Dinah

Elohim has two meanings. One is simply the plural of Eloach (god/God). The other is much like the Royal 'We' -- Hebrew occasionally uses the plural of a word in order to suggest greatness, not just plurality. There is only one God, according to Biblical text (the Hebrew Bible, that is), and It is addressed in the greatness-'plural' rather than the multitude-'plural'.

The commandment, when translated correctly from the Hebrew, is "Do not murder." Murder is a far cry from simply causing death. Vegetables and fruits are killed in order that they can be eaten. Animals are killed for their meat to be eaten, their bones to be made into tools, and their hides to be made into leather. If someone comes to kill you, you not only have the right to defend yourself as much as is necessary (words if possible; light defense if needed; hard defense if needed; killing as a last resort, but yes, it's permitted) -- because not doing so would be condoning sin. If a nation attacks your nation, you are obligated to defend it: Deuteronomy 21:10, "When you go to necessary battle..." It does, rather pointedly in the Hebrew, say "necessary." Battles, by the way, aren't considered to be battles at all if you're just playing suspense-filled game of chess. For a battle to be a battle, there's bloodshed. There's killing. It's ugly, but as the Biblical text states fairly clearly, it is sometimes needed. Murder is on a whole 'nother level, however. Murder is the willful, unnecessary destruction of life. It is robbing the individual of life, and robbing the world of the individual, without sufficient cause. That is what's being commanded against. I'm sure there's someone here who is a Hebrew scholar, who can correct me if I'm mistaken about this, so please feel free: The verb "murder" in Exodus 20:12 is spelled תִרְצָח (tirtzach) and I think it comes from the root word "rotzah" meaning "want." That is, to be all poetic and pretentious about it, to feel that what you want is more important than someone else's right to exist.

Another great idea is to take flowers to the living, who can appreciate them. Elderly folks and others who have to live in hospice care, hospitals, or assisted living will always appreciate those little things. Of course, it might also be nice when dropping off flowers to stay and chat for a little while, since so few people visit them. But yes, if you're looking for a project that doesn't involve actually interacting with anyone, leaving flowers on graves is a great idea.

I found LDS temple attire when searching for modest gowns, myself. I just read the Terms of Service and they said that a person shouldn't post a URL, so I won't, but just google "temple dress" and follow some links. They're everywhere, and some of them are in cotton or other breathable materials.

I'm Jewish, and Jews don't do flowers or music at funerals, since it would be seen as trying to cover up the loss rather than honor the loss and the grieving process. However, my grandmother has asked that, after the initial week of mourning is over, everyone should gather again for dinner at her place and play certain songs like "Circle of Life" from the Lion King soundtrack, and (spooky point of coincicence, Heckya) "Here Comes The Sun." I like "Morning Has Broken," and may choose to put that into the mix as well. Once in a while, my grandmother asks me to add another song to the list, and I search out an mp3 or other song that I can eventually put onto a CD of mourning/remembrance music. To tell you the truth, I'm glad that we don't do music at our funerals. I'm a professional singer, and I know that my family would expect me to be the one to sing, and I just cannot sing when I'm that sad. My throat closes up and I can't get a sound out at all.

Disclaimer: I'm not LDS, so I may have a perspective that won't work for you. However, I second what Moksha says. You can eat wherever you want to eat. If the chairs in your usual location are comfortable, if the decor is soothing to the eyes, and if you enjoy the people's company when they're not talking about topics you don't like, stick around. It's also okay to introduce a topic of conversation yourself. Instead of passively waiting for someone to talk about their drug use or sexual habits, start something yourself. "Hey, I'm having some folks over for dinner next week, and I'd like to serve a slightly more impressive dinner than usual. Anyone know of a really unusual, tasty salad I could serve as a first course?" As for the party, what are you going for? Is it for socializing with people you enjoy, meeting new people, having conversations and laughing and relaxing? Is it for the opportunity to eat fun and interesting foods and compliment your hosts on how unusual and delicious they are? Because you can do those things even if someone is having a glass of wine or a beer. MOST people require three or more drinks to get drunk, and at least two before they feel any effects at all (at least as far as their ability to hold up their end of a conversation -- one drink, even half a drink, affects the ability to drive). Go to the party. Enjoy yourself. When the conversations turn risque' and/or the alcohol starts to flow in earnest -- that is, more than the two drinks that almost everyone of adult size and weight can handle without becoming impaired or rude -- just go home, claiming tiredness. If on the other hand you're at the party to spread your beliefs and values with people who may or may not be receptive to the message you want to send, you're right, better not to attend, for the same reason you shouldn't try to teach a pig to sing: It wastes your time, and annoys the pig.

How does it work, giving a Patriarchal Blessing? Do they pray beforehand, then type it up, then hand it to you? Or do they pray right with you in the room, and someone's memorizing it to type up later? Or do they pray with you there, and someone's typing exactly what they say, while they say it? How does the blessing get written down?

There's another interpretation of shukling. Not all Jews do this, but those who do are doing two things: 1. Involving the entire body in prayer, not just the voice and the mind (it's also why Jews in "silent" prayer are actually whispering -- it involves the breath and the inner organs in the prayer process), and this is usually what's going on if a person sways from side to side; and 2. Constantly bowing before God, which is what's often happening when someone is swaying from front to back or down and up.