SerenaB

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  1. Yeah I see what you're saying estradling75, and I will be open to all possibilities of how this will end up. I think I'm conflicted over this and it's not something that's going to be resolved easily. I don't want the sealing to be difficult on my next marriage, but any way I spin it, I think it will be. I'm going to try to be a beacon of light to the men I date, and act like it's not a problem and everything will work out in the Lord's time. Faith is really the only answer, I just worry worry worry about the issues I'm facing. My mom even suggested marrying outside the church because those men aren't "indoctrinated" but I don't want separate values, no priesthood and I still think that would be considered "marrying outside of the covenant." Although she said my children would still be born in the covenant....weird I know. I just hope I can get through this. It's been a really emotionally tough couple of years and I think the next couple of years may be just as difficult in some ways.
  2. I would totally be open to marrying a widower, except that there are VERY few out there. On average from ages 20-40 there are more men that die than women because men tend to do more dangerous things (e.g. ride motorcycles, work with machinery, military). That being said, I went to a popular lds dating site to look at my prospects. There was 10 pages of widows my age looking to be married. There were 8 TOTAL widowers in the same age range. 8! That being said, why would a widower even marry a widow? He can get clearance to be sealed to the second wife as well. I have been told that when my second husband and I are both dead, we can be sealed together by our children. However, it still leaves uncertainty and therefore heartache in the marriage. I'm not saying that Heavenly Father won't work it all out, because I'm sure he will, but it's still a hard thing to bare, no matter what rational assumptions we come up with it still boils down to this: He's not sealed to me and he's not sealed to our future children. I may be with another guy throughout eternity. Have I thought about breaking the sealing? Yes. Goodness Yes! I may change my mind later on, but it still hurts a lot to think that. I have a baby with my first husband, I think it would be different if we didn't have any posterity. I honestly feel like I would be pulling the rug out from underneath him. I made covenants with him on the alters of the Temple that are supposed to go beyond death. I made PROMISES. And I'm going back on my word because something happened that wasn't his fault? Does anyone else see that it kind of makes me a liar? Anyway, I appreciated every post on here. I enjoyed reading them. Keep them coming. I also appreciated some of the honest opinions on here. I assumed the answer was, "no" pretty much. I just wish I could be sealed to both like it was back in the 80's. It would save me a lot of heartache.
  3. Hi, I'm a young (24 year old) widow. My husband of two years passed away a year and a half ago. I don't want to break my sealing. I've prayed about it in the Temple and feel I shouldn't. I don't want to lose my first husband either. I contacted the first presidency and it is confirmed that living women can only be sealed to one man, so unless I break my sealing I cannot be sealed to a second husband (ironically the one I'll live my life with). This was a policy change that occurred in the 1980's - they used to allow widowed women to be sealed twice. I recently started dating a guy, but he ended up telling me that he needed to be sealed so it could never work out unless he's sealed. I'm still really upset about it. Is that really the boat I'm stuck on? I can only marry a divorcee (he's going to want a sealing too) or widower? I'm an attractive girl, I've never had problems getting asked out or asking a guy out. However, getting back into the dating world makes me feel fearful, like I don't deserve to get remarried because for two years, I already had a good marriage. I want the priesthood in my home for me and my young child, who also needs a righteous father. Guys: Would you date a girl that was sealed? If you were in my situation, can you really blame guys for wanting to be sealed? That's what we're taught at conference. "Get sealed at all costs."