rosie321

Differences: No candles, incense, wine, latin....:) Harder to be a one day a week member. Through scriptures and prayer you have to work to find your answers or you will grow weary. Both churches have a strong central leadership that guides the church. You do not have to go to the Bishop for routine confession. Only grevious wrongs need to be addressed and confirmation times when you go to the baptismal interview, temple etc. Either you are doing or you're not. If you're not he sends you back to the Lord or helps you find ways to get you back on the gospel path. Moderation, temperance, purity, family , relationships and self control are emphasized. There is peace through knowing where we came from, what God wants us to be here on earth, and in the future. The Book of Mormon is much easier to read and follow than the Bible:) While it may seem like more work in the LDS church it seems easier. simpler to understand and apply, and with much more freedom.

Another LDS misconception: 23 is not the end of the world when it comes to marriage:). Don't worry about marriage and focus on something else. It might help connect you to other likeminded people. As has been pointed out before all you need is one who loves the gospel. You are desirous but have not found the one that is for you yet. Your time will come someday. Wait for the spirit to help you choose. I must disagree with above posts. Be wary of settling for just anyone to get married. If done correctly your future marriage should last forever. Be certain they share the same commitment towards spiritual things as you. Marriage is like a three way commitment when done correctly. It is between you, your partner and God. If your partner wants to eliminate one piece of that triad there will be problems If you want to follow the gospel you will have to discriminate when it comes to the choice of your partner. "Choose ye this day whom ye will serve". Picking someone outside of the gospel may help you get married but that may be all it does. There are many single members of the church not by choice who have done much work for God that they might not otherwise have been able to do. One sister that comes to mind was in the Relief Society presidency. (In the Ensign a while back there was an article about her). She was a strength and comfort particularly to the single sisters I knew. You have the right desires in your mind and God knows your thoughts. Continue to "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you." Trust the Lord and do what you should be doing. Blessings will flow.

Oops I'm truly sorry for all the misunderstanding above and congratulations on your fiance's upcoming baptism. I missed that line before responding above so I thought he was all non-member and wrote accordingly:(

Sorry if my post sounded harsh. I understand she came seeking help on how to plan the marriage. Hearing her decision to marry a non-member raised some concerns in my mind. As her sister in the gospel I felt it important to ask her before she marries this man why she is marrying a non-member and make sure she has really asked herself this question. She is making a death 'til you part decision to someone who believes differently than her. How will this relationship weather the storms that come it's way if it cannot honestly answer that question or cope with people asking that question? Asking these questions should be as important a part of planning the marriage as picking the place or the person who will marry them. There are some mixed member and non-member families that do work out well. Some sadly work out better than the all member. The important question I must ask is do they have a true commitment to work through their differences? Do they fully understand what their religious differences are? Being in love defineately helps the marriage move but it won't make it last. Their religious differences can create a problem for her in the future. I don't know whether this is the right or wrong to do. Perhaps this is the right thing for her to do at this time. God has that answer for her. I hope she has truly asked God for the answer on this and really recieved an answer yes or no. While this is an extreme case, in the Bible God called Hosea to take a harlot. So it is very possible she may be called for some unknown reason to link up with her fiance. As above the final decision is hers BTW: I am married to a non-member who I love very much and is very supportive. But it still brings a number of extra challenges and heartache that wouldn't have existed otherwise;). The General Authorities have wisely counseled throughout the centuries of marrying outside the church because of the extra problems that come along with being unequally yoked;). Considering all the demands of our church, is it really so unreasonable to ask why before they marry?

Perhaps this is a good training ground for your children. There will always be people who disagree and don't approve of the church. How your children learn to deal with such people is key. Perhaps your children and their friends should be thoughtful and prayerful as to the reasons why they are in the church and looking in to it. This could make them stronger. I know many members who joined and were stronger because of the questions. Perhaps your mom never fully understood the church herself or left. This could be God's way of opening the door to future help there. Be very wary of how you respond. The mama cub always wants to protect her young. Sometimes sharpness is needed and sometimes gentle as doves is needed. Pray for the wisdom that applies to your circumstance. "And all these things will be for thy experience"

Sorry to be a party pooper- just wondering why you are deciding to marry a non member after being sealed in the church? While he might be a great person you are marrying him and for a time becoming "one" with him. Won't you be unequally yoked? From the outside I don't fully understand and just a little concerned but wish you the best no matter what you do. You can get married outside of the chapel by the bishop. Since you are not getting married in the temple its much more flexible and is dependent on what the local leadership is willing to do. I've known people who have gotten married outdoors and other buildings As far as I know you can do your own vows, within reason. The vows are just vaild for earth outside of the temple. Since you are already married for eternity this most likely is of no concern.

