vegasbay

Perhaps I didn't make myself clear enough in my original post. What you advised me to do is exactly what I am trying to do. I know my mother loves me as only a parent can. I know that she cared for me and raised me as best as she could. I know that I am not any more perfect than my mother, but there is a part of every human being that longs for, and indeed needs the complete love and nurturing of both parents. If that need is not filled, it leaves a longing, aching hole in the very core of the soul that cannot be filled by anything else. I equate it to losing a limb. The human body is designed to function with two legs - a person can lose a leg and still live a very function, productive, and meaningful life. But in order to get to that point, there is a process that takes that person from the first stages of severe disability, relying on the help of others and assistive devices, up to the point of prosthesis, where a person can function quite independently, but it is still obvious that the leg is still missing. Finally, a person becomes so adept at their new lifestyle that it is not obvious to anyone that there is something missing unless the disabled person reveals it to them. It is much the same way with children who lose a parent, whether through death, divorce, or disability. I've learned to function independently and I'm working on leading a meaningful and productive life. I am trying very hard to include my mother in that life. Let me say that I love my mom more than I think that even I know, but the fact remains that she is incapable of functioning as a complete mother. I accept that as one of the challenges Father in Heaven has given me in this life. I draw comfort from the knowledge that I have a Mother in Heaven, and some day I will know her and I will know my earthly mother in her perfect form. In the meantime, I am left to fill the hole left in my heart. Although it may not be obvious to anyone else, it is still very real and very painful to me.

To make this short and to the point, my mother is severely bipolar and obsessive-compulsive. She also suffered severe verbal, physical, and sexual abuse as a child. Because of that, she obviously has many issues that are still not resolved, and may never be resolved in this lifetime. I am 21 years old and the youngest of four children. I am trying to come to terms with my earthly family and trying to love and accept my mother for who she is: my biological egg donor, a mother in every sense, but a real mom in very few. It is safe to say that our mother-daughter relationship is nearly nonexistent. Recently, the doctrine of our Heavenly Mother came to mind and this brought me great comfort - although my earthly mother is severely mentally disabled and incapable of being a true parent, I have two exalted, perfected parents who know every hair on my head and love me with a depth incomprehensible to my earthly mind. We know from revelation that She exists as Heavenly Father's eternal companion, but there is so little else. At this time in my life, when I am going through major changes from child to adult, it is very difficult to have a mother who can't be my mom. While keeping the discussion reverent and relevant to the topic and Honoring her in every way that we do our Eternal Father, I would like to know your opinions/experiences/thoughts about our Heavenly Mother.

Hello dear friends, It has been quite some time since I last posted. My life has been very busy! I went back to school after taking a term off, I'm cracking away at my pre-veterinary medicine requirements - my first term back I earned a 4.0 on 18 hours of science and math, this term will be close to that, but maybe a little lower. I have a fantastic internship with the best equine vet in my area (he's also helping me get ready for my vet school application process), I have a small and farm animal vet that I'll work with this summer, I volunteer at the Humane Society, I'm actively involved in United States Pony Clubs (a riding and horsemanship organization for children and young adults), I have a wonderful family full of nieces and nephews, a great relationship with my parents, I just found a great apartment that is close to campus and where I board my horses, I found a fantastic roommate to move in in August, and I have a plethora of animals that mean everything to me. I could spend many more paragraphs describing how wonderful my life is, yet there is something hanging over me... I just turned 21 last week, and as an unmarried woman in the church, the natural tendency is to look towards missionary work. And that is what I am doing. Fantastic! Wonderful! Who wouldn't want to go on a mission?! Who wouldn't want to serve Heavenly Father with all their heart for 18 months? Me. Don't get me wrong, if I knew without a doubt that God wanted me to go on a mission, my papers would already be in my bishop's hand. But I'm just not sure that this is the right thing for me. I spent most of my teenage years lost, looking for a life that I thought Heavenly Father wanted for me. I looked everywhere for it. The search took me to the other side of the country, and even to a different country. After many years and much heartache and loneliness, I finally realized that God had a different plan for me - one that I didn't know. I prayed that He would guide me down the path that was right for me. And now I know that He has. Heavenly Father has given me everything. More than just my temporal existence. He has shown me the life that I am to lead. I will share a line of my patriarchal blessing that has been my guiding compass from the moment I heard it spoken. At 19 years old, it changed and yet confirmed my reason for existence: "You have a special kindness and an understanding of God's creations. Be true and faithful to your desires. Your service to Him and to your fellow men will be meaningful and valuable." I know that this is the reason why I am here on this earth at this time. He has given me everything I need to succeed in this role, including the animals He has given me to care for. They are a part of me. I see my life rolling out in front of me. Everything that I've looked for for so long is finally here. He has placed it right in my hands. And now I am supposed to give it all up. I don't understand how this could be the right thing for me. I feel like I am supposed to be here doing what I'm doing, and yet something won't let me be at ease when I say no to a mission. Leaving my life for such a long period of time seems impossible. The greatest of these challenges would be finding a place for my horse while I am gone. She is everything to me. She is my whole life and I love her more than anything. She has some health issues that need caring for, and I just don't know how I could find someone who is competent and knowledgeable enough to care for her. And even my other animals would have to find temporary new homes. And school, and my family. And...for the past three years I've been dealing with an off-and-on sickness that robs me of my energy and stamina and causes many disturbing muscular and neurological symptoms. And now comes the news that it could possibly be Multiple Sclerosis. Now I am faced with coming to grips with a progressive neurological disease that could rob me of my life. I run 5-9 miles a day (when I'm not sick), I ride my horses...I am a very active and independent person and I take great interest in my physical health. And now I could lose that. I could lose everything. If I lose the use of my hands, or even just my coordination, then I lose my career as a veterinary surgeon. If I lose the strength in my lower legs, then I lose my ability to run and my ability to practice large animal medicine, and even my ability to ride and be around my horses independently. I could also lose my cognition and everything else that makes me independent. I could lose everything. So I am left to find answers, yet I don't know where to look. I'm feeling a little lost again

