks (I know we could pay cash, but its so inconvenient to go to the bank) and we are moving after my husband graduates this spring. We keep track of all tithing and transfer the amount to the account after each paycheck. Does it matter how often you pay tithing?