Let me ask you some questions and comment on what I feel you have said. Please do not feel the need to respond back on this site or be offended any questions or comments left. Sometimes questions need to be asked and things said. First let me note that it is great that you are trying to make an eternal family and are following what you believe to be the Lord's way. You WILL be blessed for your efforts. Perhaps not in your timing though;) Do not be discouraged. Many people have had to face challenges and persecution for following Christ or being associated with the church. May I encourage you to read Matthew 5 ( or the parallel in the BOM). Tough question time. Why were you seperated in the first place? Answering this question may help you better understand which way to go. A doctor cannot provide the proper help without understanding what the issue is. So you have to be completely honest with yourself and God regarding this. Is there something that you are doing to cause problems? If so what? What if anything can you do to fix it? Can you or have you prayed about the matter? Do you feel that your marriage is repairable? Do you think that your wife truly wants to fix it? (Its much harder if she doesn't want to) How can you come to a peaceable solution? Is there any? Would you be willing to risk putting your relationship aside(sacrifice) for a time to focus in on God and doing what it is that God wants you to do? Perhaps this is a test for you? I wish that I had easy answers for you! You have to go before the ultimate doctor (God) though. He will show you what to do or put the people in the path that you need. Perhaps you can work things out with your wife maybe not. The variables are great. Rest assured that there are many couples in the church whose partner is not a member of the church. It is possible to have a good marriage whether she joins or not, although it will present you both with some added challenges and heartache. Respect her desire not to be a part of the church and make it clear that you will not force her or your son to go. But make it clear to her that you feel the desire right now to join the church and you want to meet with the missionaries because it will help you be a better husband, father, and person. If you ignore something that you feel so strongly about it will destroy you in the long run. Do not play matyrr when you are called to do something else. If you try and cover up something so important to you you will be filled with hate, frustration and other internal rage that will manifest itself in ways you never planned on. There is a lot of fear, misunderstanding and animosity regarding the church. Respect her desire not to join or be a part of it. Its easy to go to the extreme of almost pushing it on her and try to save her-but wasn't that Satan's plan? You can't drag her along. Everyone has their agency. Sometimes it hurts. God has always respected the free agency of man. From the garden, during the time of Christ, etc. That is what you have to do. Imagine someone trying to push something that you didn't want. There needs to be a balance of respect. She should be willing to let you live your life as led by God. You need to let her follow her heart too. Is it possible for to keep a relationship going even with differences in beliefs. Maybe not very easily though. Your relationship to God needs to be #1 or you will never find happiness with anyone. So stay close to scriptures and pray often. You can do all you can for her and it may not make a difference. Follow God 1st and show her the love that Christ showed his church. If she reads scriptures read with her from the Bible. The same truths in the BOM are found in the Bible. The differences in your understandings and beliefs can also be used to strengthen you both spiritually if you let it. Focus in on Gospel truths rather than church specific things. Most spiritual truths cross over different church or religious environments. As you look at what you have in common your relationship will strengthen. Good luck to you. Continue to try and choose the right. It may not be easy but be assured of this you are never forgotton by God and He will keep His promises. Do not be afraid to listen and obey that which you feel He calls you to do.

I was asked a question that has really stumped me. I'm hoping somebody can help me find an answer. Here's my summed up background understanding on the matter. *Passover was something required forever to remember the passing over the death angel over the Isrealites in the O.T. It is known as the feast of the unleavened bread. *Sacrament is the way in which we remember it now The question was.....If passover is the feast of the unleavened bread then why do we use leavened bread in the sacrament meetings to remember it? Shouldn't we always be using unleavened bread to remember? I know the devil can be in the details sometimes but... I thought they raised a good question and would love to know the answer. Does anyone know where to find the answers to this question or have some ideas?

Not to give you a swelled head or anything, but I really have to echo the chorus of others, I think you are doing the right thing. You are also setting a great example not only for your daughter but all who post here. Its great that you have such a relationship with your daughter that she can speak to you about this. Sadly, some parents don't have that. Its also remarkable that you were receptive to her coming to you. This is the place where most well intentioned people lose it. They don't want to hear their child may not choose to stay with the gospel. They come down so hard they actually push a person farthur away from the gospel. I pray that you might continue to have the strength to support her and handle any outcome. Continue to support, love, and pray for her. (You don't seem like the kind of person who will stop). She may really test your resolve if she chooses not to stick it out and starts making some bad choices. Stay as strong, loving and faithful as you already are. One of my favorite stories is the story in the B.O.M. . The angel of the Lord appears to the sons of because of the prayers of their father. They are converted and the rest is history.

