blackjacks

I apologize if what I am going to say sounds insensitive but I have the hardest time reading posts like these and holding my tongue. I don't understand why LDS people feel that just because they have been married in the temple or out of the temple that infidelity under ANY circumstance requires forgiveness and burial of said act and suppression....It makes absolutely no sense to me at all. The purpose of life is to be happy not walking around next to someone who has harmed you mentally, made you look like a fool and while cheating on you with prostitutes became a pathological liar as he covered up his tracks. Not only did he lie to you he was an absolute hypocrite not practicing what he was preaching to other people around him. I came home early from work one night and found my x-wife in bed with another woman, and once that blew up I started finding more and more lies that she was telling and hiding and felt the same as you. I felt like I was standing and living next to a complete stranger, I mean how could someone who I was married to in a sacred place to those sorts of things? I was an amazing husband, I provided for her emotional needs, I provided for her spiritual needs, I provided for her sexual needs, I provided for her monetary needs, I made her laugh, we went on trips together, her family thought I walked on water, and all of her friends loved me. I tried to forgive and forget but could not get over how wronged I had been and had absolutely NO trust for her for anything and I was miserable and tired of living that way every day. After a lot of pondering and praying I stood up for myself and left and filed for divorce and for the first few weeks it sucked...it sucked big time but with the passing of every day I got stronger and the person I was before came back. The bitterness and resentment I felt towards her left and the real me came back the more I distanced myself from her and stopped taking her calls and texts. Do I hate being single? Yes I can't stand it especially being in a family ward filled with couples and their kids. Did I loose my temple recommend or compromise my standings with the Lord or church? Heck no just because we are members and don't believe in divorce doesn't mean that we are automatically immune to real world situations including infidelity. The only person that knows what will make you happy is you and you alone. You have to decide if the benefits of being with someone who has become a pathological liar while spending time in the arms of prostitutes is worth the pain you are going through. You...not your bishop, not the stake president, not the girls at the support groups no one but you know that, and if you are no longer happy with him as the direct results of HIS actions then that it's o.k, you can leave, you can file for divorce and not loose your standing with anyone. It's perfectly o.k to leave someone who has slept with multiple prostitutes, it's o.k to not trust a pathological liar, it's o.k to have thoughts when you go some where and it's next to a massage parlor because you wouldn't be human if you didn't. In the end you have to decide what to do, either make a decision and bring peace back to you life by leaving and moving on to someone who will love, honor and cherish you.....OR stop making yourself mental because you have decided to stay with him and know you are married to a cheater and know for the rest of your life you will have these feelings but YOU have made the decision to stay and quit making yourself miserable because you now know you have made the decision to stay. You can end what you are going through, you just have to be honest with yourself and that is so hard and took me a long time to do. The purpose of life is to be happy and it would be one thing if you were pissed cause he wouldn't put down the toilet seat and rolled the toilet paper under instead of over....but it's not. You are dealing with raw emotion from a serious situation he caused and it's o.k to leave. Once you make up your mind peace will return, just be honest with yourself and if you need any advice send me a private message I would be happy to help.

One thing I have never understood is why people try to go into relationships changing someone. The way they are when you date them is the way they are going to be when you are married. There are so many quality people in the world who would treat you the way you deserve to be treated why sell yourself short? If someone is not treated you the way you deserve to be treated then you owe it to yourself to find that person that lifts and builds you and makes you a better person and treats you the way you want to be treated. Being single sucks, but being in a unfulfilling relationship is 100 times worse. :)

You're not stupid at all, in fact you are very smart to have your eyes open to who he really is and not get back into a situation like that again with him. I am so sorry that he felt the need to decieve you the way he did and portray himself as something he is not. Sounds like he was using you for citizenship and to go to school and thank heavens he showed his true colors early and you were smart enough to catch on to it. Be strong no matter how many sob stories he will tell you and being sent home, he should have thought about that before he lied to you and said such hurful things to you. The only stupid thing would be to get back together with him.

I apolgoize for being so bold but why the heck would you marry someone for anything other than being madly in love with someone? Did you not know how much trouble you can get in if the government was to find out the circumstances of your marriage? The only reason that he wants to get together is to keep himself in the country and continue his education he could not get in his country and he sounds like he is a muslim. He is right this would not be happening in his country because if you refuse an abortion he would beat you until you gave in and aborted your child, or beat you until you spontaneously aborted the child. People get married because they are in love not because they feel sorry for someone who can't stay in the country. He can get in line with the rest of people that want to come into the country and do it just like everyone else. It's obvious he has no intentions of being with you after he gets his citizenship and graduates his program, and there are men in this country who will treat you with the love and respect you and your daughter deserve. I work in law enforcement and trust me you don't want to go down the road of being investigated for immigration fraud. Wash your hands of this situation and move on before it really gets bad for you. You are worth WAY more!

Depends on the season, but it's right at the tip of the spear where storms come down out of the Bearing Sea so it does not rain non-stop but it rains more then it doesn't rain. Because of that everything is green and lush and the summers when it does not rain are absolutely beautiful.

My x was from there and it is a beautiful place to visit for sure but is also a very small town with a lot of seasonal activities that go on. Portland is only a couple hours away which is a big place to visit and it also has one of the best Thai food places to eat I have ever been to. They have a HUGE 4th of July celebration up on the hill with a huge fireworks show, but as far as work goes there is work but it is a lot of manual type labor stuff in the fishing industry, and yes there is a ward there. As far as singles go there were not tons of them there just due to the size of the town, but if you are comfortable living in a small town with small town type people and having to drive quite a distance to get to bigger towns and you don't mind living somewhere that rains almost non-stop all year long and only has a summer season for a few weeks a year, it's the place for you.

A lot of those questions that you are asking really can only be answering by you. If you do not have a celestial marriage on this earth then you are not going to magically have one on the other side just because we loose our bodies for a time. The things that you are going through and the feelings that you are feeling are completely normal and you deserve to have those feelings. Your husband has broken the very foundation of marriage and you are completely justified feeling as though you can never trust him again. I can relate to that completely as my now x-wife was having an affair with other women while we were together and I did my best to stick around and work through things but in the end it was my decesion to move forward and move on. If he has absolutely trodded on your feelings the way that he has with many many women like you are saying then you are more than justified in finding love with someone who would love and cherrish you the way that you deserve. I caught my x in the act and I can relate yo your feelings about how do you look at them and not think about them with other people. It was something that I could not get over and no one can tell you how to get over the obsessive thinking cause we are not in your brain but what I did was just tried to keep myself busy with things. I just got to the point where I could no longer lie to myself and say that everything was ok and that her several infidelities did not matter to me any more and I made the decesion to end things. I can really relate to your feelings and if you need someone to bounce ideas off of or someone who has been right where you are at pm me and I would be happy to help.

There are lots of single men there in Az and other close cities. Don't be in a rush to get married although in our church it is VERY hard to be in your mid 20-40's and not married. I have many single LDS male friends in Az who would love to find a good girlfriend.