Hammerdown54

Great advice everyone! I have a year June 2nd..I do feel smothered..and I thought I could manage recovery and a relationship...I am going to step back....I never ever want to feel like I did a year ago..every day is a miricle and im thankful for my blessings...love you all!!

Ok...and away we go... Hello everyone! Wow what a ride....I am 37 years old and became a member in 1992..Life was good and soon after college I started my career as a Firefighter.....needless to say the job took its toll on me. I had 17 years of inacivity and was swallowed whole by the world..I was injured at work...had 10 surgeries (knee and shoulder) and pills/booze literally killed me. My old engine crew saved me from a overdose and I attempted rehab....5 times...In the midst of all the pain and divorce...I finally managed to get a full year of clean and sober time (yeah). A year ago I became active again...I met a wonderful LDS woman and have been seriously dating her for 7 months. It has become serious enough that marriage is on both of our minds. I am very leary about marriage and starting over...keep in mind I was only active for about a year before I dropped off of the face of the earth...I have a issue with authority within the church :(and what is being asked of me to be sealed and to truly grasp the chrch in whole. Its hard for me to regularly attend feeling like im being made to go. I feel smothered even though I love this woman but feel like 7 months isn't near enough time even if I wasn't in recovery...anyone in recovery from addiction or not care to give some loving advice? Obviously I have trust problems...so I take a leap of faith and post this...Fyi I go to AA/NA regularly and my fellow addicts think I am crazy for being in a relationship...oh and that they think im not Christian...any advice family? Its lonely being a recovering addict in the fire service and LDS to boot..much love to you all!!,