JDBBAB

Thank you, everyone, for your thoughts. I actually am feeling better. You're all correct... I DO have a choice. I can wait for the sealing cancelation and sealing clearance processes to be complete, or I can be married civilly, then get sealed in a year. While I don't want to wait a year, I know that the Lord knows we are doing our best, and that, as Jennarator put it... "all will be worked out". I do have faith that it will and I feel that's what the Lord wants / expects from me. I appreciate the person who said I am "choosing" to feel like I'm being punished. That sure is true. And after reflection, I realize that the Lord is not punishing me. He knows my heart and he knows that I'm doing what I can to be with a very Christlike man. I guess I was just looking for an explanation for the 1 year waiting period. But after thinking about it, I realize, I just need to have faith that there is a reason for it. The importance of being sealed in the temple should always be emphasized and I would never want to take away from that.

I am getting married a second time and would like to know why I have to wait a year (after our civil ceremony) to get sealed? My fiance and I are both divorced with 2 kids each. We are both still sealed in the temple to our former spouses. However, neither one of our ex-spouses are active in the church and both committed adultery more than once during the marriages. I have been with my fiance for 9 months. He is an amazing, temple-worthy man and I am temple-worthy as well. Neither one of us are bitter towards our exes. In fact, we both have a pretty decent relationship with them. About a month ago, shortly before we became engaged, I met with my bishop to inquire about what needed to be done so that I could be married in the temple to my fiance because I wanted to start the marriage off right. My bishop is fairly new to his calling so he pulled the handbook out and started going over the sealing cancelation process. I then asked him how long he thought the process might take. He didn't know, as it has to go through the First Presidency. I left his office feeling like he was almost encouraging me to get married civilly. Well, fast-forward 6 weeks, and we have, indeed, decided to have a civil ceremony. My fiance's family is from out of town, we have very busy lives with active children, and we simply needed to plan (which just wasn't possible if we were to wait for sealing clearance and sealing cancelations on both our parts). I was a little discouraged, but at least we could move forward with our lives. Now, according to the Handbook, we have to wait for an entire year (from our civil ceremony date) before we can be sealed (even though we are both temple-worthy). We've inquired about why this is the case, but no one including our bishops can give us an answer. This is frustrating to me because a woman can't even apply for a cancelation without the name of another person to whom she plans to be sealed in the temple. Well, I have that man and, after much pondering and prayer, I am certain I want to be sealed to him, and I am anxious to start my life with him. Why do I feel like I'm being punished for having a civil ceremony? If it were up to me, I'd do it in the temple the right way. But it ISN'T up to me.... it's up to my bishop, my stake president, the first presidency AND my ex-husband (who has to submit a letter explaining his feelings on the cancelation). Can someone please give me any insight into this?