I think it boils down to what kind of men and women do we want to be? What will help our testimony or potentially hurt it? What good does swearing do for us? Sure it may be possible to say a few swear words and still have a testimony. Everyone slips up and forgiveness is possible. But how much is too much? When does a little become uncontrollable or lead to other things? Substitution in order to continue swearing in an exceptable way makes me think of a wolf in sheeps clothing. While it may be more culturally accepted a wolf is still a wolf no matter how you dress it up. "It is IMPOSSIBLE for a person who swears to have a strong testimony is an extreme statement but something worth consideration. Each thing we do bears some consequence. How do we want to be known? "All things are possible not all things are profitable".

Impossible probably not but it certainly would make it more difficult to have a strong testimony. Other members may find it difficult to hang around with someone who swears. A persons social influences will then change creating a change in the social pull to stay on track. While it may make a person seem more acceptable to non-members they may in actuality become a laughing stock for those outside the church. Members should avoid all appearances of evil and be an example of the faith. If a member is swearing how different are they? Why should non members follow? The easier it is to justify one wrong the easier it is to justify others. If they are swearing using the Lords name in vain then they are breaking one of the basic commandments. According to the scriptures wickedness never was happiness. It may seem like just a few words who cares. Ask the Lord and see what He thinks.

It certainly sounds like you want to be there so why aren't you? I can honestly say I have felt the same way you have at times. But I found I had to do some soul searching. I'm going to ask you some tough love questions that I had to ask myself when going through feelings such as yours and tell you how I handled them. As far as your lacking support, whose support are you seeking? Why are you going to church? This was a tough one for me to get to the root of and handle the answer. I go out of love for my savior. If this is true I shouldn't stay away because of fear of man or because people don't like me or they don't live up to their commitments. I go because of my commitment, gratitude and love to my savior who went through so much. In order to fully live up to my commitment I need to put my selfishness and fears aside and trust God. He is there, He loves us and will not ask us to do anything save he prepare a way whereby we may accomplish the thing which he hath commanded. Christ suffered so much for me and my sins. Why do I think everything is always going to fall perfectly in place? It didn't for Christ. Christs closest followers did not comprehend what he was telling them and fell asleep at one of the most critical times when He needed them most. They denied and betrayed him. Despite this, Christ did what He was supposed to. He fullfilled the will of the Father at all times. Could others need your help? God may want you there to help others. Your visiting and home teachers may not have come because they have too many people such as yourself. They are also human and probably covering an extra load-yours. Go to church. Its what you want to do. Don't let anyone or anything seperate you from experiencing greater love and closeness to the gospel of Christ. That is what church should be about.

Oops this posted after your post.

Apologies if my above post was too harsh. I think it's important to really consider the cost and the blessing you will have recieved if things turn around. It's great to see you want to make things work out. I am of the belief too that divorce should be avoided at all costs. Holding onto your eternal marriage is a noble aim. Hopefully all will go well with you. But once again please let me urge caution in just giving her things to read. The temptation to do so might be strong, but I'm not sure that will be helpful. I sincerely believe that may cause more pain. She did not break such grave trusts with you. You broke them. Perhaps you read them yourself so she can see you are serious and repenting. Your wife is hurt but maybe if she sees you reading or hears you listening to the materials she might be tempted to read or listen with you.

While I'm certain that this is not what you want to hear I ask you to consider what I am saying for a moment.. Consider for a time what you did and the impact that your actions have on your wife. You have given her no reason at all to trust you and have broken lifes most sacred LDS trusts. Adultery, disciplinary counsel-putting at risk your eternal marriage and sealing, drinking, repeatedly lying to your wife..... These actions bear grave. consequences. Simple apologies cannot repair what you have done. Your discussion of what was done most likely hurt her because it brought back memories of the broken trust. Be patient with her. The greater the damage the greater the time to heal. Some things may never be back to the way that they were. Sin bears a heavy price. Consider this cost always so you are not tempted again. If you want to see your relationship survive, please do not gather information to give your wife on love and forgiveness. Most likely this will seem insulting coming from you and may only reopen wounds right now. Let the Lord and her friends draw her back to those principles. You can pray for her and your relationship while continuing to grow in the Lord. I don't know what the full extent of the damage is to your marriage or if it can be saved. It would be a tremendous blessing if things could be worked out and your wife finds the strength to forgive you. Divorce would be spiritually justified though because of your actions. The fact that she has stayed with you this long may be a good sign. Continue to read your scriptures, pray, and turn to leaders for support. Praying for you.