Well hello my fellow aspie! I have AS as well. I suspected it for a while in my teenage years after a lifetime of being "different", and it was confirmed when I was 18. As for dating, well for quite some time I had no interest in dating or marriage - it was hard enough to understand myself and my friends, let alone the opposite sex!!! But eventually I began to work on my social issues, and while they're by no means resolved, I have made significant progress, especially in the last six months. I began to have an interest in dating about a year ago, but have always been too nervous and afraid to act on it. Then he came around. He is very attractive and everything I have ever wanted in a man. True to my aspie tendencies I have not asked him out yet, though I have talked to him quite a bit and tried to make it obvious that I was interested in him. Each Sunday I go to church hoping that this will be the week that I have the courage to make a move. So in short, for me dating has been quite similar to my other social endeavors - nerve wracking, hard as heck, and as yet unproductive. I have hope though - some day I would like to get married and have children...we'll just have to see how it pans out.

It's even more fun to ride it :) Yeah they never have given it very good coverage, but I hear you can watch all of it on their website. They already did Cross Country, so Stadium Jumping is probably today or tomorrow, I hope they show that.

There's only one where it's all at EVENTING BABY!!!! If you don't know what it is, google it. Just stay away from Laine Ashker.

I have Asperger's Syndrome, so I completely sympathize with your brother's behavior. While I understand (or at least try to) how hard it may be for you to deal with this behavior, take a step back and try to look at it from his perspective... So he sees this Bob kid at school, right? Okay, no big deal. He belongs at school. That is his place. That is where your brother knows and interacts with him. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere he is at my church?!?! AWKWARD!!!!!! He doesn't belong at church, he doesn't go here - this completely changes everything! You see, we are not born with the social graces and nuances that neurotypicals are bestowed with, so we have to create our own rules for those interactions. And since every situation is a little bit different, the corresponding rules for them change accordingly. This is why it is so hard for us to be in new situations - new situations mean new rules, and we don't know those rules until we have had significant time to adjust. It's like being dropped in the middle of a new ball game as the main player, and you have no idea what the point of the game is, how many balls are in play, or any of the other rules - how hard would that be? It's the same deal with new interactions. So to bring this back to the point about Bob Jr, it seems to me that the most likely explanation of your brother's behavior is that he is simply trying to adapt the rules to that with which he is already familiar - you said he wanted to change church into a school, probably because he spends more time at school and is therefore more comfortable with it than church. He wants to kick the Bobs out because he does not know how to interact with them in church - it's a completely separate set of rules! What do I say, what do I do? Do I talk about school, about mutual friends, just leave them alone? Ignore them, say hello? With all these questions, it's much easier just to pretend that they're not there, or even better yet, to get them to stop going altogether. As for the Pledge of Allegiance, well that goes back to school too. He probably says that very often in school, so it seems a natural thing to do while standing in front of an audience. Autistics think in concrete, absolute, rule types of ways. Things have an order, a pattern, and rules. Perhaps your brother just does not know the rules. The more you discipline him, the harder it will be for him to learn them. Try role-playing and skits at home to reward appropriate church behavior and to teach him how to control inappropriate behavior. As for baptism, drop it. Help him go to church, help him learn about the gospel, help him learn to like going to church, and it will all come in time. You said he is in YM - I would go to the YM the boys and the presidency, and explain to them what autism is and why your brother acts the way he does. Tell them that he needs support and friendship to be given out to him, because he does not know how to reach out for it himself. Please, please, please get your brother some professional help. Therapy, occupational therapy, counseling, whatever. Just get him support and someone other than family that he can talk to. What is your brother's passion? The one uniting thing of all Autism Spectrum disorders is a passion. Some people call it patterned behavior or an obsession, but for us it is a passion. It cannot be treated with medication, it has to be followed. Perhaps it is art, or math, or even something as simple as train schedules. Whatever it is, let him embrace it and spend all his free time on it. Nothing will make him happier. Mostly do not force anything. The will of opposition is strong in autistics (for years, the best way to ensure that I would NOT do something was by asking me to do that very thing), so just be patient, understanding, strong, and most of all firm in your education of your brother, and he will come around. Remember that under the Atonement, he is innocent from that which he does not understand.