Hello Newbie here. I wanted some ideas, suggestions. I am a single male, no children, mid-40's. In no way am I perfect, I have lived alone for about 14 years. Even spent some months not going to church. When I think back to when (about 9 years ago) I was not going to church, I was suffering anexity and depression. I had a parent facing a cancer operation. I would go to church and people wanted to know how Dad was, but never how are you. Two years ago he was diagnosed with a separate lung condition, sadly it is a terminal condition and 3 to 5 years is the common life expectancy. Again, I hear how is your Dad, never how are you. Over the 14 years I have lived alone I would think on average I have 1 Home Teaching visit a year. Even when I was not going to Church my then HT Companion was dragging me out Home Teaching and his faithfulness, love did more than Home Teachers, because I never saw the Home Teachers. I am praying for answers to things at the moment, I pray that HF will send Home Teachers so I can talk to them. But I know they have free agency, Right now I struggle to know if The Lord does not love me or if the members of ward do not love me. Right now, the thing that keeps me going to church is a calling as a Primary Teacher and that my current HT companion and I will attempt to arrange visits with our families before/after Sacrament. Right now though I know the Sacrament is important, I find hearing some speakers in the meeting, difficult as I really am fed up with the ward in general and that aside from my HT companion I have no contact with the members during the week. Sorry if this a bit if a rant, just feel lonely and feel that despite my prayers the loneliness increases as I worry about my parents health issues. But no one in the ward, seems to care about me as the individual.
