Quin: I am so sorry to hear you were in such a bad relationship that your son was affected to that point...and anatess; I am so very impressed that you admit it - incredibly impressed. It is the sign everyone in an abusive relationship looks for in their abuser and hope they really mean...because there is hope always in all our partners. But, I'm convinced that agency is a power we take for granted in ourselves and others. We forget that we - and those who choose to manipulate and abuse us - are given choices everyday and though we can choose how we respond and whether we allow the abuse, we cannot take the will away from the abuser - they are responsible for their actions and we cannot take that away. It is everyone on earth's God given right, the agency won - by us all - in our premortal life. I too have felt helpless with my children observing such disrespectful behavior, worried and fretted about their future in their own marriage relationships and felt so much responsibility to them for what I couldn't understand - let alone control - I almost drowned in that guilt alone. I will write more later...thanks for all your replies! This is very therapeutic.
