littlefrau

I was engaged to a man for 2 years who introduced me to the church.... we got baptised, and I got the greatest gift ever - which was the Gospel! He then went fully inactive (he was less active when we started dating) and pulled me along with him... I was so in love, completely and totally, but the anxiety you're experiencing I can relate to completely... it is the worst. I couldn't stand it - I knew what I needed to do, and I knew it was an impossible thing to do - but I did it! I realized slowly and surely that my Heavenly Father who loves us each so much, that my Saviour who died for me... were the only 2 people that I could ever think of sacrificing my relationship for. I also realized that if my boyfriend was right for me in the long run - then coming back to church would only help - it would give me the family i wanted, and the life i wanted. It is now several years later and I can attest to the best decision I ever made - going back to church and NEVER LOOKING BACK. I am married to a man who is the most wonderful person I have ever met. My ex doesn't compare at all - I have never been treated with so much love and respect, and am sealed to him forever. I am a different person - I am better with Heavenly Father and my Saviour. I can do more for others, I can do more for myself. The atonement is amazing. Everything you think you are losing will be made up to you hundredfold.

I am at the beginning stages with this... I, unlike many spouses and significant others in this situation, had the knowledge of my husband's addiction from when we were dating. My husband treats me like an absolute queen - he is infinitely kind, understanding, loving, and romantic. We dated for under a year and just got married in December. He has struggled with pornography since he was very young, and has always detested it and sought help - his parents know about it, and he has attended different ARP programs over the years to work on his sobriety. When we started dating seriously, I joined the ARP support group for the wives and could not relate to the abusive side of the addiction - my husband has never been neglectful, or anything close to unkind. However, he relapsed the last 2 weeks, and just told me this past weekend. Due to the fact that I know all about his struggles, and was fine in the past when he struggled, I surprised myself with the huge emotional reaction I had. I was completely distraught. I was most distraught about the fact he struggled for 2 weeks before telling me. He told me right after he had a meeting with the Bishop - and he scheduled a meeting to see a therapist for the first time tomorrow. I realize that compared to so many other couples where the husband is resistant to help or change or admitting he has a problem, my husband is definitely doing a good job. What I am finding is that the more I try to educate myself on the addiction, the more scared I get - church talks, support websites... they are really terrifying me. They talk about the cup that is clean on the outside but rotten on the inside... and it makes me wonder if I should be very worried. I am concerned for my husband's wellbeing and the spiritual impact it will have on him and on our relationship, but all the things on the web and even some things on this forum makes me wonder if I should be more scared. That isn't good - as I am already more uncomfortable than i was - but with my husband treating me so well, and our relationship being so good, should I really read into it more than that?