islelassie

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  1. I see the only healthy way forward is to marry because if you love each other, then it isn't just about sex is it. It is about affection and closeness and comfort. If you intend to be together in marriage, then just marry now. I know you probably want to wait and marry in the Temple but you will damage yourselves and your relationship if you start trying to be something you have long stopped being. We can't have everything in life. Some people I know knew they would break the L of C so they married secretly didn't even tell their parents and a few years along the line they got sealed in the Temple anyway.
  2. Society's messages have changed and we are all of us influenced by society even when it clashes with our religious beliefs. Our children go to mainstream schools and probably spend more time there than they do with parents. When society's norms were chastity outside of marriage, as they were up until about 40 years ago, it wasn't so difficult but now everything is screaming sex and to remain chaste means putting yourself outside of societal norms. Even kids who go to church seem to be having sex more and more before marriage maybe because they are developing physically much earlier- so biological drives to reproduce are also coming earlier. Don't know what the answer is , I have known many devout people who have obeyed everything but the L of C when they fall in love. One young couple who know they were going to break the L of C got married secretly just so they wouldn't do that. Their parents had expected them to wait for several years and they know they couldn't. I guess that was one way around the dilemma when the only reason a couple aren't marrying is because their parents insist they wait.
  3. Realistically, one the transgression has been made, it feels very difficult to go back without feeling rejecting and rejected. There may be genuine reasons why a marriage can't happen right away, and that is the hardest part. It doesn't even matter what age you are, we were in our mid 60s having been widowed and still the need for comfort and I mean comfort not lust was the driving force.
  4. Further to the above, I find it difficult to place a homosexual involvement on the same level as abortion or murder.
  5. Thank you for your answer. It really is a difficult conflict in emotional/psychological terms having been told it was a sin in the catholic church not to accept we had been forgiven. If you brought it up again it was seen as not accepting G od had the power to forgive and had forgiven. I feel no connection now to my long distant past, which happened following an abusive marriage. I have been a prayer group leader and parish counsellor since then. I can mention it as an event but not as something that I need to repent of because I have already done that part 20 years ago. It is not who I am now, nor can I remember how it was then only that it happened . It is not that it is hard to answer the question, it is not from embarrassment I hesitate but because it feels like mentioning it for the sake of it not anything to do with who I am now.
  6. I wonder how it works when an investigator has had a different lifestyle years before, and when of a different religion, and repented of that then. Surely there should be a time scale involved. I would not feel it relevant as a Great grandmother for example to mention that I lived as a lesbian more than 20 years ago !
  7. I think what I meant was that we are considering marriage, in the meantime we have a very huggy relationship but not sex. We are in our mid 60s and that isn't even our priority but because I am not LDS myself I am trying to understand what is acceptable. Also if I converted would it mean that because he is sealed to his late wife, ( they weren't married in a temple, they were sealed about 20 years later) that it wouldn't be appropriate for us to be sealed eventually as well? I know that a man can be sealed to more than one wife, but there seems a lot of emotional stuff about being disloyal if he would want to be sealed to me as well.
  8. I am in my mid 60s as is my companion. He is LDS, I am interested but not taken it any further as yet because we have no LDS church remotely close to us at our current living situation. All the advice for dating and so on is understandably aimed at young couples. What about older couples who have been married before? My marriage ended in divorce 30 years ago, and I later applied for anulment of that marriage due to my age and lack of informed consent at the time. My friend is a widower, who was sealed to his late wife. What form should our 'dating relationship ' take. We are very physically affectionate and I wouldn't want that to stop for the reasons given why young people should be careful. We are mature enough to be honourable after all!